HUGE Mutant Gulf Coast Bugs!!

I'm not a native to the Gulf Coast so these gigantic insects still really freak me out. Yesterday I came home to find that three of the newest fronds on my Bird's Nest Fern had been stripped down to nothing but the center vein. When I got to looking...there was this HUGE (think 1950's nuclear mutant movie) grasshopper/locust thing. He was solid black with red wings and as God as my witness he was about 5 inches long. I knocked him off and beat him to death with my yardstick. Today I found another one munching on one of my beloved Goldfish Plants. I spray everything with rose and flower pesticide but it rains AT LEAST once a day so I assume that either it gets washed off or these things are so big that the poison doesn't bother them. Is hand to hand combat the only way to get rid of the giant bugs??? If one of them flys and actually gets on me or in my hair I'm really going to cause a scene right there out in my front yard! Advice?

Holly

Here is a site with a picture of common LA grasshopper. They grow them big in the south. Good luck. http://bugguide.net/node/view/3904/bgpage

OMG! "Devil's Horses" they are called??? And they're toxic??? This does explain why the cats wouldn't even get after them when I knocked them off of the plants. I guess I'll just keep beating them to death. They REALLY creep me out though. Thanks for the link...I think.

Holly

I was afraid to look thinking you'd posted a photo....and I *refuse* (lol!) to look at rose318's link!

You could try a systemic insecticide and see if that works.

What a shame about your fern!!

LOL.. That's what I found few on our yard.. I just grabbed and give to chicken.. Oh, they was so scared of it and trying go run away from it. Funny. I had to keep killing them or they would eat my whole plants

All the bugs down here are BIG. LOL

MiniSchnuz....I can't believe you actually grabbed them! I'm attacking from a distance (3 feet exactly). I'll have to buy another yardstick for sewing because the end of this one is covered in grasshopper mush. I'm not afraid of the snakes but huge insects are just too creepy. They are eating my Angel's Trumpet too which is about 10 feet tall so I'm going to try Nan's approach and get a systemic insecticide. The fern seems to be their favorite and more of it is gone today :-(
You are right...they will eat the whole plant.

Holly

This is them! See the red wings near the back? Really black and really shiny with red wings. And really big. Ok...I'll try to calm down now. Believe it or not when I moved my choices came down to Houston or here. I chose the swamp. Go figure.

Ewwwww!!! (lol!)

Good luck keeping those suckers in check!!

(Thanking the powers that be that most of our bugs are small!)

Sorry to hear that NematanthusNut, but nothing against LA. Well maybe now you can try out Houston. LOL.