Apropos of Nothing v.13

Portland, a marvellous idea - especially if you can find 'the right' people, I think that is the tough part. I've got the farm, the land, and have always thought that I would some day decamp up to the 'shed' (at some point to be rebuild as a studio) and offer the house to a 'younger' friend/family/nephew and let them run all except the vegetable beds. But I think I like the idea of a group of 'like mindeds' better.

And I also like mashed potatoes - do you ever make it with celeriac? Yum yum. But then I will also go along with jacket (baked), too. Or chips, thick or thin! Dauphinois, early spring jersy royals with mint and butter, left overs browned in a pan with eggs - okay, I like potatoes. And yes, I grow them above ground too, in big buckets.

This message was edited May 23, 2010 2:25 PM

Judi, your idea is good, but I'm not crazy about hanging out with old people - lol!!!

My dad had macular degeneration, but the stupid DMV let him renew his license! So our next alternative (bless my brother's heart) was to disable his car and make it impossible for him to get to his truck in the garage. A few days before he died, he somehow managed to move all the stuff we had piled up in front of the truck (keep in mind he was frail as well as almost blind) and got it out. He said he and my mom had gone to a luncheon for the retirees from his company. He said they got there late and someone gave them a hard-boiled egg. We have no idea where he went, but think probably to the last place he worked - a warehouse about 10 miles from his home. The truck was covered in mud. And our mom's walker was in the front seat. Keep in mind she had died 5 months earlier. To this day it makes me cry - I feel like they went on their "last ride" together that night. I have his truck now and love driving it.

Sorry everyone's had bad weather - it did rain here during the night, but only one little shower yesterday.

Carol, what a sad but beautiful story.

Judi, I like your idea as well. We kind of live the "commune" lifestyle now with our family, and it has been a wonderful experience. It is nice to have help when you need help and have solitude when you need solitude. It was one of the things that allowed Grandma to stay independent until she passed. You do have to have the right people though...

I have so much empathy for the elderly when they have to give up driving. It really is giving up a lot of freedom, especially if you don't have access to public transportation. On the other hand, as many of the stories told show... the time comes when it is a necessity. I run a collision repair shop, and as you can well imagine, I have several sweet old folks as repeat customers. I have also seen several actually break down and cry when the come to pick up their repaired vehicle with a family member because they are no longer allowed to drive it home. I just delivered a Mazda last week that a nice 81 year old lady had driven through the window of a Noodle House. She said that the first thing that she was going to do was to bring a boquet of flowers to the owners of the Noodle House... she said that they were so very nice to her, especially as "I was rude enough to use the window rather than the door".

Carole, your story brought a tear to my eye.. very sweet in a very sad way.

Carol that is a sweet story. It must be nice to have his truck and to think of the two of the two of them going out together. A real love story.

Laurie I like groups of people that might not necessarily "like-minded" about everything, as long as the basics are covered. If the group agrees about sharing some responsibilities and has the same philosophy for what the communal living goal is, I don't care about their personal views about politics, religion, plant choices, or whatever. In fact, I like diversity in ideas and people.

Laurie have you read McEwan's Solar? The part about the potato chips is wonderful. What an amazing author Ian is - I have a crush on him. I fall in love with mens' brains. OK, I like the other bits, too, but they are useless without the brains.

Murmur LOL.

We crossed Julie - it sounds like your family has a great situation. I would love to have my parents closer. The ideal is to have your privacy and alone time, but have the others there when you want company. I would love to have a situation where my grandchildren could run across the garden to my kitchen for cookies.

The story of the Mazda lady and the noodle house made me laugh out loud. Somehow the fact that it was a noodle house is funny. Sweet little lady!

I would love to have a large piece of land where my kids could have their own property near mine if they wanted it. it was my dad's dream that the family live like that and I always liked the idea, but my mother didn't. I could live on shared land with people who are not my family, probably, but I don't like the idea of sharing my house with other people. That's a little too close for comfort for me.
I think I'll have to live somewhere with less traffic so I can drive longer. It's such a part of our identity in this country.

Oh, Portland I'm so glad you said it: I laughed too, first about the hard boiled egg and then the Noodle house - why does food always come into it? My father is fretting because he doesn't think he can use dial-a-ride just because he wants to go out for breakfast (actually he can, he just has to think about it more than 15 minutes ahead)! But I do also understand about the difficulties of giving up driving. But then, again, why do you think I have taken up walking marathons - this country is small enough! And I can get almost anywhere in London in under 10!

My husband gave up driving 10 years ago - decided he just didn't have the thinking space for driving - okay, isn't it nice that you just get to resign from a task: I don't want to use up the thinking space for doing laundry, although it is such a small corner it is hard to consider that is really needed space right now.

I think I am a bit less tolerant of politics than you are - especially since we now have a coalition government: the Lib. Dems (left wing, new socialists) joined with the Conservatives to remove Labour's leader (Gordon Brown) - I don't mind Gordon Brown going, but the coalition just does not feel right. Oops, this is politics, it might get deleted.

Oh well, time to get packed up and decamp to town. Work work tomorrow.

Laurie I think DG is more tolerant of British politics than ours. Actually, so am I!

I have a friend who never worked outside the home, and one day announced that she was retiring. Her family said from what and she said cooking, cleaning, laundry, and all the crap I do around here. If other people can retire, I can, too!

Pix, the commune will have individual little houses, and you can hibernate for days if you'd like. Private back garden, public in front. You want to read in the sun and talk to no one - back yard. You want to chat - front yard or communal spaces. So many options! I think the group has to be just the right size, but I'm not sure what that would be. Living communally with my family would mean living in a small town!

For awhile after my FIL died, my MIL lived alone, until she moved in with one of her daughters. She did drive, but she lived in a neighborhood that I look on as an island and she only had to make right turns. Her bank, grocery store, and post office were on this 'island' also. This made it easy for her. I think they regretted moving halfway between their kids, cuz nobody lived close. We were the closest at 6 hours. Anyway...

My dad referred to not driving anymore as 'losing his manhood'. He said I was worried about 'my' car, but I told him it was everyone else's car I was worried about..

I am hoping to travel around the country visiting with the kids or DGers and moving on before the welcome mat gets yanked out from under me. ^_^.

Arpropos of nothing, here is an update on the babies.

AWWWWW!!!

Pix - i love their choice of landscaping!

Hi, still up in Seattle-DH came with me this week and stayed with his folks while I've been with Mom, so we could also see his cousin before he moves far away for a new job. Mom's doing well, so today we can play a little.

I'm just skimming through, don't have a lot of time before we need to get on with things today.DH is telling me to hurry up.

Summer, oh, I'm so bummed I didn't see your offer earlier. When do you go back to work?

Judi, isn't that cohousing? There are a number of those communities around, they're each a bit different. It's a really interesting concept. I helped a coworker move into one once and her new home was just beautiful, very livable, plus nice community space with a guest room, and garden areas. And, I know someone else whose folks did just that, built a whole complex for themselves along with their friends. I think they were all retired professors. Definitely would have to be the right group of people, though.

My grandmother decided to quit driving when she drove the car through the back of the garage while her kids were still in it. She had to take the bus or be driven everywhere for the next 60 years, give or take-and mostly it was be driven. But it worked for her.....

I'm monitoring my Mom's driving by letting her drive sometimes when we go do stuff. So far, so good-a bit slow, but not excessively so, and still safely. She self-limits a lot-won't drive on the freeway and sticks to her comfort zones (Seattle, north end, basically). She's driving a little less than 5k a year. I think it will be a battle when it gets to that point with her, unless she's just really sick. I don't know what we'll do if/when she gets to that point. I just hope it won't be for a long time yet.
Carole, oh, what a poignant story.

Lol Judi, love your comment about men-I so totally get it.

Gotta go, DH is getting insistent now.. :)

oh, wow, so many posts after I started writing.. and no time to read them... :(

This message was edited May 23, 2010 9:57 AM

Great stories all. I have for years, wanted a large home where all of my sisters and whoever else could all live together. Although I'm kind of a loner, I still like it when all my people are around. I like the idea of single little cottages with a large kitchen and lounge area, large greenhouse and gardens. I'd like an english cottage and garden for myself and a mini-cooper to drive. I like the area around Redlands CA. It's within a days drive of everything around here.

Susy bee, I'm off till Wednesday. Drive fast & you can make it!

I could do a commune if I set all the rules about lawns (prohibited), noise, leaf blowers, target practice, honking, composting, recycling & pesticide use. Otherwise, a large island for which I also own the lake & half-mile in from the entire shoreline would work well for.

That sounds nice and doable.

Dean has been working on my room in the attic and is almost done. He has the door knob to do and then the railing around the stairs yet to finish. I will miss his presense here doing things. I used to love following my DF around helping and DH also.

Back toward the door. The room is 11' wide and 17' long.

And from the outside. Can't wait to move in and get it all cleaned up again.

This message was edited May 23, 2010 1:51 PM

Must share this youtube video. So cute!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaAVZ2yXDBo

That is cute.

The new room looks great Willow. Oh how we all would love to have extra space! :)

This message was edited May 24, 2010 12:30 AM

ooh, an entire new room! Just think of the possibilities!

Must share this bit of joy -- my younger son just landed a real job as a fulltime landscape designer! He graduated from WSU last spring with a degree in landscape architecture, did some design/installs over the summer, moved back home in the fall, and has been job searching since (well, perhaps not so much during the winter when he was a 'liftie' up at Stevens Pass), while working very part-time (1-2 days/week) for a landscape architect he interned for up in Mount Vernon. Starting today, he will be working at Classic Nursery & Landscape Co. in Redmond. I've never been to their nursery (don't venture to the eastside too often), but will likely become a regular. Sam will work out of their main office which is separate from the nursery, doing mostly residential design work. Very proud mama.

Wonderful for your son, Bonehead! Oops I see lots more serious acquisition of plants in your future.

OK. Bear with me for another rant. The *!***!@ mouse or mice got my corn seeds again. I had them high up on a rack in the greenhouse but that didn't deter them. I leave the greenhouse doors open now to help harden off the stuff I have overwintered there. Julie helped with with the third planting and the flats are now occupying my kitchen counters. Unfortunately they may not even be safe there. I have not had such a serious mouse problem here in the 14 years I have lived here. Sure wish my shorthairs would allow cats around.

I agree PNW, us moms must do what we can to support our children -- and if buying plants is it, who am I to argue.

Deb, that is wonderful news! So many graduates cannot find any jobs, much less a job in their chosen field. I am so happy for your son, and for you! (And for the plants!)

Sharon, maybe your dogs could learn to love a kitten?

Kitties are always best in pairs, so fun to watch them play.

WOOHOO on the prospects for future plant acquisitions, oh and that your son got a permanent job!! After all, we MUST have our priorities in order. ^_^

D@^%* mice!

Bonehead I also have a son named Sam. I love that name! Congrats to him! Landscape architecture is a wonderful profession. At HOK we had a large group of landscape archs and always involved them in the design process from the very beginning of our projects. Often their work with healing gardens became one of the major concepts in a project.

My very-soon-to-be son-in-law (that's a lot of dashes) has been teaching for two years and just found out that he and a bunch of other teachers do not have jobs next year. It is quite sad and he is upset. The parents of his students have written letters in protest, but to no avail. He's a much requested teacher but I guess that doesn't count. He wants to go back to school for a PhD but my daughter is in grad school so that will have to wait. So many people are in these terrible predicaments.

Sharon, having a cat is no guarantee! I have two, and they are old and not very good hunters. You need an energetic young feline that is hungry!

Willow what a nice new room. What are you going to use it for?

Bonehead, congrats to your sons on the job! He must be excited.

We're back from graduation activities. It was barely sprinkling when the ceremony started. It stopped at just about the first words, was sunny the entire ceremony, and started pouring as we walked out! What timing. The afternoon ceremony for the grads getting their masters was not as lucky!

We went out to lunch and then Jim, Jeff, and I helped Tim clean out his 6-person dorm apartment. He was the last one out and got stuck with all the cleaning! Not to mention the expense of cleaning supplies. We learned one of his roommates had been arrested and expelled from school for threatening is gf with a knife! Luckily Tim was not present when it happened, altho he was questioned later about the relationship between the roommie and gf. The roomie had left his weights on the living room windowsill and caused huge rust marks. The person who came to check Tim out said she would make sure the arrested roomie got billed and also that since Tim had been stuck with all the cleaning, that any extra charges would be divided among the other 5 kids and not Tim. So that was a relief! But a drag to spend Saturday afternoon cleaning!

The rest of the grad weekend was much fun. We really enjoyed Jeff's gf's parents. We stayed at McMenamin's, so lots of good music and food.

Judi, I've always loved the idea of a community living arrangement, esp in the elder years. The kitchen will have an Aga, right? I have always wanted to live in a family sort of deal like Sharon and Julie. My mother-in-law always said the same thing. We wanted to be like the Kennedys and have a family compound. lol

I think my mom needs to stop driving. She is a regular leadfoot (I always predicted she would die in a car accident), even past the schools. I won't let her drive, but my sister (who lives with my mom) lets my mom drive her kids. I think she's nuts. I didn't know that I could fill out an anonymous form. Good to know! My sister would be mad because then my mom couldn't help out driving her kids, altho she needs that way less now that the kids are in school. And sis works for a school, too, so schedules are similar. She's a counselor and can get away easily when needed. Maybe next time I'm home I'll let my mom drive me somewhere (yikes!) and see if I think I need to fill out that form. My sister is a horrid driver (leadfoot as well). Can I fill out a form for her as well?!?! Her husband is a leadfoot as well. I hate riding with any of them and refuse to let any of my kids ride with them.

Okay, enough of that. It's nice out today, so I'll be out in the garden if anyone needs me.

BH - Classic is 10 minutes away from me. I'm a regular there. Will your son be working at the store on Avondale road or will be be headquartered elsewhere?

Not only a job for Sam, but a GOOD job! That is so great. Maybe we'll get to proud-momma pix of his designs?

Congrats BH on your son's job!!!

On the other hand, Judi, sorry to hear about your future SIL's not-good job problems. Something else will come along, or some new opportunity will turn up. :) I know someone who turned a teaching degree into a job in corporate training....it's at least a living wage sort of thing to do, maybe even in a co with tuition benefits?

Gwen, sounds like a delightful weekend-except for the cleaning part, anyway. :)

Patricia, your space is looking great! Wish I had that much space as a "playroom" ;)

Sharon, so sorry about the mice. Wish I had some good ideas for you. :(

Summer, how about I head your way for the day tomorrow? I don't want to sleep anywhere but in my own bed for a little while. :) My back is kinked up from days on various guest beds and sitting in cars and horrible chairs. I'll send you an email later on?

Sue, that would be great. But you should plan to stay the night, because guests get the master suite with the brand-new memory foam mattress. King size. You will like it. Your back will like it.

Gwen, I'm sitting here chortling away at your stream of consciousness.

good night everyone, I'm absolutely worn out today - full on from early morning. You know how 3 year olds just persistently ask "whhhyyyyyyyy?" - I feel like I have had that all day long today.

Sleep well when the clock gets to nighttime.

Laurie, when are you coming to visit us? (I know, you're asleep right now.)

I just got a graduation announcement from a relative named Amy Karst that was postmarked the 21st for a ceremony that was held on the 22nd. The Karsts would be my Aunt Connie's family on my dad's side, but I'm drawing a total blank as to whose kid Amy might be. My cousin Pandora is dedicatedly childless, her brother Cameron is brain-damaged, and I'm pretty sure that Justin is too young to have an 18-year-old. Did Cameron have a kid before his accident? Did Justin's wife have kids before they married?

WHO IS AMY KARST?!

Grandma Ruth had 9 kids by 3 fathers and I never did get it all straight, or who was my real grandfather & who was Dad's stepfather before both Grandpas succumbed to alcoholism. It's amazing that all 9 kids are still alive into their 60s & 70s, and that only one of them ended up in prison for a spell. But their names are all things like Jug & Babe, and one of my uncles I only knew as "Honey," and have no idea what their real names are. Maybe Pandy can fill me in -- she actually grew up with all of them & said that there was always some uncle banned from the bar & restaurant she worked at. One of which took a wrong turn down the railroad tracks while walking home late one winter night & froze to death. Hmmm ... did he have a kid named Amy?

Gwen it sounds as though you had a nice graduation day. So glad it didn't get rained out. Congratulations to your son!

The anonymous form I filled out in regards to my mother's erratic driving was a California form but maybe they have a similar thing in Washington.

I had a dream about the communal living thing last night. There are several of these in the Portland area, but they are different in theory. The residents in those projects work at their regular jobs and the communities are not self-sustaining. Ours could easily self-sustaining. We could have a little nursery, and write a book about the story of our "commune", and maybe a cottage for an overnight guest or two that might want to experience and observe. There are lots of ways to make it self-sustaining. And it would have solar power and a grey-water system for the gardens. And chickens and a few goats to keep the meadow under control. And of course we would have an Aga! You bring yours and I'll bring mine and we'll have the best of both worlds! We could make and sell garden art. And we could have an indoor pool for exercise! Oh how the dogs would love it!

There was no sun today, but at least it stopped raining for a few hours.