Summer in YOUR neck of the woods, come chat :-)

No, you haven't missed me - was just answering some urgent emails and calls, so decided to wait a minute or two to see if anyone has wishes to send her way.

I'm also printing up the pictures that Joanne and I posted here, so Carol can see them as well.

Thank you everyone - heading out to visit her now.

I've missed the boat on the wishes from myself, but, I am sure she knows we are all thinking of her.
When I went through the surgeries with Lorna, I SO appreciated Linda and Brenda keeping you updated and sending along your thoughts .. now, it's our Carol's turn ..

Have a pic to share of a MOST beautiful Luna Moth who spent the day sunning on the garage. We watched carefully to make sure no Crows or Blue Jays made her dinner !!

Off to bed

~M~

Wow "M" gorgeous!!

You probably are in bed by now, I've just gotten back from Ann's , was falling asleep at the dinner table as was she, lol..off to bed!

Drats, torrential downpour..lots of flowers no longer standing up but kissing the ground..oh well!

Marilyn - I did put in some of the things you'd said once you found out -
"I feel so helpless living in Ontario. Keeping Carol close in thought"


Carol:
She was breathing kind of rough when she got agitated, but was fine when calmed down. She spoke a bit, and I read to her what you'd said in this thread. When I said "Violist" she thought I was going to say ViolaAnn, and said "Ann!". She was pleased to get so many messages of love and prayers from us. I printed off messages from the group here, and also included pictures Joanne and I had. She was facing the wall when I came, but I'm sure she'll look at them later. She is very aware of everything going on, although she's extremely tired, and doesn't open her eyes much. She doesn't sit up at all.
I stroked her arm and told her how much we all love her, and what a gracious lovely lady she's always been.
She smiled at that.
There's a quilt hanging over the end of her bed and and it's a new quilt so maybe it came from the Hospice itself, because Wilma didn't know anything about it, nor did Carol.
Wilma was there, and I thanked her for all she's done for Carol, including looking after her mail.
Apparently there are a lot of people who come to see Carol, so they have a time limit of 10 min/2 visitors, but I stayed for about 1/2 hr, quietly sitting in a chair.
When I left, it was a very happy peaceful feeling that came over me, because I know that she heard everything you'd said about her gardens, shelties and how much she's loved. It greatly pleased her, and thus, me....... I was smiling when I left.

I will see how she is tomorrow, and may be able to visit her again. I don't want to tax her with too many visitors, but I know she enjoyed the visit today, even though she didn't say much (her breathing issues don't allow much talking).

ViolaAnn - I told her you are going to be in Calgary next Friday, and also how much you were hoping to see her.
I am not talking about her to her as if she were gone already, or giving a time........ but of course she's a realist and would know it herself. Who knows what God's plan/timing is for her - I surely don't. As I said, the hospice is on the next property to the Grace Lutheran Church, so I will be going there on Friday regardless.......

Thank you very much Susan...it's been great getting updates on her well being...

you're very welcome, Betty - are you off to bed now?

Oh my, I thought there was a big reason I wasn't getting a response with my usual route of communication with Carol.
I have been a bit busy and not been on this thread.
Susan
Thank you for going to see her and when you go again would you let her know that I too am thinking of her. Please let her know that she inspired me to be a better gardener and a better person. We thoroughly enjoyed her staying with us when she came to Edmonton and her furries were always very well behaved. She is so giving with all the groups she belongs to. We had decided to get together in July as I had planed to drive to Calgary then but that will not work out by the sounds of things. I too wish her peace.
Ann

Thank you, Ann - sorry I hadn't known who all to contact. It's been such a quick turn-around for Carol and kind of stunned us all.........
Maybe I should start a new thread......... so people who love her will know what's happening for her.
I may go again tomorrow - always phone the Hospice to see how she's doing first. On Friday they told me that they weren't sure she'd last that night, and here it is Sunday.......
She's really gone down in the past couple of weeks, and as Joannabanana said - she fell, and got admitted to the Hospice. Apparently it was the one of many falls she'd had according to the nurse......
I was pleased/surprised when she rolled over from facing the wall to facing into the room where we could see her (Wilma & I).

A rainy Monday morning, seems the Robins like it that way.

Susan, another thank you for carrying our thoughts and prayers to Carol for us. You and Joanne have been so kind.
I agree, a thread devoted to Carol would be so nice ..

AltaAnn .. I can imagine your surprise finding out about Carol's condition .. just know that we were all basically 'caught' with those feelings over the past few days .. I know you have a closer tie to Carol than some of us, and, it's so hard to lose a friend.

Take care everyone

~M~

Can't believe that I didn't get to DG at all yesterday. Needless to say, this was an important stop this morning now that I'm getting back to normal activities. Definitely will stop by to say "Hello" if she's still with us on Friday.

Joannabanana has linked to this thread for info on Carol - Thank You Joanne!
It's a better way to do it than to create a new thread.

ViAnn - let's hope you can visit Carol on Friday - I know that would make her day

Thank you so much for sharing my message wit Carol, Susan. I am known as Theresa to Carol. I am hoping to see her Friday when I get home. Ann, if you have time to meet it would be a pleasure. Theresa

Theresa, I did tell Carol your name when she first thought I was going to say ViolaAnn, and told her it was Theresa who sent the message.
I pray with all my heart that she will still be here on Friday so we can all see her.
Edm Ann.......... I'm taking your message to Carol this morning, as I'm going right now.

Ok Everyone
I'm heading to Calgary This minute and will take your wishes with me.
Hospice knows I'm coming and said Carol is still with us.
Ann

Yes Ann - I just got home from visiting Carol - So glad you're coming to visit her!!

I saw Wilma at the Hospice, and she said Carol wants there to be a Garden Party at her home, for one last time.
Calgary Hort is arranging it, and everyone on her Contact List in Email is going to be invited. There is no set date yet, but as I'd lost Carol's email when my computer got replaced earlier this year, I wasn't sure if she still had my email. I gave it to Wilma.
Carol enjoyed the messages I gave from ViolaAnn, and ABAnn.

I'm so pleased I got to see Wilma again, and confirm my contact info for the Garden Party.
Also, someone (not Wilma) stayed with Carol all night, so there's always someone with her in case she passes, and won't "go alone". The person just sits quietly with her, and that's all Carol needs sometimes - the assurance that she's not alone. I gather that's why she "welcomes visitors" as the nurse told me the other day.

This message was edited Jun 18, 2012 7:03 PM

This message was edited Jun 19, 2012 8:19 PM

Susan - let's hope that the knowledge I'm coming out to Calgary will keep her going awhile longer.

And thank you for the guidelines. I'm not very good at visiting terminally ill patients - haven't done much of it, though I wish I'd known my back fence neighbour of over 30 years was really ill this past winter (she didn't even tell her adult daughter who lives in Victoria). I don't think I'd have made those particular faux pas, but one never knows, so reminders are never out of place.

Theresa, I'd LOVE to meet you, but I can't really say for sure. My time will not be my own. We will be at the Delta Bow Valley with some extended family, including DH's cousin from Brussels and the service is at 11 on Friday at Grace Lutheran. Likely an Internment of ashes somewhere and DH may want to visit the cemetery where is parents' ashes are. I'll talk to DH when he gets home this evening - he's been in Portland , OR since last Wednesday at a conference of the American Historical Society of Germans From Russia and while there also visiting his 96 yr-old aunt - elder sister of the aunt who passed away.

sorry ViolaAnn, didn't mean to sound harsh - I was really venting because I am so cautious around those that are ill or aged - always have been. I never want to forget that first of all they're humans with all the feelings involved, Then secondly, they're ill. I've seen the pain in a terminally ill person's eyes when they feel "overlooked" by those talking about them, rather than to them. It's tempting, when there are 2 visitors, and the ill person is not up to much conversation to walk that thin line between expecting them to join in the conversation (they're too weak to, likely) and monopolizing the conversation / excluding them.
My reading notes of love and care from those here solicited no expected response - she listened. And so I didn't feel it was tiring her, just giving her pleasure.

I truly hope your coming to Calgary is something she's able to hang on for - I wouldn't be a bit surprised if it is.....
I wish I'd been able to tell Carol that ABAnn was coming too, but she'll be able to see her, and the Hospice will likely pass on the message to her :-) I'm Really pleased that ABAnn is coming!!

ViolaAnn - Is the 96 yo aunt fully aware her sister has passed, and will she be coming to the memorial?

Susan - I didn't think you sounded harsh at all. Those reminders need to be said. And it's particularly valuable for people like me who don't have a lot of experience in that capacity.

The 96 yr-old aunt is fully aware and doing quite well (those increasing hard of hearing with no hearing aids), but after a fall last summer in which she shattered an elbow - which might have been caused by a tiny stroke, she decided not to live by herself any longer. She also decided to stop traveling. For years, she came to Vancouver regularly because she could travel better than Aunt Esther (and could likely afford it better too).

We saw her last year at Christmas time and she was doing well, though she now uses a walker much of the time as a precaution. I think if she wanted to, she could still travel, but there's no way she would stoop to asking for a wheelchair in the airports.

BTW, what is the museum at which Carol volunteered? I might suggest it to DH as an interesting place to go.

Ann, hope this is the correct !

http://www.lougheedhouse.com/

This message was edited Jun 18, 2012 2:54 PM

That's the correct Lougheed House, Betty.
I never saw any flowers from them at the Hospice. I wonder if they know........? I'll call them to make sure

Susan,

I know your heart is in the right place, but you need to back off a bit with Carol's affairs. She is very well taken care of and has many close friends around her. There are many people visiting her, people that she has known for years & years. This sudden drastic change in health was unexpected even for Carol. She had called me to help with her baskets & work on her roses only 2 weeks ago. Shoot, the Saturday before she went into the hospice, she ask me to move a rose and plant up some recent perennial purchases. What I'm trying to say, is that there is a huge amount of people that would like to visit since the last 2 weeks.

It is awesome that you spent extra time reading & just sitting, but please have some extra appreciation for all her close friends. Everyone is trying to have a visit with her, and there are only so many visiting minutes in a day.

You don't need to worry about the Lougheed House, of course they know.

This message was edited Jun 18, 2012 4:59 PM

Just checking in and am so happy to read that ABAnn will be visiting Carol.
Most of you know I am a Hospice nurse (retired and now a Hospice volunteer) Everyone wants to do so much .. you should always check with the staff . Sometimes 'clients' just haven't the strength to express their wishes. The one sense that becomes quite acute in the terminal stages is hearing .. muted sounds are best.
As always, my thoughts and prayers are with Carol. She certainly is being well cared for.

Take care all

~M~

yes, I know Lougheed house knows.
As for her affairs, I know those people who have known her for years are capably handling everything.
All I wanted to do was visit her, and let others here know what's up (cuz they asked).
When I go and there's no one there, I sit quietly and only read her notes that people have asked me to pass on. Takes maybe 1/2 minute.
btw - I asked the Hospice staff several different ways about visiting "good times" because I didn't want to "collide" with others who wanted to see her, and they told me she said if anyone calls, she's welcoming visitors.
I will respect her close friends, and leave them the time to visit her.

This message was edited Jun 18, 2012 5:22 PM

I am from the Peony group. Very sorry to hear about Carol. 'FancyVan'. Please pass my thanks to the many people that are taking care of Carol and helping her furries. If there will be memorials after she has gone to the Great Garden please let me know as I would like to contribute in her memory, peonies or otherwise.

Let her know I am thinking of her.

What is your name ah3815?

Alana Holste, live in Kansas City, Missouri. I am an active peony collector and have enjoyed Carol's pictures and comments since I joined Daves Garden. I think she only knows me from my signon name.

Ok, we will get the message to her. Her collection of peonys look awesome this year. Lots of buds and with such a big collection there are many that bloom at different times.

Joanna - I'm not sure that you know why Lougheed house was being discussed. I asked about it because I had though I might like to visit and since I will be in Calgary for DH's Aunt's memorial on Friday and still there most of Saturday, I thought I might actually get a chance to visit, but I couldn't remember what is was called.

Since the memorial service is at the church next to the Hospice, I will try to see Carol if she is up to it.

(Vi)Ann

Ann,

Yes, I seen why it was brought up, and yes, it is a great place to visit with a lot of interesting history + beautiful gardens. It would be awesome if you are able to see Carol on Friday. She will really enjoy that. Have a safe trip.

Joanne

"People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don't need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there."
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

Smiling here as my one lonesome deep pink Peony has a gorgeous bloom on it, and many more to follow ^_^
Think of Carol each time I look at it, and, if I wasn't such a 'weenie' re ANTS in the house, I'd bring in a boquet .. but, weenie I am LoL

Carol must be so comforted by the response of her friends and neighbours .. a good feeling to have at life's end.

More rain on the way to us .. so NOT needed .. hope those of you in the east can handle the oppressive heat coming your way.

Say .. way back up there in the thread .. there was mention that a seperate thread 'for Carol/about Carol' was going to evolve .. have I missed it ?

~M~

no, you didn't miss it, Marilyn - Joanne put a link to here, as a separate thread, and called it "FancyVan and her Shelties". It's simply a link to here, and that's a better way to do it than to copy paste certain parts of the conversation.

Good Morning folks
Had the opportunity to drive to Calgary yesterday and visit with Carol. She is very frail and looked very small in the bed. For the most part she was calm and would open her eyes on occasion and I felt that she recognized me. Wilma said she knows just too weak to respond. Talked very quietly letting her know how she had inspired me with different things she has done and how that has influenced my life. Let her know that the baby robins were falling from the trees, she and I had a thing about that when she stayed at my place. And how getting to know her dogs instilled a love for Shelties with my daughter. But mostly I just sat and held her hand, she held mine back. Her breathing is labored and she is resting a lot but when Carol opened her eyes they were bright.

Got to meet Wilma who is very wonderful! I thanked her for being with Carol , they are ensuring she is not alone.


Susan , sorry I missed your number, Just got up from work and went. Huggs from here ((( )))
Alberta Ann

Carol has passed away last night. So glad that Susan and Ann visited her at the Hospice.

I'm glad you got to see Carol - that's the one thing I neglected to mention - she's got very bright and aware eyes. She knows exactly what's going on.
Did you head right back home to Edmonton after seeing her? wow - that's an 8-hour round trip!
You're right - Wilma is wonderful (as are her other friends here) for looking after her. The Hospice seems like a very caring, open place, and Carol is in the best of care.

If I were to get a dog (unlikely) but I know it would be a Sheltie. A neighbour of mine has one, and it's a beautiful brown merle. These aren't a usual colour, but brown it is!

oh.......... cross-posted... Thank you for posting, Joanne. She's out of pain and in a better place, with her Fancy.
Will there be a memorial.

HESITATED opening this thread this morning!!

There are no words, world is minus and earthly angel this morning..

Hugs to all of you, know she was special to each of you

I'm so sorry to hear of Carol's passing. We often chatted about our dogs...(I have a veggie garden eating sheltie too)
I'm sure she's now with her lovely Fancy and they are enjoying a fantastic reunion.


Here's her Memory Garden Thread if anyone wants to post their thoughts: http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/1265912/

When someone gets the details on the service, let me know and I'll add those to the first post. If there is an on-line guest book, I'll place the link for that as well.