I made a special padded pouch for my camera that fits into one pocket of my bucket. Works well but doesn't look good. lol Like I care about that?
I think it is going to take the next 500 years to get this place weed free since we live in the country with neighbors who don't worry about weeds and a lot of the weed seeds here are airborne. I keep thinking I can put up a sign for a U-pick weed farm and people would pay to come weed my gardens. Just not sure what to charge them because if it is too cheap they won't come but if it is too expensive they might get suspicious.
My garden's a tight space...
LOL!
You can call yourself "Fantasy Designer Weeds" and they might just think that they were buying something to wear!
Maybe you ought to grow free pumpkins and make the price weeding a certain square feet. Now what's a good free spring crop???
You could always call the neighbors and tell them that you had some of their weeds and did they want to come back and collect them? Our neighbors grow bermuda grass and if there's a noxious weed that's one!
DH suggests that people might not be able to tell what a hosta is from a weed. Arghhhhhh I can't have THAT! I need people who know what a hosta and a daylily are amoung other plants. Can't just have them weeding indiscimanatly in here. I would be whacking people over the head with my cane. That four prong one might just come in handy after all. Hmmm seems to me there is also a cane with sharp ice points that I could use to jab them into faster work or keep them from taking out my good plants?
Lani
Everyone has to learn and this may be your opportunity to teach your work people a plant from a weed, one at a time. Yes, it's time consuming but it's better to educate them than have a desired plant removed.
Ah, what we do for the world. Teaching people to weed is one of the finer occupations in life. Because then you have to teach them to garden. But then your four prong cane might be very efficient. Could you train four at one time? I hired someone to do clean up for me one time and he dug up all of the violets under my walnut tree. ARGGGG. Do you know how hard it is to get something to grow under Walnut trees? It's never been the same since. One person's weed can be another's precious plant.
Doss~
I feel for your violets. IF, and that's definitely and if not a when, I ever get something to grow under my maples, I'll be bullshout if anyone digs them up!!!!!
xxxxxxxxx, Carrie
I'm feeling it! :-)
Doss dear,
BTW I am interested if your propriotherapist can reccommend anyone in the Boston area. Thanks so much!
xxxxxx, Carrie
Dear Carrie - I don't know anyone but I'll ask. It may take me a week or two.
Dmail me to remind me if I don't get back to you!
Doss
I'm just running through this forum for the first time and wanted doss to know that I bought an extra quad cane to use just in the garden. That was only $22 at my local medical supply place. It was your suggestion and it has helped me so much. So even after all this time, I wanted you to know that I am still using it, my family doesn't nag me so much anymore and I can crawl up it if I have to.
I have a new Tractor Scoot too and a new bucket arrangment will spring into existence tomorrow (tools, tool cleaner stuff, water bottles).
Hey, gardengram. I'm so glad that it's working for you. My vertigo is getting worse so I'm using my cane more. My beds are too tightly planted for a scoot but I do have a bucket with a pocket sleeve. Love it. I don't know how you dredged up this old thread -- But it's lovely that you did.
I had completely forgotten about this forum and ran into it and was reading along for some new ideas and found you. You helped me so much and have been very supportive. I know that your gardens are laid out much differently from mine and I do hope you are careful on those terraces. We don't need any bumps or scrapes on you. The pictures I've seen of your gardens are lovely and I know how hard you work on them.
Hi, All:
I recently found this forum as well and have gotten some great ideas from it. Thank you, thank you! I just ordered a Scoot (thanks to this column) and am anxious to try it.
Carrie, I don't know of a propriotherapist around these parts, but have you contacted the MS depts. at both Beth Israel Deaconess and BWH? I know someone in the MS unit at BID and left her a message but she hasn't gotten back to me yet. I'm not sure such a thing exists here, but I’ll let you know what she says.
I've been treated for years, muich of it at BWH, for severe relapsing remitting MS and I'm in the midst of a 2 year chemotherapy protocol as we speak. It works, but at a price. I've had loss of proprioception), too, since Day One, and it would be great to find something to help with that problem. It is so frustrating (and limiting).
Regarding gardening issues, my favorite thing for getting into tight spots in the garden is a combo seat/kneeler I got at A.J Wright's 2 summers ago. I paid $10 and it was the best $10 I've spent. I can't get by with just canes because of the balance problems and even my quad canes sink too far into the dirt, and this kneeler helps a lot. It's dark green, folds, is very sturdy, and the box (which I have long since tossed) said it would support 350 pounds. I'll look on it and see if I see any identifying marks. I sometimes belt myself into my w/c because I lean too far over and fall out. (Now THAT is a sight to behold.)
I also have one of those little Rubbermaid wheelie seat things – it’s about a foot high and only a midget could use it comfortably. I use it to roll along the short lavender hedge, but I always have an aching back the next day.
My latest acquisitions came from Lowe's in the last month and they are fabulous. They have the best long reach grabber thing, aluminum, with one of those hand grips like a bicycle brake, and it really works. It's in the gardenibng section of all places, which is how I found it. It was less than $20. I also got some fabulous tools there with telescoping handles. Can't remember the brand (sorry) but I just got them. The handles are yellow with green grips. They telescope long enough to reach the middle of my beds and are very lightweight, so even with my weakness, I can do much more than with reguklar weight tools. I got a mini spade/shovel and a mini rake and I don’t know how I got along without them before this.
I also have some of the Wolf tools. You buy the attachments separately from the handles which come in different lengths. The medium length handle is great to use from a wheelchair but it's not as long as the one above and it’s heavier, so it’s good for close work but not to reach any distance. We like them because the three handle lengths (there is a short one to make them hand tools) are interchangeable with all the tool attachments and my husband can use the same tools with the long handle. Beats buying several tools in every length.
My latest project has been to add birdfeeders and a mailbox in my gardens so I can leave hand tools and pruners strategic placed, saving me from having to lug everything around for simple pruning/weeding, which is a daily thing here. It’s been hard to lug everything, wheel the wheelchair, and drag a feeding pump and respirator behind me. I painted them all myself and they look really nice. When it stops raining I’ll take and post some pictures. Yep, I put the tools in the bird feeders and flip the plastic so the holes are at the top and then secure with glue so they don't leak. The lids lift off to access the tools. The pictures will show it better.
Off to the doctor and hope it stops RAINING by the time I get back lol.
Cathy
wow, Cathy - you have come up with an entire arsenal. Thanks for sharing. I've always been reluctant to use the extension tools because my hands tremble and are weak. Do you think that they might work anyway?
Clever about the birdfeeders. I can't tell you how many times I've stopped in the middle of a project because I can't just dredge up any energy to go and trade tools. I can see where that would make a huge difference.
Hope that you are posting the pictures here after the MD appointment.
Doss
Yes, Cathy, I'm a regular at the BWH MS clinic. That is BRILLIANT about your birdfeeder caches! We don't really have enough property to make that worthwhile; birdhouses/feeders would look funny here. Plus, I always have someone with me; the likelihood of my getting into trouble I can't fix is just too great. (Falling out of WC, knocking over pots, driving off patio and getting stuck in mud, having a tug'o'war with a weed and the weed winning!) - I'm unsafe at any speed!
xxxxx, Carrie
Carrie,
You must have very enthusiastic and evil weeds!!!LOL And getting stuck in the mud doesn't sound like too much fun either. I have started having someone with me in the garden when I work too as I fall over. Then it can take me quite a while to get up. Getting up and down without getting so dizzy I pass out is the real problem. So I go slooooooooooooooooooooooowly.
My garden makes my day though.
I'm not sure of their enthusiasm - they just sit there secretly growing. The minute I grab hold of one, either the top comes off in my hand, I lean over too far and almost fall over, or I reach down far enough and have no momentum left to pull on the weed with, you know? I'm using all my energy to stay in the chair!
xxxxx, Carrie
I can't say that I really understand that since I would be overstepping my bounds to say that I do. But I'm standing in awe of your determination. Sometimes I think that there is no way that I would be able to push myself as hard as you do and then I find myself standing on my head trying to take a photo of a daylily. What a head rush! Gardeners are very silly people!
LOL xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Carrie (((((Doss)))))
You are all so inspiring to listen to. I was sitting on my Tractor Scoot today and got so frustrated I just started to bawl!! It doesn't roll easily because our pathways are flagstone with gravel between and it's not a smooth surface. If I bent over far enough to reach the weeds, my back hurt so much I could not take a good breath. I had to haul my tool holder and my tool cleaner solution. I just want it to be easy, and it's just not going to happen. You ladies deal with so much more than I do and I am so proud to know you.
Since I am just starting to use the TS and because I am so far behind, I think it will get easier as I get going. I've never had many weeds because I stayed on top of them all the time. But beginning last August I had to stop gardening and this spring I am just overrun with weeds on top of weeds. I have been reluctant to ask my teenaged garden helper to pull weeds because I'm not sure he would know which is which, but some of the beds are round and wide and hard for me to get into.
That's when I use my quad cane because I can stomp over the creeping thyme to reach the stuff further in. I honestly don't know what I would do without it now.
I have a long-handled rake that is very light in weight and bright orange in color (harder for me to lose that way) and the handle adjusts. I also have a long-handled grabber and weed puller. But how am I going to carry all of those, ride my little Tractor Scoot and carry my other tools and a weed bucket? I need a trailer, that's what!!! Can you all see me now? Zooming along slower than a turtle, dragging my stuff in a little trailer? That ought to give you all a chuckle.
Some of you are in wheelchairs and still manage to get all of your oxygen equipment and yard equipment out to where you need it. I just admire you so much.
Hope you all sleep exceedingly well.
Diane
As I'm going back and forth with my two cups of daylily pollen reciting their names continually so I don't forget - Which I often do - I realize that I could be more efficient if I could remember anything, had any amount of energy, wasn't worried about falling over, and didn't have to make a zillion trips because I can't balance anything. Much less carry it all!!! Not much to ask, do you think? Simple skills and abilities? Oh, and perhaps I could do more if I had any strength at all in my hands. Shoot!
I don't know about every one else but I couldn't survive without a good cry once in awhile. Or a good anger fit. You know that "I refuse to be in this situation" tantrum? The good thing about that is that it's so ridiculous I can't keep it up very long and start to laugh. Ludicrous, but sometimes you just have to take a STAND!!!! So I laugh myself silly and that can't be all bad.
That's what my cry was today, doss, just plain frustration and having to accept what I don't want to accept. I just want my old energy and ability to work hard back. I don't mind being 68 -- I mind not being able to do anything without having to take hours to rest up from it. I mind worrying with every single step I take if I am going to fall over. My legs don't work right since my last surgery and it's scary and frustrating. I really am afraid of falling.
My precious neurosurgeon reminds me that it can take as long as a year to recover from one surgery and I have had three big ones since the end of August. She just keeps telling me to do what I can and then rest for as long as I need to. I don't mind that, as we are trying to fix things, but I do mind not being able to move my tools along while I am stuck between a couple of flagstones. Today it was "Pity Party" day, just me sitting outside crying like a wimp.
I just found out night before last that I had a hosta with the virus and I had used the same tools on about 15 or 20 other innocent hostas as I created a new bed. It was all just too much for one day. Even the birds didn't help me much today.
But tomorrow will be a better day, right?
Wow!!! Sorry about your hostas. I found rust on one of my daylilies yesterday and that's treatable. I don't know what I'd do if I had that virus.
Tomorrow will be another day - and you problem will be one more day behind you.
Reading your post it made me think of my therapist telling me over and over to stop trying. She said that if trying would have done it, I'd be all better by now. Seems that she went to school with your neurologist. At least my therapist has MS and knows how hard that is. It's not that easy to let go and cry either.
I think that "Pity Party" should be said with enthusiasm! My husband sometimes tells me that I get an A+ just for getting out of bed and taking a shower. He's a real gem.
So A+ on your day. It was a hard one and you survived it.
Hear hear! Can your teenage helper - who can't tell a weed from a plant - can he be your caddy? Follow you around with the fertilizer and whatever else you need, your orange rakes and hoes?
Today I have to go to the car insurance agent - sit outside on the sidewalk because they have steps up and wait for our guy to come out. But then when I get to the registry they'll skip me in line bacause of the WC! Sigh.
xxxxx, Carrie
I think my teenager will just have to be the worker bee and I'll be the drone. I can just point at what he should dig out. I have lots of daylilies to move also and I am not deadheading them so that I can remember which ones, so that area looks pretty sad. I'll do the things about ground level. We'll see how that works.
I have found that when I am using my walker, people are quick to let me go first and they open doors for me and so on. Do you all find that, too?
Diane
Oh, yes. The most amazing though is when I have larynxgitis. Then they really baby me and are so solicitious. Never mind that I'm in pain all the time.. Having an invisible problem is pretty difficult. I don't have a walker so most of the time my disability isn't visual. My cane isn't that dramatic.
Sounds like your WC turns both ways Carrie. I know that it must be hard being down where people can't see you too.
On the other hand I've seen ladies with walkers almost knocked down during sales and people irritated with older folk who have trouble getting the change out of their purse. Grrrrrrrrrrrr................
Well yes, say at a wedding: when everyone stands up for the bride I can't see anything. There are lots of situations like that. If it's an orderly line of people waiting for the elevator or something, they'll usually defer to me. It's strange. It's totally enabling yet fraught with all kinds of extra signifigance. Am I wheelchair-bound, or confined to a wheelchair? Well no, actually, because I don't sleep in it! I'm so tired I think I'm not making any sense This is a topic which I find truly fascinating and I've written articles and speeches about it. More later, when my brain is attached to my fingers.
xx, C
Carrie, where do you give speeches? It is fascinating. Once I crossed at a corner and a policeman tore into me because I hadn't crossed at the crosswalk one block up. I thought that if he knew what it took me to cross the street at all he wouldn't do that.
And I guess with wheelchairs it's not only your relationship to them it's whether or not the people actually see past the wheelchair to the person in the wheelchair. I fought using a cane for a long time and now I wonder why I waited for so long. I think that it was the expected perception of others that made me wait.
Hope that you had a good rest and that your brain is back in it's space. Attached to your fingers! LOL
OK, let's seee. Well, a little sshaky om the spellin, but darn it, I can think what I want to say, why can't you hear it from there? Should I think louder?
Well, I used to work for an organization in town called the Project on Wonen and Disability. The idea being, that if you're a woman, you're earning less, you're dealing with society's perception of you as not-the-boss, you're dealing with centuries of disenfranchisement and blah blah. [THis was my boss's idea, not mine!) Then, if you're disabled on top of that, you're facing two challenges from society. You know, the old thing about if a man earns $1.00, a woman earns $0.89? Well, a disabled man earns $0.67 and a disabled woman earns $0.27. This was in the 90s, when there was money available for social services and people thought about these kinds of things... I think we're gonna get bumped off this thread. Anyway, the ADA had just been passed, and there was more optimism in the disabled community. I wrote an article for a women's writing project at Tufts which was accepted and then I had to go deliver it at Tufts. (It was a big conference with tons of little rooms; I was in a little room with someone else and someone else, no attendees, so we presented our papers to each other.) Anyway my article was called I Am A Travelling One-Woman Conciousness Raising Show. It was about my experiences as a disabled mother (we don't get paid either!) and my interaction with people's reactions. It was quoted in Penthouse!
So.... I stopped working for PWD but continued thinking and writing about issues related to being disabled and being a female. At the time my XH and I belonged to a church with about a million steps up to it. I started complaining and the church (which had a lot of elderly congregants, walkers, arthritis, hip replacements, you name it, started a capital campaign, raised money and built a ramp! By then my XH and moved to a suburb because my daughter was getting old enough for kindergarten! So I wrote a homily called "One Ramp at a Time" based on the notion that I would go to a church that needed a ramp, stick around long enough to get it built, and then leave town and go to another ramp-free church! Anyway, we joined a new church that had a ramp already but I was asked to come speak at another church which didn't, and first MY church did a service about disability then the other church did a service about disability then a third church invited me to come speak, and next I think is going to be my neurologist's church! I alsoo was asked to speak about families where one person has a disability at the All Kinds Of Families Alliance. All these groups that were active in the early 90s in the Boston area don't exist anymore.... What can I say, I'm from a blue state with a red govenor. And then I gave workshops to each of my kids' kindergarten classes, and then the other classes wanted one too! I'm a ham, I know. But kids are so mean! There was a rumor at one school that I was in a wheelchair because I'm too fat to walk! My kids shouldn't spend their their school time fighting for my honor!
Oh, also, I testified before the State Senate Sub-committee on Sexual Harassment. Now I am fairly completely retired from my public life, pottering in my garden with assistants. And assistance, LOL.
xxxxx, Carrie
Well, Carrie,
If this is too political it's OK if they close the thread. Is there anyone who will admit to not wanting equal rights for all people including the handicapped and women?
It sounds as if you have made power out of your situation. What more can we ask? If everyone did just a 10th of what you've done, then the world would be a very wonderful place indeed! I'm so happy that you've found a way to make a difference and that you've made it happen. They don't just happen by themselves. And I love the name of your article.
Thanks so much for sharing what you've done. And for what you've done. I'm sure that there are some people much better off for it.
I've never had to deal with the kinds of issues that you have. I can only imagine when I get dizzy and can't do what I want to do how hard it would be to be stuck in a wheel chair - well mobilized by a wheelchair too.
I was certainly exposed to many of the wheel chair dilemmas as the mother of my best friend growing up was a quadraplegic from polio. It never seemed odd somehow. But I did learn being at their house and going on vacations with them that there were definite problems to be addressed.
I've only had to live with pain from daily severe migraines and vertigo - not much to talk about there to others. No obvious problem to solve. I would appreciate it if they would lower the sound in movie theaters and cut out all of the flashing lights. I might be able to go. Seems silly when we are talking about livelihoods and access.
I've dreamed of writing a book once I get low enough on my meds to be able to concentrate about how it is to live with an invisible disability. I've come to the conclusion that living with a disability is a skill set you learn. And not an easy skill set to achieve either. But I can't have that putting pressure on me. I 'try' too hard as it is. LOL
What a wonderful thing it's been to read your story this afternoon and think about what you've done. I've had a few frustrating days lately and you give me hope.
doss
Doss,
I actually impressed myself today, writing down all that stuff I've done. That was in nothing-like-chronological order, you understand. Today my PCA and I went to the insurance agent and paid a car insurance installment with a borrowed check from Mom, went to the RMV, waited in line for probably an hour only to find that my DH had oustanding parking tickets and I couldn't renew our car insurance. And then from the MS, all of a sudden, I get all the air knocked out of me by fatigue. Wooosh. Didn't get to garden at all today. :-( .
Thank you for your invigorating feedback.
xxxxx, Carrie
Don't you love it when you surprise yourself? Sometimes it's great to count up what you've done.
I had a friend come over today for lunch and I told her everything that was frustrating me. Then she had a turn. She's got Parkinson's. By the time I finished with the list I was just shocked that I wasn't more crabby! I was crabby enough as it was. It was all little stuff too, like the stuff you are talking about. Like I found a daylily with rust and now I have to get the whole bleeping garden sprayed. Well, the daylilies sprayed every week for a couple of months.
Don't you hate it when you or someone else has pushed it just a little far and then you have to recuperate? What a pain!
Now I'm grumbling at you!! Will it never end? LOL Anyway, I'm a whole lot less crabby now that I know that my crabiness was 'normal' and is not just my personality. I'm really pretty hard to rattle usually. I imagine that you are too. I don't really have the energy to get upset. :-)
I was so happy to respond to your list. It is really impressive too. California has pretty strict building codes for the handicapped including requirements for parking, ramps, bathrooms and I know that it only came about because of people like you insisting that it get done.
doss
I had an unpleasant experience at Home Depot yesterday. I had my walker folded up and in my cart, standing up with a couple of small trellis things I was going to buy, a couple of big buckets, some small stuff like new clippers and an AV plant. I found plastic chairs that I had been wanting for my garden space (more on those later), and all I could do was drag them along with me. I saw a cart that had been sitting for a long time with a couple of different chairs in it and some trash, so I thought it was a worker's cart. It had been in the same place the whole time I had been in that section of the garden part of the store. I removed the two chairs from the cart, left the trash until I could get it up from and throw it away. I was just starting to convoy my way to the front, pushing one basket and pulling the other and this "lady" opened a door, which I thought she was doing to help me, but it had been her basket and she did not hesitate to just stand there and hold that door and tell me she needed her cart. So I lifted out my two chairs (pain didn't matter to her obviously, helping was not on her agenda either), she slammed her two chairs back into the basket and tore off toward the back of the dept. I felt bad because I had taken her basket, but I could not walk any further to get another one, so I went back to pushing my basket and dragging my chairs. Had I only known what I was going to find along the route (now that's a joke--I don't have a route through HD), I would have started out with a big flat cart, which is very hard for me to maneuver. I'm sure she did not see my walker folded up in my first basket, but I felt bad for her, too. She was angry and felt insulted that I would "take her basket". My back was hurting so much from lifting those chairs three times (one time off the pile, one time into the stolen basket and one time back out of the stolen basket) that I thought this is really stupid--get the chairs some other day. I wanted to yell at her that at least my handicap was visible and hers wasn't!!!! I never had a chance to explain anything, except that the basket had been sitting for a long time, and that seemed to only make her more angry, so what was the use of trying to talk to her.
Using a walker and a cane has been very eye-opening to me. She's the only person I've ever seen that was rude--and she just thought I was a thief. I hope she never ends up in a WC or using a walker. Or maybe I should hope she does and that she can remember that day.
Most people are so gracious and I am always so quick to smile and thank them. One lady in the airport jumped up and came to where I was sitting in a WC. I had not had a chance to put my shoes back on from the security inspection, and she asked for the pleasure of helping me. She put them on and tied them and made sure they were comfortable. What a precious moment that was in my heart!!!
I don't understand rude people. I don't understand people who aren't helpful. I don't get how people can waste their energy being angry at such a little thing. It's so easy to just get another cart, for heaven's sake.
Love that about her handicap being invisible - plus that I'm sure she doesn't see it that way. Only people who have learned that life is too short and precious to waste it on the little stuff know that. And it's usually hard won.
The only good thing about that is that it reminds me how much pain other people are in the world. Not that it's such a good thing, but it's a king of pain that I don't have any more.
Those people who reach out are precious aren't they?
Wish I had been there and could have helped you. My pain is only in my head!
1garden,
I am sorry to report that over the years I have had more bad experiences than good. People letting the door close on me and my WC, people insisting on parking in HP spots without the right license, people - not the general public, mind you, but Registry of Motor Vehicles workers - refusing to use the specially lowered station so I can put my papers down and sign things, what can I say, it's a hard knock life! All I can do is be as sweet and good a person as I can and (here comes my favorite expression) not sink to their level. (I learned that from dealing with my XH - Don't sink to his level!) Of course, if I were really a good person, I would never refer to him!
xxxxx, Carrie
I think that it's asking a little too much Carrie to say that you need to not refer to him to be a good person.
We have to honor our teachers for what they taught us, even if it's the school of hard knocks!!! LOL
You should see the looks people give me when I stumble - I'm sure that they think that I'm soused. I can see the judgement in their faces.
Doss, do you mean I have to honor my XH? Confused... Carrie
Edited to say that this isn't the first time my warped sense of humor has gotten me in trouble. Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt - just as we are talking about in this thread. I'm grateful.
No I never said that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm SO sorry that I made it sound that way. It was sort of a joke.
I just meant that you didn't have to avoid being honest about what he taught you. And you don't have to feel bad about saying the truth. You don't have to sink at all or be mean to be honest. We've certainly earned the right to that. We get that.
I thought that it was well said.
Does that make sense?
This message was edited Jun 17, 2006 5:20 PM
We have to remember that those experiences in our lives that seemed so hard at the time have helped form us into the sweet, kind, gentle, non-judgemental darlings we are now. The good people we run into help in that effort, too, but it's surviving the terrible things and awful people that show us who WE really are inside. And we can see the pain in their lives that they will never recognize. Not until they live in a WC or only can walk with a cane or walker and someone gripes at something that was a completely honest error. I would rather have drug those two chairs twice as far than to set off her volcano. I wonder if she would have acted any differently had she seen my walker. No matter now. I hope someday she learns gently how to better treat people. I'm just so thankful the roles weren't reversed and that was me being so hateful. Poor lady.