Crazed Bird Destroying House - Can Anyone Help?

Steered here by Lauren, I laughed until my sides hurt (thanks Lauren!) We have tufted titmice here in droves, but thankfully none attacking the house. I do have a squirrel that likes to drop walnuts on me, but that pales in comparison.

Other than the poisoned peanut butter or well aimed small caliber rifle suggested by my DH, how about making him his "own window"? take a salvaged window frame, maybe a mirror or glass for the reflection, staple on some screen. Then tack on a handy perch or feeder well to the base to attract him, and he can have his own property to destroy. Call it garden art. A salvaged mirror with screen stapled over it might work too.

Stacy

The most annoying birdal thing I've ever had happen is the one summer a woodpecker pecked the glass in my bedroom window. His rat-a-tat-tat woke me every morning. You talk about a lone summer! I guess he could see his reflection.

Maybe you could employ a circus performer who is a flame eater/thrower...the guy who FAZOOMS flames out his mouth, and impressing even the most belligerent bull moose! Keep him on contract for a summer, you'll have the problem solved indeed, and you could probably sell tickets for the show!! LOL!

Thanks for keeping us updated I was wondering if he was gonna make a return visit.. :o)))

Loretta..

I have it Scutler: It is the still quiet voice of the Lord. What have you been ignoring that He wants you to consider. Every peck-peck-peck pick up your bible and read. Deep insights will occur. LOL I still think the boat horn will blow his feathers off. Then hang it in the tree he roosts in.

WOW! What a creative crew - boat horns, flame throwers, bible thumpers, poisoned peanut butter,
decoy windows and small arms. ROTFL ... I hope you appreciate the entertainment your situation
has created for us all.
Tam

Kinda reminds me of Wylie E. Coyote and the Road Runner..... ;)

Tammy, don't forget the voodoo doll. Bigbird with pins woohoo! (The horror...the horror...) LMBO

...... Cat?

barn cat. only the experienced will catch and kill Bill the TT.

Folks, I DO see the humor in the situation. Even at the peak of my angst when he was hammering away at the window endlessly day after day, I couldn't help but laugh at the absolute lunacy of my situation - the idea that an itsy bitsy little bird was about to take my house apart one beak full at a time, and I was apparently powerless to intervene was positively ridiculous. Not to mention all the crazy things I tried. I mean...I sprayed high pressure water on my house, "flooded" my yard, taped giant orange and black bird faces to the windows, hung "mobiles" from the tree, hit the window with everything from my hand to magazines and coats, chases him with the broom, yelled at him and talked to him so much that my neighbors must have thought me nuts...

Stacey, I like your idea of giving him his own window. But my luck, Mr TT would remain engrosed in his project and Mr Cardinal and Mr Mockingbird would commandeer the faux window for projects of their own. Soon I'd have a yard full of battling birds...Arrgh.

-----

Ok, confession time. I finally stumbled onto a way to put the fear of windows into him. That's what prompted his disappearance before. I'm surprised to see him return, but even though he comes close to the window and gazes longingly at the window, so far I haven't seen any evidence of him attacking the window. ...but after all that I've been through with him, it was pretty scarey even to see him looking at the window.

I didn't tell you about it because ... well... did I mention that wild birds have more rights than people? If I start destroying my neighbors house, I'll go to jail, and under some circumstances, he may even be allowed to shoot me. But wild birds cannot legally be shot or jailed or otherwise forcefully detered regardless of their behavior.

Do I detect post partum depression syndrome setting in? Maybe you can find a support group? Maybe Mr. T. left the whacko-gene to his offspring so the saga will continue.

This is my favorite of the thought balloon pictures you posted:

http://davesgarden.com/forums/fp.php?pid=1859590

Joseph

Oh come now, don't be shy scutler. Tell us all. All 200,000+ of us. Inquiring minds want to know ;)

Hi Joseph,

In that photo he is maybe 4" from the window. The small tree is so close I have to prune the branches off the windows. I snapped the pic through the window from inside. Glad you enjoyed it.

Now what about the prior comment gives you the impression that I'm depressed? I just thought I'd come clean about having "influenced" Mr T's behavior. That said, I could probably use about a dozen or so support groups..

Sheryl

Let's just say that I found a way to make the window fight back - in a big way.

I thought you might miss Mr. T, should he go away.

Not really. I really don't miss the daily, dawn-to-dusk sound of my house being ever so slowly deconstructed. I don't even miss spending 2/3 of my weekend chasing the bird away from the window, painting scarey faces, setting up "water torture", etc. Certainly don't miss being repeatly outsmarted by a bird. Nope, don't miss him. Am really enjoying all of the other cute little birds who frequent my yard w/o destroying anything. And if the bird that keep returning to the window recently is him, I like this new behavior much better.

Did that window hit him? I'm just having a hard time trying to figure out how the
window could fight back. Did it swing out and hit him?
Tam

Hmm... well... you could - maybe - say that. Nothing ACTUALLY hit him, but he left knowing that he "dodged a bullet" - so to speak.

I see. Thanks. Curiousity is such a difficult trait to master. Kinda like patience.
Tam

Here's what I know... scutler's psycho titmouse is still alive. Over here at our house, he probably would have long ago entered the pearly gates to titmouse heaven. I'm not saying that he wouldn't be able to dodge a bullet I aimed at him but he certainly wouldn't have been able to dodge a bullet my husband aimed at him. That titmouse would have been a dead titmouse if it had started demolition duty here. Scutler, you have the patience of a saint is about all I can say. The psycho bird is real lucky he began destroying your home and not mine.

OMG, I can't believe he came back... here's hoping for an uneventful visit from Mr. T.

Thanks for sharing, Scutler, and don't worry: your secret is safe with me ;) However, should the DOW come knocking on your door, kindly refer them to http://davesgarden.com/forums/t/548658/ (this thread), and I'm sure they'll realize the, indeed, saint-like patience you've exhibited. :)

Sarah

one of my favorites : Titmouse tea. dip one dead titmouse in boiling water and let soak until feathers fall off and then sup solution and spit it in a circular area around affected window. Take the tea bag or Titmouse and Nail it to the cedar trim by window to motivate you in how man/woman has authority over such delicate tea bags.

I love it when you get so clinical, Soferdig. Is this a play on words (Mr. T)? If so it is a good one.

Wow, sofer! I am like totally impressed with the protocol you shared above. Since you're a veterinarian, I'll be sure to share it with any friends I may have in the future who suffer at the beak of a psycho titmouse.

Some times you just have to scream. Besides I don't do birds. Except when I was at a park for lunch one day and I saw an orange thing sticking out of a ducks head. Upon closer exam I saw that it was a dart that was blown through a tube and hit him. Well I considered what to do while he sat and rested. Slowly I crawled on my belly to where he was and quickly pulled the device out of his head. He kept flying as the covey all took off so surgery was successfull. the dart was completly through his head and was 6" long. Talk about a head ache! LOL

I vote to replace Mr. Hummerbird in the banner with Mr. T, the supremo wackobird of all time.

What a hoot this thread has been, I just came across it again, I had caught it in the beginning and had forgotten to mark it WATCH so did not realize so much had happened since I last dropped in! LOL
I think I would have just opened the window, took off the screen and let him come in. Sounds like that is really all he wanted, and after he flew around and banged into the windows from the other side for a while, I think he might have lost his desire to be an "inside" bird. LOLOLOL I can just hear you reporting the damage to your insurance person... "Yes, I AM serious, a titmouse destroyed all my window screens" riiiight. LOLOL

scutler. I just discovered this thread last night and I want you to know I laughed until I cried. Please let us know of any update. BTW, you are a wonderful writer. Someone should publish this.

Wow, irmaly, THANK YOU!!! What a wonderful compliment!

In early spring of this year a group of 5 or so tufted titmice were at my feeder. One of them was different, and I just knew that one was T. The others behaved in the ususal manner, leaving the area when I approached. T stayed at the feeder even as I walked just a few feet away. After eating, he flew up into the willow to strut his stuff and fluff is feathers as in the "old days". Over the next week or so, he could be seen frequenting the crepe myrtle next to the windows where he had behaved so badly the year before. Sometimes he looked so longinly at the windows that I just knew he would hop back on the window and start the whole thing over again. Then he left again, presumably to rejoin his friends and do normal bird things.

T is different from the others. He is defiant and has little fear of me. They all look the same, but T does not act the same. I know him when I see him. If he returns, I'll be sure to let you know. Hopefully, by now T has grown up a bit and is raising some little T's of his own. I can only hope his behavioral issues are not genetic as I can hardly image a nest full of little T's desending on my poor little house! ; )

Scutler I'm training an attack squirrel and plan on releasing it at your house so we can have another delightful dialog of "crazed animal stories". This weekend he learned how to throw acorns and hit his target about 70% of the time. Last week he learned how to open windows and chew through screens.

Soferdig, ROFLMBO!!!

BTW, do you have a trick racoon or coppermouth?

Those were my most recent animal horror stories. Apparently all of the animals in the forest behind my house are crazy. The racoon walked right out of the forest in daylight (did not appear sick) and came over to me. He acted just like a dog might have, even went back over the fence when I fussed at him and pointed at the fence. Then 5 minutes later, there he was backing back down the fence again. For a while, every time I went out in the backyard, the racoon scampered down the fence and started following me around like a puppy! THEN, the copperhead showed up at the back door and refused to leave even when my dog walked on him and I poked and shoved him with a stick! Soferdig, you keep those critters at your house! Anyhow, I already have a yard full of crazy squirrels - that story coming soon to a Forum near you.

Racoons are themselves a movie. I have none here in Montana but I remember many fun times with them sleeping with me ( and eating my cookies, eggs, etc.) in my tent many a time. Once I was woken up by a big one on an island I was kayaking around. I had my Jack Russell Terrier and when the big boy started into the tent my Jack, Sophie, had enough and met the Coon at my face and a 15 minute fight occurred with the poor coon up a big fir tree. "Some times, enough is enough!" Sophie commented upon crawling back to the bottom of my sleeping bag.

SOFE,
I know you are NOT OLD ENUF to remember them, but didnt DISNEY do one of their famous narrated "nature" movies on raccoons. I know they did severral on otters, bear cubs, cougar cubs, etc.

Best;
bluelytes

Well I am old enough to see the first Disney tear jerkers. Bambi had raccoons in it and many narated stories to teach we Boomers about the wild animals out around us. I wanted to be a member of the Micky Mouse Club but didn't get good enough recption to be able to watch it in the sticks of Michigan. Steve

Scutler, I've been raising birds (small parrots) for years and years. I would try this: buy a small bird cage, hang it on a tree near one of attacked windows, with birdfood baited in a humane trap inside of it. Humane traps close their doors.
Then drive like mad far, far, far away- like Hilton Head or Savannah, and release him.
Or stick him in a big aviary cage, give him lots of food and water, set up pieces of window screen, and he's set for life.
In return for the loss of his freedomn (think of it as jail time for a juvenile deliquent), he's free from worry about predators forever.

Enjoying the thread. We've been mugged by wild turkeys up here in NJ, they yell at my younger daughter and chase my Collie.

Hello :-)

I just had to write to let you know that coming to this forum 'Garden Foes' is such good therapy! Laughing therapy. OMG, I came here to find out info about what to do with poison ivy without poisons and a few threads caught my attention and the next thing you know, I am laughing so hard the tears are running down my face. First I was reading the thread about the person who put 3500 toothpicks in the ground to keep his cat from using his flower bed for a litter box. I no sooner stopped laughing from that, then I stumbled upon this thread.

Wow! I am serious when I say that about 2/3 of the way through the thread, I just had to stop reading it. I could not read any more, I had laughed so hard, I was getting all congested and could hardly breathe..lol. OMG, I just can't remember the last time I had such a good laugh! Not only are the situations you all are finding yourselves in pretty surprising, but the way in which you report what is going on, and the responses from people ...you all are just so witty!

Seriously though, I am sure scutler, you are not quite as amused as the rest of us. I am sure in the future you will be, but right now, I can imagine it has been a royal pain. I did want to point out, that putting anything near or on the house to attract birds seems to be a bad idea. I also made the mistake of hanging a bird house on the side of my house. It ended up with a sparrow family. I hadn't noticed that the birdhouse was on the side of the house as the bathroom and the vent for the fan was about 8 feet below the bird house. Well, another sparrow family started making a nest in the fan vent. We could hear them and see them flying in and out of it and by the time they finished it, you could see the nest material hanging out of it. Of course, the fan wouldn't work anymore. [g] We kept putting off dealing with it, but finally someone in the house managed to get up there with a ladder and with tongs remove all the nesting material. Of course, they just rebuilt. We did remove it again and took down the bird house from the house. Did you know that sparrows attach [not sure if that is the right word] to their first nest and they will go back to the same one every year? Sure enough this spring they were back trying to nest there. We finally had to put some screening over it. But we used leftover window screen. Didn't help..they made quick work of that screen and made a hole just big enough to get in and rebuilt. We finally had to get some stronger material at Lowe's and this time so far, they have not been able to get into it.

I also installed one of those window feeders once. It attaches to the outside of the window sill? It was great until I found my most frequent visitor was a squirrel family that liked to climb down from the roof along the siding and downspout to get to the feeder. Brother! What a pain that was! I finally figured out that they hate safflower seed and I filled the feeder with that and they turned their nose up at it and stopped coming. BUT, I did stop using that window feeder all together. I am leary about the birds being that close to the house. Now I have sparrows loitering on our window air conditioners and occassionally they will jump onto the window screens of the windows momentarily. Haven't started thinking up a solution to that yet.

So now I have moved my feeders to the back of the lot away from buildings. We still enjoy the birds but much more so, from a distance. {G}

How in the world did I miss this the first time around?? I've watched the thread and will come back and read it at my leisure!

It has been quite a while now since those aweful (albeit sometimes amusing) days when Mr T the crazed tufted titmouse spend his days working feverishly to take my house apart one window screen at a time. I've almost gotten beyond the trauma such that I can see and hear the little grey birds now without cringing. They are almost starting to look cute and friendly to me again.

Last week as I was surveying my little garden I saw a plant that I had not noticed before. Since it had berries I was particularly intrigued. I took a picture, and went online in search of an ID. Quickly, I found that it was Polk Salet. Moreover, and even more pertinent to this thread, the literature indicated that if you observed a bird acting very strangely you should look for this plant because birds are inclined to eat the intoxicating berries. Hmmm. AND it turns out that the plant is growing directly behind the willow tree - the one where Mr T sat taunting me whenever I'd chase him from the window, the one BESIDE the bird feeder where Mr T picked up the seeds he brought over to the window time and again. AND the berries are maturing at EXACTLY the same time of year in which Mr T behaved so badly and so atypically. I know this because in one of the posts above, one of the early ones where I am frantically seeking to understand his absurd behavior, I mention that the grapes are bearing; I go on to ponder the posiblility that he may be intoxicated perhaps from bad or fermented fruit. Well, both the grapes and the Polk Salet berries are green now, and both will be ripe soon...at the same time. Hmmm. May be the closest thing yet to a possible explanation for such bizzare behavior from such an otherwise timid creature.