Sick Of Leeches

Hopefully the "lurkers" have gone into hiding feeling ashamed of themselves....if anyone has behaved badly they must be feeling at least a tiny bit embarrassed, but perhaps, by their nature they don't.

Here in Ireland this kind of person is called "cute"....it means clever at manipulating situations for their own benefit...it's an insult NOT a compliment.

Hopefully the "cute DGers" will *bleep* off the site
Sue

PS...How does one use swear words on DG
...Its not in "trading etiquitte"...I know cause I read it !!!

Sue in the US cute means , good looking , nice etc. so they have no idea what you have said but I hope the ones who don't follow thru with their trades/etc read and understand this.

Lavina

Willow, ones doesn't use swear words, trust me.... it'd be the last word we heard from you! lol

How does a plastic gnome use ebay? i thought you needed a credit card! Have they got there own bank?

I had a mad splurge on sending and doing trades in the autumn but once spring is here my spare time is spent outside, So no trades for me till then really.

I reckon people don't realise there being rude... i'd like to think i have traded fairly and generously but there is allways someone that will think otherwise..... but if they do they have said nothing so i can't rectify the problem... if they did i would sort anything out ASAP.

Mike

Mike you are wonderful-can I have some more Cinnamon red caster beans? LOL

Lavina

Flatery gets you everywhere.... well normally it would... But this time i don't have any...

I have had a disaster with alot of plants this year... due to a cold spell... scarid fly ... and the over use of a pesticide to try and kill them off......(not that it worked) i'm now on biological controls to slow them down..

I have some growing so hopefully later in the year they will have flowered... by this time last year they where nearly 6ft so far this year the biggest is less than 1ft !!!

I have 4 that are looking great. I hope to get lots of seeds from them. They are about 2 feet but its my fault cause I started them late. Saw a 3 gallon bucket at a nursey in Georgia that was about 3 foot high and it was selling for $35.wow I never thought it would go for that much.
I understand the plant killing I sprayed trying to kill wisteria on the porch rails year before last and didn't think about the wind and killed everything except some sedum. It died but put back out. This year the heat went off in the basement and froze all my stuff.

Lavina

I hate loosing stuff i worked so hard to get in the first place.... when accidents happen it allways takes the hard to get stuff or the plants i only have 1 off!

Mike

I am one of the lucky recipients of dale_a_gardeners kindness...last year I posted a want for white ipomoea carnea seeds.. (on seed trading forum). not really expecting to find them...until dale came to the rescue..this man was very generous with the seeds(I did send seeds in return ..but don't know if they grew)You are a really good person dale and I would like to think you represent middle america...people like you make these forums really worthwhile...I always love to look at your pics too.Heres one of the ipomoeas ..Thanks Dale I just love it and so do the meat ants lol!

Brical, your welcome. Nice looking plant too. Generous? They are seeds after all, the plants will make more. lol

The yellow 'daisy' germinated and grew - briefly. We have so many problems with pests and disease here. I am not sure what took them. I try not to tell people that I failed, not good for my online persona.

Seed trades have never been a problem, they are inexpensive to send and I don't have to drive anywhere, the postman will pick them up. I have given away seeds more than once. Plants are another matter. Time consuming to grow, expensive to send.

For me the worst part of plant trading has been the lack of plants that are unique. I am always looking for new varieties, things that are not grown in the millions. Since I can go to the wholesaler and buy a 4" coleus for less than a dollar finding a new cultivar is a challenge.Most plants, that most members have, are bought at a nursery. In the US if you see a new color of geranium at the nursery I probably saw it at a trade show a couple of years ago and got one. I am like Mike, I order seeds from companies that the average gardener doesn't even know exists.

Plant trading is just not a very productive activity. I am going to switch my energy over to Photo Safari, trips to public gardens are a lot more fun.

Brical check this thread out> http://davesgarden.com/forums/t/739026/

Wow! I just happened on this thread and guess I should've been here earlier. I've gotta say that I have had 2 traders that disappeared on me, but others have been so fun...including Tropicanna and LavinaMae! I'd send either of them whatever I had with no problem and no expectations. They've both been quite generous as I hope they would say of me.
The one thing that happened to me on the forum that was upsetting had nothing to do with unreturned trades, it was with someone who listed lots of 'haves' but no 'wants' on their trade lists. There were several things that were interesting on the have list, so I d-mailed. I also asked what sort of trades this person was looking for. After another exchange, I took some shots in the dark and offered some suggestions for trading. At this time, the person d-mailed back that she was a grower and got requests all the time from people bascially wanting 'something for nothing'. Gotta tell you that stung and put me off trading for a while. I have never asked someone for something without offering things for trade in good faith. How would I have known that someone listing things on the tradeslist would be a grower??? I was just looking at some rain lilies for goodness sake. I wanted to mail back and tell the person that I can drive to Plant Delights any day and have my pick of rain lilies...don't mind paying for what I want. Instead I politely excused myself for wasting her time. Still don't think that I was in the wrong. But why would someone mail back or post on the list if they didn't intend to trade? Is there something I'm missing here?
Oh, gee! I'm ususally so much fun and now I'm on MY soapbox! Right Kara?
Bev

Bev,I'vehad that happen too...disapearing traders...but I think the ones like dale have more than made up for the others...there are so many good people on these forums ..they make up for the rest.cheers

Bev,

Looks like you have run across a person with the 'S'not for me' factor. I usually reply with a 'Thank you for your time, Princess'.

I have seen several that are simply bragging. If you don't want to trade, why have a trade list?

I have been tempted to start a thread about some of the strange things that people have said to me while chatting. I won't, don't want to be confronted with my own goofy statements.

Cyberspace is a good place to practice our social skills.

eye candy from my garden>

Go on dale start a goofy thread! lol Sure i could make it to the top of the list!

Mike

I think a 'goofy thread' would be a lot of fun. After all, everyone here at Dave's has a good sense of humour.............don't they?

Dale that moth is beautiful, how big was it? I'm trying to judge it's size from the leaves in the picture, but that's not easy :(

Bev, so sorry to hear about your 'something for nothing' experience. Enough to have put you off trading for good. Good grief! Why advertise that you have plants to trade if you don't also have a 'wish list'. That's just inviting problems IMO

I also think Mike should be at the top of the goofy thread, LOL (wink, wink)

Terri

Terri,

The small hibcus leaf on the left, over the wing, is about 1" (2.5cm), wing tip to wing tip about 12-15cm. Had not seen that kind before, a nocturnal moth. No surprise there, since I don't go out at night. I have very poor night vision. She was hiding out in the front flowerbed and was disturbed when I was hand watering.

more eye candy>

Goodness, Dale. I so love your eye candy. All the fun, and none of the calories;-)
And thanks for the comments, folks. I suppose that I feel better having ranted 'out loud'. I'm very happy that I got over it, and continued to trade. I've met some great people this way, and consider it worth it to have gotten burned a couple of times. It's certainly not a profit game for me. I'm having a great time and getting to know some fantastic people from all over!
I used to have what I dubbed 'trowel tours' with a couple of ladies close by, but our habits and hours have changed so we've lost touch. This is the same type of thing, right?
Keep sending the candy, Dale. I used to have to buy magazines to satisfy my 'sweet tooth':->>>
Bev

Nice pics, Dale!I honestly can't think of many dumb things other people have said on forums, but I can sure recall a few dumb comments I've made..lol!

And Bev, it's so hard to imagine someone not being nice to you, you really are that rare type of trader that sends nice plants, and has a great sense of humor. So if you feel refreshed, it's alright to get on your soap box every once in awhile!

Wow Dale!! That's ***some*** plant!! What is it?? It's amazing!
Thanks for the info on the beautiful moth, I doubt I'll ever see one that big in my garden, although mykitten once caught what I believe must have been a monster moth. Sadly, she'd been playing with it for a long time before I grabbed her away from the poor, wingless remains. I still feel bad about that 20 years later :o( But it was proof that we do have a few large moths in UK.
Keep posting that eye-candy, and thanks!!

Terri

Thanks, Kara!
And BTW, I love your white butterfly ginger. It's coming up like crazy and making me very happy!
I DO feel refreshed, and am now officially off the soapbox! See, Westo...it really was productive after all;-)
Bev

westocast73, you are so right!! I recently became a member and did a few trades and I do send a healthy mailing of plants or bulbs since I don't do well with seeds. I have gotten some real bad trades that makes me wondered ........why bother?
Don't send what you would not like to receive and don't be greedy!!

I haven't had the greedy experiences that some of you have been through. I tend to only be able to keep up with the fairly common stuff as far as seeds go. I'm not brave enough to try to ship plants or bulbs yet. I have a big wishlist but it is mainly for my own reference and truly don't expect anyone here to ante up:) I'll spontaneously offer some seeds for a trade or get into a swap but I'm nervous about just posting a Have List and being bogged down in requests.

I've seen where some of the newer posters with want a rather exotic or rare plant/seed/cutting and only have cosmos and marigold seeds for trades. I've gotten together with a couple of members and combined our orders from a couple of seed companies like Chiltern and Fedco. We each got some we individually had wanted and shared some other stuff that we both were interested in. I hope I haven't been guilty of being greedy here in the trading area and will always keep that in mind if a trade opportunity comes up.

dmac085, that is a splendid way of sharing. I haven't been at the site long enough to fit into a group as yet. When I do trade and get seeds in return, I usually asked the senders not to send me too many seeds since I only need enough to get a few live plants from the trade and I asked only for the seeds that I would like to grow.

well, well, lol.....been awhile since I've looked at this thread.

It's been a good year for trading, overall, but honestly the only problems I've had were with people that contacted me for plants (instead of the other way around) not returning their end of the deal. But I still think people should be able to feel comfortable posting a have list as long as they are also comfortable saying no sometimes to folks. At least list your wants, kinda saves everyone the time of having to repeat themselves :)

The funny part about all this is I'm a trader for a living. Stock trader. LOL. A few things that have been said apply to the stock. LOL.

Some of you guys need to lighten up a bit.

WOW, I sure hope I never made anyone feel like this!

Mike which Eryngium is sea holly, I have planum http://www.hobbyodlaren.com/erplanum.html and bourgati http://www.hobbyodlaren.com/eryngi.html but since I´ve move to a bigger garden last autumn only a baby plant of them both, but next autumn/fall I perhaps got seeds from them.

I never ask for seeds, without have not to share, always looks on others wantlist first
~Sylvia

Core, I'm a bit curious on the connection between plant and stock trading....and I'll try to lighten up a bit (lol).

I can sympathize with you..

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone.





This message was edited May 4, 2008 10:57 PM

Hi,
I just wanted to add that after I see that someone has something to offer in the seed exchange that I would like, the FIRST place I go to is their WANT list. I want to make sure that I have something they would like before I take a tour of their HAVE list. It is kind of self preservation also, because I hate to drool over seeds that I am looking for only to realize I have nothing that member wants, lol! On top of that, I try to make a list of what I have to offer that they would like, and what I would like, to send to the member in the first email. To me, that shows that I am truly interested and a good trader. At times I do email a member even if I don't think I have anything to trade that they are looking for and list some things I don't have on my HAVE list. Those I keep for "special" trades. I have only been a member here since December, but my Mama taught me to say "please and thank you". Sooooooooo, thank you to all of you that represent the great traders.
Kathy from Ohio U.S.A.

Gotta say, I got a lot of chuckles from this thread. I stumbled across it looking for a Trading Primer, because I'm a total newbie to the whole trading deal, and I don't want to be one of those greedy people, or send too little and then get a huge pack and feel like a heel. Maybe I'll just watch and learn a while longer before I try it. . .too intimidating, and I do hate to feel like I've disappointed someone. Guess I need to learn more about how much to send, how to pack it, etc. before I try it.

Anyway, thanks for all the laughs! Got a kick out of all the flirting and bashing. . .

So sorry but I need to vent somewhere and I think this is the perfect place. I am waiting for admin to remove a positive feedback that I left for a trader. It's only been about 24 hours and admin have not gotten back to me yet. I would be surprise if they did.

So, this new member contacted me about rose cuttings and said that she has so and so that I wanted and wanted to know if I wanted to trade her these other rose cuttings. Well, I had just gotten those rose cuttings in another trade, so I didn't need them, so I said no thank you. She sends me another dmail saying may be I might want to trade my knock out roses for so and so. Well, I have plenty of KO roses. Being a generous gardener I told her my mother have some KO roses too and if she wanted some, I would send her some of those too. To make this story short, I sent her the cuttings PRIORITY MAIL. She lives out in a rural area so the post office sent the package to the wrong address and she didn't get it until 4 days later. I wanted to comment that while we were communicating, after I sent my package already, she complained about another trade that was coming from Conn that was being sent regular mail and she was getting "screwed". So I get a snitty dmail from her that the rose cuttings were dead when they arrived on Thursday or Friday. Doesn't matter what I think, I told her I would send her new ones on Monday as I don't like to send cuttings toward the end of the week, sitting at the post office and all. Sent her new cuttings. She said they arrived and they were fine.

Last night, I was reading some of the thread and saw that she had posted a thread complaining that I didn't do the right thing and that I "screwed her over". I almost posted something on that thread, but I thought, well, I'm just not going to get into it. I am done trading with her. I got my trade and she got hers. To make matter worse, her priority package she sent me took 5 days to arrive and all the rose cuttings she sent me were dry, so I don't know what she is griping about...

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I know from my own experience trading with you that you are a great trading partner.
It hurts when something like this happens especially when things go wrong after you've posted the items.
(((hugs))) I'd trade with you again 'in a heartbeat' and I'm certain that goes for other DG members too... so take a deep breath and rise above this bad experience. Don't let it put you off trading, Daves is one of the best trading communities you're likely to find anywhere.
Oh, btw, weren't you getting a new puppy earlier this month? How's he doing?
Take care and chin up.
;o)
Here's a rose for you (I took this pic. yesterday)
Terri

Bless your heart Lili I have been jipped a few times but continue to go back for a 2nd dose , LOL
Some people just have stange attitudes. Hang in there .

Lavina

Thank you Terri and Lavina for your kind and encouraging words. There are many traders here that are so nice and generous that it makes up for the bad trading experience. Have a nice holidays!

Lili being from Tallapoosa, Ga. makes a person a little more patient.

Yelp a fellow Georgian just relocated to NC 38 years ago and Mom still lives in the outter limits of Tallapoosa.

Lavina

If you are patiens in a moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.

I have been swindled also in DG, it was Andy in UK, who sells Amaryllis, I send him 8 bulbs of hippeastrum and he send me nothing.

I am very angry of this, but it is no meaning to be, only hurt myself, but I can´t get ride of it. I makes me so angry.

I've been swindled 3 times now...

But that is a beautiful and unique looking amaryllis.

Lavina, I love NC. While in college, I had a boyfriend from Black Mountain, NC. His mom had a house up by Blowing Rock area. It was beautiful. I grew up in Charleston, SC, so I'm a Georgia transplant, but I've been here 25+ years now.

I am sure that the majority of DGers are good neighbours. They may be too busy that to add "countable credits" to their names. Often too busy to even make up those "Have" and "Want" lists. In fact, many DGers offer 'trades' for nothing more than an SASE!!!).

But what the heck, deadbeats exist. It's a fact of life. We can b&m over it, or we can get over it. We're not banks, so we can't ask for a Federal Seed/Plant Trade Failure Bailout. If we REALLY get cheated, I'll bet that our DG community will contribute more than enough to make up for it. All we have to do is ask.

This message was edited Nov 27, 2008 12:14 PM

I have to say I only trade for things I just want to try out. I've sent out seeds for SASE and I've also gotten seeds that way. No big deal if something goes wrong along the way. What is common to person may be exotic to someone else and if I get something very hard to get then I figure I'm way a head of the game. LOL. My only problem so far has been misnamed seeds (surprise later on) and one dead beat. Not a big deal.