Crazed Bird Destroying House - Can Anyone Help?

Last one for now. also through the window. see that SCREENED window behind him in the picture. PRAY he doesn't notice that one!

Oh, now I get the Mr T allusion! (delayed reaction)

LOLOL. Who would have thought with such a sweet face such a diabolical personality is lurking!?!

Bird 6 Humans 0


Scutler my condolences........









but please keep the story coming! :)

Lilypon, did you see the one of him working away at the screen - between 2 owl faces?

My face hurts. I am going to have permanent laugh lines and it's going to be your fault.

I must get to work now. I have several e-mail from friends who are not members here who want updates on the deranged titmouse. I need to cut and paste the posts here and forward them to your well wishing fan club.

Scutler... there are about 10 people from Illinois rooting for you. You don't realize it but your comments combined with the photos have got people spitting out beverages into keyboards, choking on pizza, running for the bathroom before they pee on themselves, and overall begging for more scutler comments.

Yep I'm still shaking my head and again tears are running down my face!!! All I can say is don't hurry to replace your screens anytime in the forseeable future. ;S

It is good to know that people are rooting for me, because as Lilypon pointed out, the score isn't looking to good for me so far.

Oh, and about the screens, at this point, I'm not only leaving them alone, I'm PRAYING he'll keep "eating" them and leave the rest of the house alone for now. In my mind I have a terrifying picture of me sitting at this computer years from now sending you guys pictures of the few remaining, thoroughly pecked splinters that are left of my house.

Is bird damage covered by home owners insurance?

Am alarmed to note that I am becoming negatively sensitized to the sound of bird singing "sweetly". All my life I have loved the sound of birds chirping. I love to wake to this soothing sound in part because it reminds me of the comforts of days gone by. BUT NOW, every time I hear a chirp I think, "oh, no, house eating spawn of satan." Even the banter of the sweet, well-behaved (so far), little chickadees now fills my heart with terror - well, at least grave concern. This is so not good. I think I'm getting PTSD.

I sought help from NWF of which I am a member. Since they advocate the backyard habitat, I thought they might be able to suggest something that would allow both the bird and me to live through this. I got links on how to attract birds to my yard. Oh, yeah, that's what I need right now. I guess I did not explain the problem clearly. Will try Audubon and Sierra.

Since I started this thread by asking for suggestions/help, I should update my request. Originally, I was looking for any reasonable idea. However, over the past months the bird has trained me well. I have learned, for instance, that the solution must focus on getting him to go away rather than on blocking or detering his access to the 4 screened lower windows. So far, every attempt to do the latter has resulted in damage to other (previously untouched) areas of the house. Better to let him continue to lascerate the screens that must now be replaced anyway than to incur the expense of damage elsewhere.

Maybe that's it: the bird is a post grad conducting research on whether humans can be trained. (Answer seems to be, "yes, but it's a very slow and difficult process.) Oh, clearly, I've been at this way too long.

Maybe put take the screens out for a couple weeks and see if House Eating Spawn of Satan goes away? Does it dive bomb you when you go outside? I had Redwing Blackbirds do that to me if I got too close to their nesting area.

Hey Bugman, did you share this thread with your wife? Pretty hysterical isn't it! The photos of that bird staring straight at you when you look at it are riotous.

Say scutler, have you any neighbors who are disrespectful of your sleep? Give them your screens as a gift maybe?

Yes, I told my family at dinner tonight, and they looked at me incredulously. I will have to show them all the photos.

Gosh, I don't even know where to begin... This has been such a great thread! Wonderful for us to read, hopefully we can get you a solution, too. :)

You decided not to try to catch him, is that right? If you caught him, you could drive him somewhere further away from civilization, and hopefully he'd stay there. You had said you were able to lure him to within 4' of yourself. Perhaps you could put out some Peanut butter sandwiches or something and get even closer. The net may work, another option is to throw a jacket or something over the top of him when he's sitting on the ground. That's a pretty efficient way to catch birds. Especially if you can get two people: one from each side. Knowing me, I'd throw him in a cage, and call him a pet! LOL :) (not really :)

Have you tried opening the window and then giving him a REAL scare when he comes to the screen? Or maybe the screens are so far gone you'd be afraid of him getting in. If you owned a bird, you could put it by the window and it'd probably let him know that this "roost" is already occupied and that he needs to back off. Do you have a friend with a Macaw you can borrow? lol :) Even a small bird should be territorial enough to deter him, I'd think. Put it by the window and crack the window enough for them to hear each other. They could have it out in a peeping litte quarrel. You might contact your local bird club or aviculture society to see if someone would be willing to just let you borrow a bird for a week or so. They have rescue operations normallly and you could just "foster" one for a short time till Mr. T gets the message. Those are my ideas for now... I'll keep thinking about it.

This too shall indeed pass :)

Sarah

I wonder what he would do if you hung those little pet store bird mirrors around his favorite tree? Maybe he would fall in love?

I really do sympathize with you, and not to make light of your plight, but this thread is funny as HEdoublehockeysticks! I think I would have opened the window and shot him with a BB gun thru the screen long ago. And I'm a pacifist for the most part.

Good Luck!

Maybe call in a clergy to perform exorcism. Demon bird alert!

Maybe he likes your attention and just wants you to sit and talk with him!

I think you should build him a bird house on the screen with his own screened windows to chew on! Then when he is in there you can torture him back by poking on his screened windows!

gayle, he's pretty smart. If I stand on other side of window, he remains more or less steadfast - and scowls at me as per above photos. Even when I smack the window with a magazine or something, he just looks at me like, "you can't reach me, ha, ha, ha". But when I open the window, he moves to an adjoining window - this includes when I leave window open for a while. I'm pretty much a pacifist, too. My yard is overflowing with icky spiders due to my "live and let live" philosophy. But I'm ashamed to admit that a few times I have gotten so frustrated that I actually contemplated shooting him THROUGH the window. But I quickly found that even this is not feasible. While not shown in the pics, my house (master br on one side, kitchen on the other) "wraps around" the area where these windows are located - in a "U" shape with these windows in the center of the "U"; from almost any angle, I risk shooting my house.

sarah, he doesn't let me get as close (from outside) as he used to. He knows I'm after him. Also, if you notice the tree in front of the window in the photo above, he lets me get fairly close because he knows that he can duck into the tree and hide. The tree is too big for me to get anything over it, otherwise, that might work. Actually Mrs Mockingbird is back; she's pretty tough; I've seen her chasing other birds away before, including my covetted bluebirds. Maybe she'll send him packing.

The exorcist sounds good!

jasmerr, I love birds, and I must admit that early on I hoped he was somehow trying to communicate with me or be friends or something. But based on the very expressive looks he gives me (see 1st photo), I'm pretty sure that I am just an obstacle to him.

jenbrink, that's hilarious. Considering my lack of success and level of frustration that may be the best solution yet - turn the tables on him. that's funny.

Every time this subject comes up, I am reminded of a brief, humorous article I read a year or so ago in a gardening magazine. In the article, a woman was describing her husband's antics in his attempt to save his new vegetable garden from the racoons. It was a 2 page account of how he started out with a simple, sensible plan to save money be growing his own veggies, and ended up spending an ever increasing amount of time, energy, and money doing absolutely ridiculous things in a doggedly determined, but ineffective, effort to fend off the critters. Near the end he was reduced to sitting in the yard at night guarding his produce with a shotgun and screaming out the window (I've done that) and buying everything short of nuclear weapons (been there). In the end he did manage to save a dozen tomatoes and a few cucumbers - and they only cost him around $2000. And, that, my friends, has become my theme story. Alas, I have become the coyote; Mr T is the Roadrunner. Got my eye open for anything labelled "Acme".

I'm soooooooooo glad I've kept this thread on watch. Scutler you and your buddy have given us the gift of so much laughter! ;) So when are *you* contacting a magazine editor???

Who knows........ maybe it will pay for the replacement of your screens!

(sending ACME holy waters and ACME basic guide to exorcism express mail to scutler)

ROFLOL. You guys crack me up. will be impatiently awaiting delivery of ACME items.

and, hmm, contemplating that article idea - silver... lining.

BTW, this new name Mr T is just what I was looking for - much easier to type. I tried to abbreviate his name a few times but the result...well, let's just say it didn't quite work.

Ok, fessing up. I have talked to the bird - more times than I like to admit - taunting him. told him I'm having beef today, but I might be having bird tomorrow. and, oh, look, today we're eating your cousin Mr Chicken. If you keep it up, we may be having titmouse soon. and, I think Mr Hawk is watching you.

I've even gone outside in daylight to yell at him - louder and louder, since he often ignores me. Then I wonder how silly I must look to the neighbors - standing outside apparently talking loudly to my imaginary friend.

Ah, a voodoo doll, that's the ticket! Shaped like Chicken Little LOL LOL Weeee are the Chaaaampions blah blah

ROFL... best of luck.. :)

Sarah

I like the voodoo titmouse doll idea best. You can send it around to all of us DGers and we can all cram screen in its mouth and stab it for you before sending it on the the next member to show our support for you.

The Evil Voodoo Titmouse Round Robin!!!

Sign me up!

Yes, it would be sort of like Pixie's gnome that is traveling the globe right now only this would be scutler's titmouse.

I bet scutler is wishing we could send around the actual Mr. T!

I've been totally ROTFLMBO and also wincing in sympathy as this saga unfurled... and went on... and on. But I just realized I'd yet to post!

I actually think Sarah had a good idea with getting (or borrowing) an indoor bird to claim those windows as his territory. Do you have a friend with a parrot? or even a parakeet? It's certainly no stranger than some of the other things you've tried! =)

Mr T for you, lol.

You know what I just noticed...

The Mr T starter kit contains both a Cross and a Star Of David around his neck. Poor man is as confused as the Titmouse.

ROFL, Equ :)

Sarah

Hey, we need to understand Mr. T better, get Mr. Spock in here and do a titmouse/Vulcan mind-meld on the critter!! LOL (that would be pretty scarey I bet)

What we need is Video - should be worth a bunch to one of the tv shows.

You "guys" are SO wonderful! I have SO enjoyed reading your posts. You have helped me to retain my sanity and to laugh (for real). The voodo doll idea brought back memories of the "dilbert's boss doll" a co-worker bought for me years ago - it came with pins. The Round Robin idea gave me a wonderful feeling of support and community... and then...quite to my amazement, even as I laughed at the idea of "cram[ming] screen in its mouth", I found myself experiencing an odd urge to protect my "sweet", "harmless", little bird. I mean, just look at the darling little face in the photo's above. I guess it's like when you're fighting tooth and nail with a sibbling, and then the moment anyone else says anything negative to them, you rush to their defense. Amazing and most unexpected reaction.

critterologist, Sarah, now about the idea of borrowing a bird...

It's certainly no stranger than some of the other things you've tried! =) lololol!

Well, I must concur with that observation! :)

First, I actually don't know anyone (in the area) who has a bird of any kind. I have a friend who owns several Macaws but she lives in MA and is sufficiently overprotective of them that I doubt she would lend them out anyhow. Second, I'm a bit confused about the concept of indoor birds; they aren't "house-broken", right? To be effective wouldn't he need to have the run of the house/room? Hmmm...2 words: hardwood floors. Lastly, based on Mr T's behavior, I suspect that just as he understands that I can't get to him through the glass, I figure he would not fear a bird on the other side of the glass. Even when I hit the glass with a magazine he is undaunted. In moments of frustration, I have even hit the glass with my hand - hard enough to MOVE the glass and still he did not leave/respond.

BTW, I have not seen Mr T for about a week. HOPING...HOPING...It's probably just that I've been busy and it gets dark so early - just because I didn't see him does not mean he wasn't here.

Dyson, video, why didn't I think of that? great idea. would have been pretty easy in the beginning. more difficult now. he has learned my habits so he flies over to the willow tree or into the crepe myrtle when I open the back door. To get the close ups of him through the windows (which is the only way I can get decent pics), I had to put the lens up to the window - even a small distance away resulted in either closeup of screen or reflection of window. I took many, many "discards" to get those few keepers. But, if/when he comes back, I'll give it a shot..uh, try. it is a GREAT idea. if i get anything I'll post a link. then you guys will REALLY laugh - it's better with the sound effects.

i.e. hearing you call him all kinds of sweet names in the background right? ;)

Oh, no, you DON'T want to hear THOSE sound effects! I have a reputation to uphold. ..;and now that I think about it, I'm not sure I want to record some of the threats I've made on his life...