Apropos of Nothing v.6

I have been reading along and thinking about everyone's comments. An interesting discussion, but what amazes me is the passion of the responses. So there may be spirits and angels, and magic crystals and orbs and whatever - so what? Those things all seem TO ME to be ways for people to connect to or channel their more spiritual selves. And God or gods? I see them also as conduits to our deeper, more elusive spiritual being. So for each person that path is most likely different, and some of us have found what works for us, and some of us haven't. What works for me is personal, and is not a "religion" or a church, but I do respect the fact that people the world over have found solace and peace in such places.

Finding grace in some whose choices have negatively impacted others is difficult for me. Like the mother of one of the first graders that I read with at a very needy elementary school. The boy is in foster care because his father is in prison and his mother has a boyfriend that smacks the kid across the head on a regular basis. Or the little girl whose parents make her wear her older brother's outgrown shoes, but the mom is a fashion plate of sorts. But then there is the wispy little girl whose parents speak only Spanish and are illiterate, but Daddy brings her to school in his ice-cream truck and straightens her hair bows and hugs and kisses her and she skips into the building with a big smile on her face. Now that's grace.

Now, the sprinkler woman. Please. We can't determine by the video if she has a very low intellectual capacity, or if she exists perhaps in a tight sphere of uneducated people with little exposure to the larger world, or if she is in need of some mental health care. To me, none of those situations is funny and now I wonder what exactly made me laugh at that video.

Summer - I like your sign, but would you feel the same about it if it were black with dead vines twisting around the letters? It's all in the presentation. Occasionally I don't want to get out of bed in the morning and I turn on the tv to watch CNN. Maybe if I hung a sign with the same sentiment over the tv screen it would be easier to leave the warmth of the flannel and blankets and step on the cold floor. As it is, the animals who share my home force me to the kitchen each morning.

Do things exist if we can't see them? Of course. And tinfoil on the head? If it's under the guidance of your hair stylist it's good. If you are wearing it while hiding under the bed with a hockey stick- not so much!

I need the grace because I have negatively affected others and I think all of us have. I expect concequences in this life from each action. Maybe not evident to the people around us but as the man who thumps on his child does in his mind.

Someone once said, "Judge not". Good idea.

I think we are all sanctimonious every now and then. It's a fine balance between sharing your truth and making final judgements as to the truth others should see. It's a comfortable place to be when you're not sure of your place in the world. Finding grace (and God) in things that make you uncomfortable is a challenge. What you see on the outside isn't always the entire truth of the situation - you may not like the act, but does that mean that the entire package isn't valuable?

I work every day to see past the act to the source. I'm not saying, by any means, that I've mastered it, but I believe it's a worthwhile effort. I believe wholeheartedly that in the karmic sense the INTENT speaks much louder than than the RESULT. So how does one reconcile that with living in a world of RESULTS?

The deputy (handsome, young, married - conservative, but we had a nice discussion, actually - he was a good guy) said that he does this job so others don't have to. That got me thinking. Basically, he's doing our dirty-work. Maintaining order is necessary for a society to survive. And I'm not likely to be the first one to step up and volunteer for that. Something to think about as we bury the sixth police officer in the last three months in this area to die a violent death.

I am pretty sure I know almost nothing. One thing I do know is the people who DO things are way ahead of the people who TALK about things. Like your wife, Sofer. She does. I talk, but I know I cannot do what she does. And you Portland, you DO.

One thing I found interesting. A long time ago there was this study about criminals and why they did what they did. Not the evil ones who killed for joy but the ones that were guily of a single crime. Like killing a spouse. This group found in many criminal minds, there were few options. Like when you panic and say, I can run, I can yell, I can kill. Only the "kill" one came up as an option. So when asked why the did it, they say, I dunno. But when questioned further the investigators found there was just the one option that popped into the persons head. He felt if you could train people at a young age so their brains would provide options, lots of crimes would be stopped. I have no idea if any of this is correct but it could be.

I live very close to Pelican Bay Prison. There are no jobs here and so many people tell me to go and work for the prison. It pays very well and has great benefits. I have driven by it many times and there is no way I could face going in there every day, its such an oppresive place. My neighbor, who used to be perky, got a job there. She talked to me last week and said she is so depressed and just wants to stay in bed and hibernate. I asked her it was the job. Oh, no, she says, I love my job. I wonder if anyone could really love going in there everyday and have it not affect them. But I do know I am pretty weak when it comes to that kind of thing so maybe most would not be bothered. I would have to be very, very hungry to take that job.

"he does this job so others don't have to"

So much in the perspective. I was a police officer for many years and I loved it.....

I could never be a vet like sofer (although I do it when I have to) it would be too hard to let animals go that could be saved by money.

My daughter is a teacher. I couldn't do that on a daily basis..It''s not the kids mostly but the parents.

Ginger

Rebeccanne, my DOING is minimal. A few hours a week sitting down with some cute little kids one-on-one to help them with their reading. I think I get more out of it than they do. Being able to read is not an option.

I once did a project in a prison in Monroe, Washington, and it was the first time I had been in a prison and the first time I had actually even thought about a prison. Monroe is a model prison with many rehabilitative programs. It was difficult because it is a parallel universe, so to speak, and I didn't want to acknowledge that there are so many people living their lives in prison. The most difficult was becoming familiar with the needs of both the offenders and the staff in the area for the criminally insane. I would not want to go there every day! It has to affect you. Then there was the minimum security area that held the young first time offenders and their lives could have been so much better.......
My last significant other has just retired form the bench, a superior court judge in LA. He sometimes sentenced people to Pelican Bay but reserved that for the worst offenders. it is reputed among judges to be the worst prison. I can't even imagine what it must be like.

On a lighter note, I am listening to this at work. It's one of my favorite CD's and I'd recommend it highly. In fact, the whole series is good. It's just that this one is outstanding.

http://www.putumayo.com/en/catalog_item.php?album_id=203

This will lift your heart and make you want to learn a little Italian.

There is a journalist, Ted Conover, who has gone "undercover" in very dangerous situations to record what some peoples' lives are really like. His first (and best, I think) is "Coyotes," in which he traveled with the Mexican migrants who sneak over from Mexico. It was chilling & depressing to see what torments & abuse those men endure just to find work.

His latest book is "Newjack." He had wanted some access to New York State's prisons to study the conditions but had been denied, so he applied to be a guard & was, ironically, accepted. He worked in Sing Sing & it was horrifying -- he was terrified, demoralized & I don't even think he lasted 9 months.

Very interesting.

http://www.tedconover.com/

"Whiteout" was interesting too, but not as memorable because it was an exploration of the fantasyland that is Aspen.

Katie, I'm so sorry someone stole your jewelry! I hope it wasn't your dog sitter. Interestingly, we had a woman who was a dog sitter several years ago. She is now in prison for systematically stealing things from people's homes. I think it started with small things, like the Christmas cookies she stole out of our freezer. She graduated to peoples fine art collections. The worst part was I don't think she even walked my dogs.

Soferdig, I think it's too late for you to avoid working with people who are 'involved' with the dark side of life. I'm sure you see people who mistreat animals. I knew you would enjoy despair.com.

Particularly well said: Someone once said, "Judge not". Good idea.

I could not work in a prison. I once had a client who worked at McNeil Island, the prison here. She was a lovely young woman, completely depressed. I think her job was sucking out her soul. Just being there was hard for her. Some places are like that. I could never go into the DSHS building in Tacoma back when I worked for an agency. It just made me feel depressed to walk inside the building.

Sad thing is, prison jobs probably draw more sadists than gentle souls.

Yeah, probably. But any job that pays a living wage and offers benefits draws single mothers who are trying to support their kids.

I'm 95% sure it was the sitter or her boyfriend as it was only 3 pieces that were in a drawer. The heartbreaking part is that a couple of them were recently received from my Mom, who is probably in the process of dying and that's where I was at Christmas.

Anyway, the Sheriff led me to believe that the pawn shops have great systems for recordkeeping and that it probably was pawned right away, so there's some chance I'll get it back.

Of course, in future I now can't leave town to see my mom without paying for boarding for all 5 dogs. I don't think I'll ever have a house sitter again . . .

I think that, in most cases, to every dark side there is a light one. The dark may be what we see first, but everyone was once a newborn, full of potential and hope. Isn't the challenge to see any light that remains without being overwhelmed by the dark or selling yourself out to it. You know, keeping your emotional boundaries doesn't necessarily mean that you have to close your eyes when you're out or just plain stay home.

This message was edited Jan 6, 2010 8:51 PM

I do hope you get your jewelry back and that they can prove who took it. It's such a nasty thing to steal from someone who has entrusted their home to you.

Yes, I think the challenge is to recognize the darkness without allowing it to be front and center, and to realize that you can exist without being drawn into it. I think we agree on that one.

Thank you. Me too. Of course, now I feel that I need to change all the locks on the doors. The sitter asked whether I was going to pay her (thank goodness I didn't leave cash as I usually do). I feel like I need to deduct what I would have paid her from the cost of changing all the locks and then bill her for the difference!!

One of my sons' is a counselor at a prison. His wife works there, also. He gets after me all the time for my too trusting ways. He sees so much of the dark side of people on a daily basis, much more than I can imagine. I couldn't do it, I would be a basket case.

Apropos of nothing, I got a new tattoo today. :)

Holy cow. Or horse. Holy ow.

it's a dark horse! LOL!!!

No, it's PONY!

Speaking of prisons...I found some bread that looked interesting. It was called Dave's Killer Bread and had lots of nuts and stuff. I love this bread. I finally decided to read what was on the bag, it was really interesting. Probably everyone else knows about this bread and the strory but here in this teeny tiny town, its seldom we even get new products. But if you don't know this bread its really, really good. I have not tried any of the others by this company but I will. It also shows how far someone can go if they really want to.
http://www.daveskillerbread.com/

Katie, you might be able to get a house sitter by someone who does home help, social services may have a list of names. Their backgrounds are checked and around here, a few of them do housesitting. And no one has ever had anything stolen that I know of.

Summer- yes. Ow. A lot. ;)

Pix- the design was inspired by a banner of Rohan in LOTR. :)

rebeccanne- that bread sounds SO good. I bet I would love it. Hubby doesn't like bread with lots of seeds/nuts in it, but maybe I can get it just for me sometime.

Thanks, rebeccaanne, that's a good thought. I found this gal through my vet's office. But then, I guess I've learned that just because one sibling's trustworthy, it doesn't mean her sister is.

That bread sounds awesome.

Pony, how long did that tattoo take? Seems like it must have been awhile. Did they do it all in one sitting?

Just read through the Dave's Killer Bread article - incredibly interesting. I just find myself wondering about the brother's story - somehow he managed to sustain some link with his repeat offender brother, and despite everything, still take him back into the company. Sheesh. Amazing family.

Thanks, rebeccanne.

Now you will always be "Pony" . It looks like the head of "Bucephalous" Alexander the greats famous horse.

Wow, Pony, that is some tatoo! You are so brave.
That bread does look good, I would love to try it.

Beautiful design on the tattoo. And yes, like OUCH! Love LOTR also.

MY DH's DD is a corrections officer. Handles parolees. Mostly the X Offenders. Tales to tell, all horrible.

Thanks, Guys!

Katie- it took a little over 2 hours, and it was all done in one sitting.

This is my 8th tat. I think I may be done now. But I won't swear to it. ;)

Okay- better photo. Daylight let the color show much more clearly...

Nice tat pony!! My son has an iguana crawling around his arm, it's awesome!!

Costco carries that bread, I've heard a lot of people rave about it.

The bread IS excellent - the price is not. But if Costco carries it, the price will be easier to swallow.

Pony - it's lovely & so very you! =:0)

Katye, how are you feeling> I haven't talked to you in ages. Are you going to Pixy's on the 30th?

howdy, Lynn! I am fine as can be - thanks for asking.
Yes I am planning to be there, seeds & all. Original caveat was "as long as there is no snow".
i will probably bring along something disgustingly chocolatety, too.

Your wonderful brownies, perhaps?
Pixy, would you like me to bring some wine?

You won't need wine with Kayte's magic Brownies. LOL

Appropos of nothing.... I have just been released from "the invasion of the inlaws". Don's parents stayed with us from the 24th of December to the 5th of January, and I have been going insane. Not that I don't like them....it has just been a bit too much togetherness in our teeny tiny little house. I have been kept from using my laptop (too much stuff/people in the way to find a place to plug it in), my home computer (MIL almost constantly in front of it), my TV (FIL almost constantly in front of it), my couch to read (FIL has to sit somewhere to watch TV right?), my dining table (holding MIL's misc everything)....... DH said that I shouldn't complain, because at least I "had to do that inconvienient thing like going to work" for many hours, and fortunately on the days that my office was closed, there were several periods of somewhat decent weather that let me hide outside. I could rant forever I am afraid, but that at least got it off my chest a bit and now I am FREE FREE FREE FREE!!!!!!

I am sorry that I missed the long conversation above.... there were sevral wonderful insights. I will refrain from adding anything other than it is my firm belief that if you go through this life with your eyes and heart closed to the possibilities of the unknown that the world holds, you will live a very dull and shallow life indeed.

Pony, your new addition is great! The color of the outline almost makes it look like it glows.... nice choice, and how appropriate!

Oh Julie. How can you avoid that scenario in the future? Sending the TV out "for repairs" might be a good start.

Or.......she could put tinfoil on her head and get rid of all electronics.......

That might convince said in-laws to find another place to stay altogether! Sounds like the best idea yet.

MMM, Kayte's chocolate concoctions. Yum!
Lynn, if you want to bring wine that's fine. We usually have a bottle or two around, and I will also be providing non alcoholic drinks for those who fall asleep at the first taste of wine.