Heidi Chronicles - Make Room For Baby

pics from tonight. Echo coming to get a peanut

Echo walking up on hind legs to take the peanut. Echo's is a little bit timid. Most of the time she hugs the shrubs. Here the camera in my other hand is a little intimidating for her but she came up anyhow.

echo leaving. she's not running from me but from the other raccoons who also want the peanut.

Knowing the raccoons as I do, I can also see me getting run over when they stop in the middle of the interstate to have one of those "stop touching me" arguments.

Here is the end standoff after a fight that broke out tonight. I pushed the button when it started, and the thing was over before the shutter closed. The one on the left is Reba. (Oops! Just realized Freida sounds too much like Reba. Oh well, Reba doesn't know her name anyhow.) I think the one bottom right is Mishka. Not sure who the other one is. It might be Freida.

Here's a pic of Reba (right) and Mishka in the pool hoping I will throw them a peanut.

Bast. blurry because she's so far away. Note red area on right. That's the back leg.

Bast looking around.

Found a better one. Bast again. She's looking at a raccoon sneaking around on the other side of the tractor scoot. She looks pretty good compared to her earlier pics, I think, but if you look to the right you can see her back legs lying limply to one side.

Mishka. I'm pretty sure this is one of Dennis' kits. I thought that for the longest time. She is very small although quite fiesty. She is the smallest one out there. She is also very dark in color as both of Dennis' kits were. Recently, when she started eating out of the side of Heidi's melons and Heidi let her do that, I though maybe she was actually Heidi's 'missing' 4th kit. Still I was never very happy with that idea since none of Heidi's 08 kits was small like that. But at that time I just could not image Heidi letting anyone except one of her kits share her melon. Now that I've watched Heidi give up both her melon and her cat food for her other grand Frieda, it only makes sense that this really is Dennis' kit, Heidi's grand daughter. Near the end of last summer when Dennis wasn't around much if at all, it often looked as though Heidi had adopted those 2 kits. They would hang around with her a lot probably for protection at the buffet.

Ruth,

I usually come in from the buffet feeling better than when I went out.

I only hope that Bast will eventually be able to get around well enough to take care of herself and have a relatively normal life and that she will not be in a lot of pain. But only time will tell, I guess. You said something that I myself had clung to when wondering if I did the right thing, that being the fact that Bast seems to be asking/looking for help as apposed to just going off somewhere to give up and die.

Bast stretching a bit to eat food around her

another

Bast is definitely looking better, Cheryl - which is not to say that she looks great, but she no longer has that drawn/emaciated/about to expire look as in the earlier shots. IMHO, you're doing the right thing by giving her a chance; only time, and lots of it, will tell what her life will be like in the long run. The only sure thing is that she could not have survived without your help.

Thanks, Ruth,

It is good to hear that you also see improvement. To me she looks much better than she did a few weeks back, but it is good to get a 2nd opinion. A few weeks back she really looked as though she was just one missed meal short of death. Back then I was quite literally afraid if I missed a single night she might not make it. I don't feel that way now. I still think she needs help, but the situation just doesn't seem so dire anymore.

I also see improvement in her mood and demeanor. She is much more alert now. She is definitely eating more and longer. Before she only stayed a few minutes, maybe 10-15 at most. I would give her 1 to 2 handfuls, and after picking at it for a little while she would leave most of it behind when she left. That's what prompted me to look for food like the coconut oil and kitten food that would get max calories in the tiny bit she ate. Now I'm giving her 4 or 5 heaping handfuls, roughly the same as Heidi, and she stays for an hour or so, eats at a good clip, finishes it all, and wants more. Every night for the past 3 or 4 days I've been increasing her food and still she keeps needing more. I figure that's a very good sign.

Now if she can just keep from going back down again as it seems she has been on a topsy turvey roller coaster ride since the initial incident.

BTW, although I still have to use my water, I mean lemonade, bottle occasionally to reinforce the rules, lately even the late shifters don't bother Bast much. Apparently, they have learned that it is useless to go over there because they will just get a face full of lemonade and no food. I didn't realize I was the cause of their new found good behavior until one night when I ran back to the house for some eggs and returned to find Bast gone and a bunch of yearlings over there finishing up her food. I figure they booted her out just as soon as got out of sight. Luckily, it was near the end of the night, so she had already eaten most of her meal.

Now I'm going to have to apologize again because this post is not about raccoons. I'm not sure what it's about. So many thoughts are flooding my brain. I think maybe the main subject is the fragility of life and the realization that every second is precious.

This morning started out like any other morning, beautiful and sunny, but it was not to end that way. Oh, it is still sunny outside and still a gorgeous day from the standpoint of weather, but something tragic was to happen on this day.

Traffic was almost non-existent until I reached the the last mile or so of my journey, and then I was plunged all to swiftly into an endless sea of cars all jammed into minimal space and going nowhere at all, the mother of all traffic jams. As I sat there counting the minutes, thinking of how I would have to work to make up the time, and feeling a growing frustration and anger at being stuck in this horrible mess, I reminded myself that this kind of highway stagnation almost always means an accident has occurred. I said a silent prayer for the stranger(s) out there somewhere, probably injured, who had been in this accident, and reminded myself how lucky I was to be sitting here rather than there at the apex of it all.

Eventually and slowly the traffic moved enough for me to get to work. It was only then upon my arrival at the office that I learned that the person at the summit of that traffic jam had not been a stranger after all. She was a colleague and friend of mine...and she was dead. It was all so unreal. I had just spoken with her the day before. She had been so alive. How could she now be dead? No, it couldn't be. It just couldn't be. There had to be some mistake...

I wanted to know more. What had happened to her. I needed information. She couldn't just be gone that way without information. From what I had been told, it sounded as though she had died suddenly, and I wanted that to be so. I went back to my desk and checked the local news websites in hopes of finding out. What I found there was just simply beyond all belief.

I don't know about where you live, but around here you had better not stop for a yellow light. A large majority of people here run right on through yellow and into red. It's crazy, I think. Yellow is there for a purpose. I gives us a buffer between green and red so that one lane doesn't start going before the other stops, but somewhere along the line people got the idea that you don't need to stop until you see the red light, and the idea was apparently contagious because now everyone is doing it. In fact, many drivers appear to think of yellow as a sign to speed up to be sure you make it through before red. If you stop for yellow and don't get run over, you are very lucky. I've been hit twice now for doing that very thing. To tell you the truth, I'm down right afraid to stop on yellow anymore.

She was only a few blocks from her destination on a lovely, sunny summer day under a picture perfect azure sky. The whole day loomed before her like a blank canvas onto which she might paint anything she liked. She had a good job. A wonderful family. So much to look forward to.

Then the light turned yellow, and she stopped. But the 18 wheeler behind her could not stop. It's driver had planned for her to go through that light and him with her. He hadn't given any thought to this possibility, so now here he was sitting on the brake knowing there was no chance for him to stop all those tons of metal and cargo in time. Then the idea came to him in a flash. As one last ditch manuever to avoid smashing into the small car sitting in front of him, the driver swerved into the adjoining lane.

Now all was safe. He would miss her completely, except...except that the rig he was pulling, the rig loaded to capacity and possibly over its weight limit could not make that sudden turn. The combination of sudden braking and sudden turning sent the rig past the truck. For a moment time stood still as the big rig jackknifed there in the lane beside the car, and when everything came to rest, the rig toppled onto the car crushing it.

And that was that. It was all over in an instant. She had only stopped for a yellow light. Now she was dead. It wasn't the sort of thing one should have to die for especially at the beginning of this beautiful, sunny, summer day under an azure sky.

((((Cheryl))))) I am so so sorry....there is no words to comfort you. I can say it was quick...and she didn't suffer. But it seems so cold and heartless. Now her family and friends suffer.

When I was a teenager, 15 to be exact, I was in an accident with a tractor trailer, not hurt....but saw the damage they can do....they are frightening regardless of their load. The drivers are usually trying to beat a schedule they have to stay on....and get home to family.

Again, I am so very sorry for the loss of your coworker and friend.

Many hugs,

Debbie

That just nearly breaks my heart, Cheryl.
I am so sorry.

((((Cheryl))))

Oh, we just never know. That is so terribly sad and unfair to her! and her family and even you.

I feel so bad for you.

Big Hugs,
Susan
=^..^=

How horrible! OMG, I am so sorry.

Thank you all very much for all of the kind words. It was all so difficult to sort out and make sense of, so hard to work after starting the day with this news. I apologize for burdening you with it. I just needed to talk about it. Talking to you about it was cathartic. After telling you, I slept for a while.

When I awoke I didn't want to go out to feed the raccoons, but then there was Bast. So I felt I had to go out for her. Bast ate for an hour and a half by which time I actually felt much better. It really is very difficult to spend an hour and a half with raccoons and not feel better.

This time Bast helped me more than I helped her. At times like these when your heart says to just stay in bed, it pays to have someone [like Bast] whose welfare depends on you forcing yourself to get up and get going however much you may resent it at the moment.

I am feeling considerably better now. We (her friends and work family) have planned some things to help us and her [actual] family. We are planning a candlelight vigil next week at the time of the accident. We are also making plans to coordinate our efforts and provide food & beverages for the family daily over the next few weeks so they won't have to deal with that aspect of daily life.

Thank you again. I truly appreciate that you are there for me. Now I'm not going to mention this again. I'm going to get back to raccoons - although maybe tomorrow.

Ok, I know this is going to be just totally anticlimactic I know, but I feel the need to get back to normalcy and so back to the story of raccoons, so here is a little snippet from last night. With all those hungry mouths out there, I decided now would be an excellent time to try to pawn some of those expired dinners off on them. I have a bunch of expired entrees, fully cooked, boxed, hermetically sealed, ready to heat and eat, mostly chicken fillets with rice and sauce. The raccoons hate them normally, but right now they are hungry enough to eat any real food, so with more raccoons than kibble, now is a perfect time to use up those dinners.

Last night I took out 3 of them. Each chicken entree is in about a 5x7 microwavable dish. I had barely put the 1st dish of chicken breast fillet with rice and sauce (up to the rim) down when one of the raccoons ran up and grabbed it. Frequently, when raccoons try to pick dishes up and run with them, they end up spilling the contents everywhere only to arrive at their destination with an empty dish, but this raccoon was no neophyte. She actually grabbed the container in her mouth, lifted it up into the air, and ran across the yard with it all the while keeping the container perfectly horizontal, no small feat considering the dish was about 3/4 of an inch deep. Just a little too much or too little pressure on that edge and the dish would have flipped up or down, but she actually managed to hold the dish so straight that she didn't even spill the sauce. I was so impressed. I watched her every step of the way and just marveled at her skill. In fact, I was so fixated on this spectacle that it was only after she had put the dish down again at her destination that I recalled I was holding a camera - and never once thought to take a picture. I was too busy watching. It was incredible to see.

One last try. Bast is really showing signs of improvement now. She is getting some personality back now. And she might be getting just a little spoiled - but in a good way since she needs it right now. The past day or so I've noticed that she shows up, sits down, and looks over at me like, "Can I get some service over here, please". She just expects me to come over and fill her imaginary plate. But most of all she looks oddly 'happy' or upbeat lately when she shows up for dinner, something I haven't seen in ages from Bast.

So sorry about your co-worker, Cheryl. You're right, life is ever so fragile and precious; sad that it takes a tragedy to remind us how true that is. In Philly where I grew up, the cops would ticket you for going through a yellow light, even at slow or normal speed. All of us deeply resented that, since yellow does not officially mean stop; but having lived with all the irrational driving behavior you describe since leaving Philly, I now appreciate why the police take that approach. Like you, I've learned the hard way that it simply isn't safe in most locations to actually stop at a yellow light. But when I return to Philly to visit my mother, I have to relearn or pay the price in an expensive ticket.

Glad to hear that your time with the raccoon family was therapeutic, and of course that's no surprise. The changes in Bast's behavior/mood are even more encouraging than the changes in her appearance; they are definite signs that she is feeling much better. And as far as being spoiled, I wouldn't worry; unlike most of the clan, Bast will always need your support if she survives. So you're not creating a monster, you're just acknowledging the fact of her dependence (lol).

Tonight the crowd scarfed down 8 scoops of cat food, 4 individually packaged dinner entrees, 1/2 bag of oatmeal cookies, and an order of bread sticks from the local pizza joint. When the food was running low, they argued over those bread sticks, one yearling holding either end of the same stick for a moment or two.

I had only been taking out 3 or 4 pkg of the entrees per night because I wasn't at all sure if they were actually eating them. The entrees were always long gone by morning, but I didn't want to be feeding field mice or anything like that. But now after a few days of receiving those entrees the hungry yearlings are learning. They will walk past those entrees as long as they have cat food, but after they start arguing over the last few bits of kibble, the smart ones have learned to hurry back and grab one of those chicken fillets while they are still available. They may not taste as good as cat food, but they are high in protein and they do fill the tummy. By the end of the night tonight, I watched one raccoon lapping up the last of the marinara sauce from a container that had previously held a cheese ravioli entree.

Seeing that the hungry raccoons really are eating those entrees, tomorrow I will load up and take more out each day - in hopes of getting rid of them while there are so many nursing moms out there to do the work. I have a huge supply of those things and a lot of hungry raccoons. It's a match made in heaven. Tonight I learned that they actually like freeze dried hamburger and cheeseburger patties. I guess those have a quality more like cat food. Unfortunately, I have a lot more chicken breast fillets [not dried] in sauce than hamburger patties.

Bast was there again tonight. Again tonight she seemed to be in a very good mood. She ate all of the food I gave her plus the extra I held back just in case. Then she sat there looking over at me to see if I would give her more. Her appetite is absolutely better.

Now if you've slogged your way through all of that crap about food to get down to here, I have a little bit of good news for you. Tonight was like any other night until Heidi climbed the fence and up into the tree to leave. That's when I heard the very clear sign of kits talking to her and her to them. They are some 2.5 months old, and she is stashing them in the Heidi tree now while she eats. It can't be long now because those kits are getting to big to stay in that tree for very long.

Ruth,

LOL, That last line is funny! You sneaked that one in there, didn't you? I sure hope she won't be dependent on me forever. Supplying the food is one thing. Having to stay out there for an hour or more every night forever to defend her is another.

Bast's situation also shows how things can turn in an instant. Before she was injured, Bast was the last one out there who would ever need protection. Bast didn't mess with others (well, most of the time), but she didn't take any crap either. The others didn't try to take Bast's food back then. Now even with me supplying the food she would still starve without someone to guard it for her.

I guess the only thing we can take from all of this is the time worn lesson to live every day to its fullest - of course, sometimes a good and much coveted afternoon nap IS living to the fullest.

BTW, you won't believe the dog toy I saw recently in one of those high end catalogs. Junk mail. Just browsing. Anyhow, they had a toy, stuffed I think, shaped like a wine bottle. It had a picture of a dog on the front and the label: Dog Vineyards.

I couldn't find that one, but here is another product on that theme: http://www.inthecompanyofdogs.com/itemdy00.asp?c=06&SKW=toys+treats&SKW2=&TKW=&Scat=Y&GEN1=Dog+Toys+%26+Treats&OR=Y&parent=1&T1=D75140+BDY&PageNo=3&pos=3

I've been receiving these catalogs for years, and I never saw any of the vineyard items until recently. Coincidence?

That's hilarious!! Maybe one of your former co-workers took a job designing dog toys, and your bottle from Heidi Vineyards gave him an idea? If so, he needs to be paying you royalties! LOL

Hi Marylyn,

It sure does seem awfully coincidental, doesn't it? If one of those guys who called my gag gift 'lame' did that, I would be fighting mad after they spoke so poorly of the idea. Another idea come to mind though. DG is a big place with a vast audience many of whom lurk the threads clothed in anonymity - not that there is anything wrong with that as I myself am inclined to lurk hear and there about the threads. Sometimes I like to read but don't feel so much like talking - as difficult as that is to imagine. (LOL) Anyhow, one never knows who might come browsing through...

I must say, however, that I was quite astonished to see the Dog Vineyard toys. Shoot! There goes our marketing scheme for Heidi paraphernalia to accompany the NY Times Best Seller book series. ; )

Ok, just for the record, I did submit a very, very last minute story to that writing contest. But I have to tell you that I'm not getting my hopes up at all for the following reasons:

(1) The limit was 500 words. 500! That is roughly the size of my opening paragraph! For me the challenge to convey a story complete with some sort of climax in a mere 500 words was daunting to say the least. 500 words seems hardly adequate to setup the theme much less tell some kind of story complete with a middle and ending. But I did my best. Just trying to think up a story that could fit within that limit was a nightmare for me. It seemed every idea I had contained to many aspects, twists, and turns to possibly be thus contained. Finally, I chopped a sliver out of a story idea and told it with utmost brevity, something which I think detracts from my style - and then it was only some 700+ words! So I went back and butchered the thing again, cutting out everything I thought I could possibly live without and still have a cohesive thought in there somewhere. Slimming that thing down to under 500 words was not easy, but after much, brutal pruning, I finally got there.

(2) I didn't want to tell you this, but I have no clue how to talk to children. Sorry, but it's true. No children. No idea how to relate to them. I have always hated those awkward moments when some assuming person walks up and hands me a baby to hold onto for them, and there I am so busted, holding the thing out at arms length not knowing what to do with it. I'm always terrified I'll break them. Aren't they fragile or something?

The last time this happened, a guy at work had his baby with him for some reason & the next thing I knew he was shoving it at me and saying something about how he would be right back. There I was in my business suit holding the thing by the waist, bouncing it on my knee, and praying it wouldn't see through my ineptitude and start screaming at the top of its lungs - because I have no idea what to do when that happens! Thankfully, the kid found my lack of parenting skills amusing and started laughing at me. I spent the next 10 min or so making faces at the baby to keep it laughing until the father finally returned to save me from the terrifying creature.

I can write for a adults. I can tone that down and remove any untoward references to write for 12 yr olds, but as I have no idea how to communicate with small children, I can't very well write for them. I don't speak their language. I didn't want to have to tell you this. I didn't want to ruin anyone's view of me. So there it is. I'm an engineer. When kids start asking me things like why is the sky blue I launch into a thesis about refracted light and the particles that make up the atmosphere. Then there eyes roll back in their heads and they start to look like they are having a petite mal seizure or something.

So I tried to just write. Leaving out the big words wasn't that much of drag on my style since I don't use that many anyhow. The bigger problem as I saw it was the need to omit references, allusions, and metaphors dealing with things someone of that age would not likely know about yet. That hacked away at what I believe to be one of the better features of my writing. Still, painful though it was, I went the Nike way and "just did it".

So there you have it. The challenge to squish a whole story into 500 words and write it for an audience to which I am largely unable to communicate effectively left me with little of literary merit. All of the whimsical, funny, or otherwise interesting moments in Heidi Land either involved the taboo subject of human-raccoon interaction or were far to complex to convey in 500 words or involved themes that would likely not be of interest to small children. Often what made a particular moment amusing was its human analog, something about which very young children would not likely be aware. So by the time I cut out all of these things and slashed enough story and description to come in under that work limit, I'm not overly excited about what was left, and since I don't speak children-ese I have no idea if they might find it at all interesting.

People who do know how to speak to children come up with all those wacky, zany, silly things that children love like a cat in a hat, a willy wonk chocolate factory, and such. I think that is probably what they are really looking for.

But, for what it's worth, I did submit a story. I greatly appreciated that you told me about it and that you kept after me and encouraged me, and so as much for you as for me, I gave it my best shot. I told a very brief story about Mrs Raccoonsworth, a suburban raccoon, taking her children out for a very special trip, their 1st every lesson on raiding the bird feeder. (But I still have much, much greater hope for the book I'm writing for the youth and adult audience.)

BTW, I would have loved to have gotten your feedback on the story, but I did it the way I do most things, at 50 minutes past the 11th hour, so there wasn't time. I had to cut Bast's dinner short - she had eaten for an hour already and was just search the area for any fallen bits here and there - to come inside and hack out and whittle down a story. I had been working on it in my head for months though often while driving to and from work and such.

You caught that last line, eh? Well, don't worry overmuch. If Bast survives, I'm sure she'll eventually reach the point where she can defend the food for herself; but I'm equally sure she'll always need help with the supply side. Any limb impairment would impair her mobility enough to make it unlikely she can consistently find enough food on her own. And that's assuming she'll never have the burden of trying to carry or raise kits, god forbid. Hopefully nature will curtail her heat cycles so we won't have to attempt the nearly impossible.

Good luck with the story contest. BTW, I have exactly the same problem with small children. Was the youngest in my family, never married, have no nieces or nephews, so I too have absolutely no idea how to talk to little kids. I try to avoid "talking down" to them, which I always hated as a child, so wind up (much like you) boring them senseless with stuff beyond their knowledge or interests.

Speaking of children, here's a totally OT story that might appeal to fellow gardeners. While I was recently visiting with my mother, we heard the news that one of my older cousins had just died. Said cousin was a pretty remarkable lady: she and her husband were among the pioneers of organic gardening, created and managed a small organic farm for years, and she wrote several early books on growing organically. My mother is too frail at this point to travel to her memorial service, but she wanted to write some anecdotes of Nancy's life to share with her family. She told the story of a time when Nancy was just a toddler, and my aunt (who was the gardener of her generation) took Nancy for a walk in her stroller. As they passed a particularly pretty garden full of blossoms, she said, "Nancy, look at all the pretty flowers." Nancy happily chortled "Coreopsis" in response; my aunt never got over that one. No need to talk down to that kid!

Scutler, good for you! Even if I could have entered the contest, I doubt that I could write a young children's story either. Maybe for about a sixth grade level, but no younger. I raised two kids and really didn't do very well with them until they were in middle school. So I understand the challenge it was for you, but I am sure you are your own worst critic.

Great story, Spartacusaby.

Had to share this photo that came to me in an email of cute animal photos. Life is very different for urban raccoon babies; not at all the same as waiting for mom in the Heidi tree!

Great for entering the contest! As a mom and nana...I still don't know how to talk to kids..never have been one of those people! LOL

I'm glad you entered the contest! It sounds like the storyline you picked was perfect! And the stories my girls like the best aren't the ones that "talk down" to kids. They like the ones which treat them like people! I'll bet they'd like yours. (Of course both their daddy and I were engineering majors, too, so they're pretty familiar with the word "refract". LOL) I would have the same trouble staying under 500 words. I wrote this for my nephew and niece: http://picasaweb.google.com/commerce.acct/MouseSGreatAdventure?feat=directlink I just started to count words after reading your post - and I hit 100 on page 4. There are 41 pages, so I'm sure I went WAY over 500! Brevity is not my long suit. LOL

That was a great story, Ruth - and an adorable photo!!

Just to put this into perpective, If you open Word and start typing (using default font, margins and such, single spaced), 500 words is approximately 3/4 of a page! You really can't develop much in the way of a story with that few words. I think I had to slice and dice and chop out everything that makes my writing 'mine'. I was left with:

Mrs Raccoonsworth took the kids to the feeder.
They ate seeds.
It was fun.
The End.

; )

I'm at work right now but look forward to reading the story after.

Marilyn that was such a cute story. I enjoyed reading it.

Cheryl I am so very sorry about your friend. You are so right we should live each day as if it was our last for we never know. I just love the song by Tim McGraw, Live Like You Were Dying. But we just carry on like we have much more time than we may have.

Good for you in finishing the story. I am sure it is a great one! You know all of us here will love it.

Ruth that picture is so cute.

Judy

Hi Judy,

OMG, I LOVE that song, too! I can't hear it without welling up and having to choke back tears. It is such a beautiful song in every way.

Many threads and a few years ago in discussing the dangers of raccoons, I made a statement that driving to work is probably the most dangerous thing I do. That is true for many of us just from a statistical point of view; however, here it may be especially so because of the extremely high percentage of large trucks on the roads. We are, after all, a port city. With all manner of goods coming in and going out from the ports daily, the highways here especially in certain areas are crowded with 18 wheelers hauling freight to and from the ports.

In truth, 2x daily I travel a section of interstate that is absolutely clogged with large trucks so much so that is just a normal occurrence for me to find myself with a couple of these trucks in front and back of me and another in the next lane over. When I think about it, sometimes it feels a little scary to be in a little Honda sandwiched between all of those massive trucks, but some days there is just no alternative for there can at times be more trucks than cars out there. I usually think of the truck drivers as better and more professional drivers than most of the other motorists. Still, it is frightful to imagine what could happen if any one of us in that caravan of tiny cars and giant trucks makes a simple mistake.

If you need proof of the incidence of large trucks of all kinds on that section of interstate, freight trucks, rock and gravel trucks, lumber trucks, gas and hazardous chemical trucks, etc, you have only to look at the windshield of my car. Every one of my last 3 cars had not one but several chips and cracks and stars on the windshield. It's just an inescapable hazard of driving that stretch of road. My 'new' car which I've had for about a year now just recently got its 1st star on the windshield. I have just come to the conclusion that these rock dings are unavoidable and all the more reason not to buy a shiny new car to drive on that stretch of highway each day.

Best to live like we are dying for sure.