The hospice facilities I have been to here are wonderful. My friend was allowed to take her husband a bottle of wine once a week, and they would share a glass in the courtyard or in his room when she would visit. I thought that was sweet they could do that. Maybe you could take yourself a quilt or an inexpensive fleece blanket to sleep with if you needed to take a long nap. Yes, the pups know when something isn't quite right.
Jeri, glad Asnley is on some meds that will help her.
September - the year is flying by!
I hope you know that you are loved Charlotte!! My heart is breaking for you at the moment and you are constant in my prayers!!! That sounds like a really nice place, Charlotte!!! Are they trying to figure out where the infection is since he has transferred to hospice? Our hospice here is wonderful. They even let your loved ones stay at home as long as you want before going to the hospice facility here. They keep them as comfortable as possible with the meds and don't hesitate to give them something to make them pain free. Jim's ex-wife was in hospice for 10 months at home.
Ashley went on a 2nd interview at Old Navy yesterday and got the job and then found out it was part time. Today she is interviewing at a place called Blink or something like that. Little boutique type places. Blink has 2 store so if she wasn't able to get all her hours at one then she might could at the other.
No Jeri all they are doing now is just keeping him comfortable. They also allow you to keep them at home with this hospice program. Since Richard was transferred straight from the hospital in an advanced stage they sent him straight to the facility. His doctor is a geriatric doctor and is actually one of the doctors on staff here. He came by to see him today and set up his schedule of pain meds and added one additional one to it. Even through he had a schedule he will automatically receive pain meds I am to request additional if I feel he is uncomfortable . The room he is in looks a lot like a hotel room except for the hospital bed. Medicare pays for hospice.
Charlotte, I have also noticed they have the heated throws out at Walmart again. I got myself and Jerry one last year to use in our recliners. Jerry thinks he likes his better behind him, but I cover up with mine. They auto cut off at 3 hours, but that might be enough to warm you up.
Good news on Ashley's job !
Oh Charlotte, I am so sorry to hear that Richard's condition has taken such a turn for the worse! I have been missing in action since last week and obviously I am way behind!! I plan to be in LR on Friday if there is ANYTHING I can do.
I took off last Friday because Jess was on fall break. We ended up taking Leigh's car to Bossier City for a recall notice, and then went to the outlet mall for a short time. Saturday we drove to Russellville for what was supposed to be a great ballgame - but it was anything but. OBU forgot to show up and they were just playing so pitiful .... they didn't really seem to wake up until half way thru the 4th quarter. :( Not sure what was going on, but needless to say they lost the game. We got back to LR and had dinner with Kyle, Maddie and Natalie and I started feeling exhausted and developed a really bad headache. I just got sicker all weekend. I was already scheduled to be off Monday because Leigh had a colonoscopy scheduled - but I barely made it up there and back with him. I took yesterday off to go to the doctor - and my sinus infection from last month is back - and with a vengence apparently. Jess says I have to get to feeling better fast because we are supposed to go to War Eagle this weekend after her pharmacy school interview on Friday...... These meds better kick in fast because I am dragging for sure! I worked 9.5 hrs today trying to find my desk after being off for 3 days - and I think I am almost caught back up!
Elaine, I saw your post about your race on FB - congrats again! I am proud of you - I couldn't make it a mile! :(
Jeri, so glad that Ashley is FINALLY feeling better. Hopefully her meds will help her stay that way!
Hope everyone else is doing ok.
Genna
Sandra, those heated throws sound like a good idea, especially for Charlotte's situation.
Genna, I hope you get better. One of our girls at work had that last week and was out from Tues to Friday and she didn't sound much better this week but said she was a lot better. It must be going around. I know once one of those sinus things gets a hold on me it seems to take forever to get rid of it. Have you tried those sinus rinses? I use the Neil-Med or something like that (it's a powder you mix with warm water and irrigate your sinuses), and also use the saline spray (Simply Saline) every day at least once a day. It really helps.
Good news on Ashley's job, or should I say jobs. Hope she gets both of them!
Those heated throws do sound good. I'll have to check into that. I'm like Jerry I like my back to be warm. That would be nice to have this winter just sitting around the house.
I'm a firm believer in flushing out your sinuses. My dad had lots of sinus problems and he taught me that trick years ago. They have lots of fancy stuff you can buy now to do it but I've always done the way my dad taught me. I just mix some salt in some warm water and sniff it up my nose. Gets the job done! I was in Florida one year and developed a sinus infection. I did the salt water sniffing trick and it cleared it right up.
Richard is still hanging on but beginning to transition. I hope he can be released from this soon. I had a hard time sleeping Tues night. I slept from 12 until 5:45 this morning without waking up and feel rested this morning.
I am sure you do hope he doesn't linger in this condition, how long have the two of you been married, I don't think I have heard you say ?
Almost 23 years.
I agree with you both but am so grateful that he is not suffering. That is such a blessing!! God is so good!!!
Ashley hasn't gotten the job, yet. She is still hunting. She has no idea what she wants to do.
Chris and Tori are expecting again and have just found a house they want. Never dull here. LOL!!!
I thought you said old navy hired her, I must have misunderstood, she will find something soon I am sure ! How is Mary ?
Charlotte, those years sure do fly by, don't they. Like Jeri, I too am grateful that he is being kept comfortable. How is Sarah taking all this?
Yes, I too am grateful Richard is being kept comfortable. And was also wondering how his daughter and her family were taking all this. I know you said you and his daughter had talked when all this started and they were moving him around. I hope they are doing ok too. I'm sure it's been hard for her. Wasn't your son going to be visiting, or has he already been and gone?
I must have misunderstood about Ashley and Old Navy too! I did catch that it was part-time, so maybe she will find something else that is full-time. Sometimes it just takes a while for young people to figure it out. Nope, Jeri, it is never dull here either. We get somebody calling us about something all the time, & usually it's my DD, lol! With her school and work, it's always something. I'm so proud of her, but there's always something going on.
Well, my doctor did suggest a neti? pot or saline spray.... I haven't felt like venturing to walmart to pick up any saline though. Maybe today. Charlotte, the thought of sniffing salt water sounds really painful to me.... :( But, I might have to give it a try. I can tell me fever is back today - although it is low grade but it exhausts me. I pray these antibiotics kick in soon. I really want to be able to enjoy our time at War Eagle. Jessica has never been and neither has my sister - so they will be in awe. Hopefully, the next 4 years Jessica will be in Pharmacy school so I figured we better take her this year!! I still don't have much strength so the thought of walking and standing all day is not too appealing........... but I do think I am a little better today so hopefully by tomorrow I will feel much better.
Jessica will be at UAMS tomorrow from 11:15 - 2:45 doing her interview, tours, group meetings, etc. Hopefully she will get an offer of acceptance pretty fast! Maddie interviewed for PA school there on Sept 18 and they called today to tell her she has been accepted!! She is going to Galveston for an interview there on Monday and has an interview at Harding on Friday, and then an interview in Birmingham the next week. It would not surprise me one bit if she was accepted to all 4 programs! But at least we know she is in at UAMS!
Charlotte, our prayers are with you. I wish there was more that we could do!
Elaine we cross posted................ I think that is just how it is when you have kids..... well, I will admit I have been extremely active in my kids lives so they are used to calling on me. I know some parents who never even attended a school function so I guess they don't have to worry about being called upon much..... :(
Kyle was bugging me last night about if I had managed to get the coats of sealer on the dresser they are redoing - which of course feeling like I have - hasn't gotten done! MAYBE it will be done by then, but I told him if not, they will just have to do without it for a week or so and I am sure they will survive just fine. They have a HUGE closet in their apartment - so they can put most of their clothes in there anyway.
You need a good night's sleep, Genna. And yes, do go get the Simply Saline AND the neti pot or the Neil-med saline rinse. To me, the Neil-med is easier than the neti pot. You can mix it up with barely warm water and use it either over the sink or in the shower. You basically bend over the sink and squirt it into your nose with your mouth open. Some will come out your nose. Then do the other side. Do it gently and repeat until the solution is gone. Then gently blow your nose. Sometimes I do it again in about an hour. It really does flush out the nasty stuff in your sinus cavities. Then I spray the Simply Saline in each nostril. It really makes a difference. Any drugstore (CVS, Walgreens) should have this stuff if you can't get to Wal-Mart.
You are right - the more you are active with your kids now the more they will communicate with you later. That's how I like it and I really wouldn't have it any other way. It's really sad when you hear about these parents who never hear from their kids and can't figure out why.
So happy for Maddie, and I know Jessica will do well. Let us know if she decides on UAB. We'll be her Alabama surrogate parents, lol!
Kyle and Maddie are traveling to UAB I believe October 29 for an interview on the 30th but not sure about those dates - no telling how long it will be before she knows. If she gets in at UAB, and Kyle decides to stick with dental, that is probably where they will head. There are some advantages to them staying in LR because Kyle already has a decent job there that he could keep while she is in her first year of school, but UAB has such a great reputation and with both dental and PA on the same campus, they would probably chose it. Kyle has missed the application deadlines for dental school for 2016, so it would be next year before he can apply anywhere for admission in 2017....... we will see how it all turns out!
I'll try to pick up some of that this evening. Thanks for the info!
My MIL was one of those people that rarely heard from her children - well, my husband talked to her a lot and saw her at least weekly, but only after we married. But, you ALWAYS had to schedule your visits with her- at least when we were younger and once we had kids - if you showed up at her house and it was time for her daily coffee with friends, you would just have to come back another time! :( I couldn't relate to that especially when she got to see the "friends" everyday, but the grands only a few hours a week......but it came back to haunt her in the end and she got very humbled the last few years.
Anyone heard from Charlotte since this morning?
I haven't, was just looking to see if she had posted.
Genna, so sorry you are sick !
I've been busy with this and that today. Richard is about the same. His doctor was by this morning. He is progressing in the process. He is estimating 2 or 3 more days but no way to actually know how long this us going to last. He is resting peacefully. I was able to talk to my son today. I had sent him a text message this morning. I wasn't sure of his schedule but thought he was probably on the way home. He called me this afternoon when he got the message. They were in North Carolina on the way to CA. He was going to catch a flight here as soon as he got home. I told him things were too uncertain now and to wait he actually passes. i told him I was fine now and had friends and Mary-Milan with me. So when we know when we will have a service he is flying here.
I can't say enough good things about this hospice facility. They do everything they can to make you comfortable and to make things easier.
Along the lines you are talking about above, Jeff and I have always been close. When he calls we usually talk at least an hour. I realized he was all grown up when we were visiting my parents when he was about 16 and we got caught in a horrible flood in Houston. My parents house flooded and we had to be evacuated to a Red Cross shelter. He was the one taking care of me and telling me what to do!!
I am sure he will still do that now if you need it from him. I am so glad he is coming, I don't think I know who Mary-Milam is to you, but thank God someone is there for you.
Mary-Milam is Richard's daughter. She brought Sarah his granddaughter over here this afternoon. I wasn't sure seeing him like this was a good thing or not but she decided it is so calm and peaceful out here and the room looks so much like an ordinary room that she would bring her. I have lots of people checking on us and willing to be here if I need them.
I don't guess I have ever heard you call her name. I am glad Sarah came to see him, it will probably help her a little later on. Have you worked out a schedule so one of you are there? I know you have to go home to tend the puppies.
We are staying here with him most of the day. But there is really nothing we can do. I don't want to just leave him here but he doesn't have any idea we are here. He does not respond to any thing. I have been going home around 10:30 pm and then getting back the next 7 to 7:30. His doctor comes around every morning early and I like to see him.
Sarah also went to see him in the hospital but she didn't take her out to the rehap place. That was not a good place to take her. Wheelchairs everywhere - people that could've scary to a child.
I see, but she does realize he is sick, that is the main thing. That is a nice place if a doctor visits every day. I didn't realize they did that at hospice. I guess I just assumed that it was like really-hab or nursing home where the doctors only come when called. You try to get some rest tonight, much love sent to you and all family
Im glad you got to talk to Jeff today. That makes for a very long day and it's probably hard to unwind and go to sleep when you finally get to your bed. I'm glad that Richard's daughter is there with you. How is she doing?
Yes Sarah knows he is very sick and that he is in the process of dying. His doctor comes every day and checks his progress and he also orders his pain meds and sets up the schedule. They are constantly checking him to make sure he is comfortable. They change his position every 2 to 4 hours. They use lots of pillows tucked around him to keep him comfortable. His daughter is doing fine. She said this is giving her time to process it all and get it worked out in her mind as opposed to him just suddenly going. His SIL also came tonight and stayed a while. He also commented on how serene and calm everything is. Even the setting is very serene. He went through this with his dad a couple of years ago.
I wasn't sure how old Sarah is but it is good Richard's daughter brought her. It sounds like she may be a teenager (?). It really sounds like a nice place and I'm glad Mary-Milam is doing ok. It is still somewhat of a shock, I'm sure, to have him go downhill so quickly like this. I'm glad Jeff will be there with you when the time comes too. Hugs and much love sent to you all. You are constantly in my thoughts.
Sarah is 11. She will be 12 the end of next month. She is an only child and has always been very mature for her age. She brought Sarah to the hospital to see him also. She didn't see him in rehab. We both thought that was just a place she didn't need to be. He was only there a few days anyway .
Richard passed away at 3:00 this afternoon. It is sad but it was a blessing for him.
We are going to have a memorial service this Thursday afternoon. Jeff and Kristi are both planning to come.
I am sorry, Charlotte. You have been so wonderful to take care of him, I know you are exhausted. Try to rest.
Charlotte I'm so sorry, you have been in my thoughts all week.
I am so sorry Charlotte!!! I love you and you are in my prayers!
Charlotte I am so sorry. You were a wonderful wife and caregiver to Richard. I am so glad Jeff and Kristi will be by your side. Love you. Take care of you now. Blessings and peace.
I am so sorry Charlotte..... I should have asked Sandra or someone to text me if this happened. I didn't get back from NW Arkansas until late last night and didn't get online. My thoughts are prayers have been with you over the weekend. Hugs to you my friend....
Keeping you in my prayers Charlotte take care of yourself
I know you are very busy getting things in order, but please let us know how you are.
When are you expecting Jeff and Kristi ?
I am fine. I've been busy. I had to go to Pine Bluff today and get all the paper work done at the funeral home and finalize some arrangements. Took me longer than I expected. Also trying to get some pictures printed to make some posters. That has turned into a real challenge! I have uploaded to two stores and both have had paper jams and not been able to get the prints for me! I sent them to a 3rd location. Getting ready to go pick them up. I hope they are actually ready. Then tomorrow morning Mary-Milam and I meet with the minister.
Jeff and Kristi will be here Wed afternoon. Jeff just called to check on me and he is really going to be doing some traveling. He just found out they are sending him to Germany and Switzerland on a special assignment next week. He has to be in Germany by Tues so rather than fly back home and then to Germany he is probably going to just fly to Germany from Little Rock. He and Kristi were in Italy on vacation and they just got home late Thursday night. Now he will be turning around and going back to Europe within a week!
Sounds like he is going to become quite the jet setter! I would love to go to Germany and Switzerland and, Italy too...... Clara, our exchange student from Italy is going to be finishing dental school next summer. She wants us to come to graduation and I am looking at options. She is actually in dental school in Madrid, Spain. My problem is when I start looking there are SO many different things I want to see in Europe that seeing them all will be impossible! If I can even work out us getting to go......
Kyle and Maddie are on the road on the way back from Galveston where she had interviews for the PA school there this afternoon. They won't get back to LR until around midnight and both have to be at work tomorrow. She sent Harding an email last Friday saying she was going to withdraw her application for the PA school there and decline the interview since she has been accepted to UAMS. Jessica's roommate now has an interview in the slot that Maddie opened up.....how ironic is that??
Speaking of interviews, Jessica will find out this Friday if she is accepted in the early admission round. I couldn't believe they would tell them in only a week - but at least we don't have to wait a month like we were expecting. 40 people interviewed on Friday...... They take 120 in rolling admissions but these were just the early admission candidates ( the ones who applied really early and agreed to go to UAMS and not apply anywhere else if accepted). They can choose to accept all 40 or none..... The ones that do not get accepted this Friday will still have a chance for acceptance as the rolling applications/admissions continue, but they will also have the opportunity to apply at other schools if they would like to do so.
Charlotte, do you have any one staying with you? I know Richard's daughter doesn't live very far away..... I know there is always a lot to take care of - hope you are able to get the posters printed that you want!
I don't have anyone staying with me. That doesn't bother me. As a matter of fact I stayed in all day yesterday trying to get some things done. I just needed some alone time.
Jeff and Kristi have both done a lot of work related travel as well as personal travel. Before kids they traveled all over Europe, went to New Zealand - sailed in the Caribbean from island to island. Not a lot of places they haven't been. Kristi did a lot of international travel before the boys were born and up until the twins were about a year old. She was a CPA and worked in the international division of her company. When they would acquire new companies she would be one of the ones to go and convert their accounting system to US standards. She did a lot of work in Japan and lots of countries in Europe. They both made the decision to stay close to home while the boys were growing up. Kristi become a stay at home mom for a number of years and Jeff went to work for a company just a short distance from their house.
Now that the kids are all out on their own Jeff changed to a different job (same company) that requires lots of travel. Also pays more money. Kristi works from home now and has her own business. Her specialty is small businesses. She's very good at cleaning up messes, forecasting cash flow, getting a business ready to sell, etc. She doesn't do taxes.
Glad you are doing ok, Charlotte. Have the puppies settled down now that you are home more?
If I were close I would come and help you do things.
You got the arrangements done today? I'd like to do something in Richard's memory. Hugs my friend!!!