Lets see how many we can come up with. Can you tell the gears in my head have been turning LOL.
Just when you find the perfect spot for a new plant, you dig up a batch of spring bulbs hidden under the ground.
All the small leaks in the hose are on the drive way or side walk not in the flower beds.
Just for Fun, Gardener's Murphy Laws
Any spot that you choose to plant a tree eventually turns out to be a problem.
No matter how many weeds you pull, more return.
Chuckle!!
Whatever tool you really need, it's on the other side of the yard.
Whatever job you plan leads to one that needs a different tool.
Whatever job you start leads to three more that need to be done.
The chain reaction effect of gardening- my dad and I had a good laugh over that recently. Some people do one job and finish it. We start one, then .......
Whatever time is allotted for a garden project will coincide with some weather phenomenon of biblical proportions - like 3" of rain in two hours on the day you have set aside to plant bulbs, or mow the lawn, etc.
Looking at gardening websites & catalogs is not for the weak wallet!
Just as the largest weed you are pulling out lets go and you fall on your butt a neighbor drives by and catches the action.
oh, I'm just sure that same neighbor sees me trip over the fence every time
The cat will show no interest in the window shelf whatsoever, until the day AFTER you load it with plants.
Plant a Red Maple tree seedling and the neighbors horse will eat it.
Plant a Dogwood seedling and the bunnies will eat it.
Plant a Pear tree and the goat will eat it.
Plant anything and the groundhogs will eat it.
Great thread Lady and you guys are all right on. LOL
Whenever you plan to go out and just smell the roses in the garden, you end up going back to get the secateurs, loppers and gloves. from the shed
Whenever you get busy and go out into the garden with the secateurs and loppers and gloves, you always end up just smelling the roses.
That look of awe when that first MG and/or cypress vine seed sprouts the first year....will be replaced next year by the look of horror as both vines attempt to consume your tree - yard.....well anything they can climb...
This message was edited Nov 22, 2008 11:29 PM
Heyyy!!! You are are describing my yearly gardening woes!
Hmmmm...Need to add something to this Essay......
YES! I can totally identify with the digging up of the existing bulbs!!! They seem to be everywhere! God grant me the serenity to mark those spots for next year!!!......But--I cannot. as they are EVERYWHERE!!!!! As I dig--I slice the bulbs in half and then go----"Oh, my God!"--what are THESE???????
Luckily, I have a good, compulsive memory of what is where. So, this happens only once in a while......
chuckles, snorts guffaws...BNV, FF and C and c and other s and G and HA
If you manage to mark them, The one bulb clump whose marker gets lost will be the one bulbs someone notices and humbly asks if you can share.
No matter how nice the shoes, they always end up in a garden at some point.
Trees that are heeled into the edge of the garden just to overwinter, take a chainsaw to remove 5 years later.
Oh how true these all are, Ric and I are really enjoying this thread. LOL
Sally---
chuckles, snorts guffaws...BNV, FF and C and c and other s and G and HA
Translation, please? I don't have kids that text--so I have NO clue what all those abbreviations mean.....:o(
Gita,
She is referring to those of you who posted:
BNV = Bec_ No_ Va
FF= FoxnFirefly
C= Chantell / claypa
HA= HollyAnn
G= you
other S=stormyla
As soon as you get your rainbarrels set up, it won't rain anymore
But, once you've treated your plants with Deer Off, it will rain torrents.
As soon as your long-awaited, mail-ordered plants (or bulbs) arrive, it will rain so hard (or snow!) preventing you from planting them for weeks.
I have 5 sacks of bulbs now waiting to go in the ground, WHO would have predicted frozen groundm rain-barrel and pond in mis-November in DC!
Ahhhh...Thanks, dragonfly.......
How would I have ever figured that out??????
thanks dragonfly, you got it. (LOL, I don't know the kid lingo either! it takes me forever to do a text)
Leaving hubby in charge of too many tropical plants while on vacation - will end in many casualties...
Ahhh Beck....it's all good....their siblings are doing just fine in my living room...Let the Rooting Begin!!! Poor, poor hubby....thinkin' he liked the C & S better...LOL
The lengths we'll go to - to keep our pretties safe from buggies!!! You know as soon as you start the "spray-down" or "spray-by" of your wonderful witches brew consisting of water/dish soap/neem oil/tea tree oil - you'll realize YOU are down wind....ahhh nothing better then smelling like that mix....put Shalimar to shame any ole day (gagging as I type...I can STILL smell it on me...ugh)
How many plants did you lose, Bec??? I hope you take cuttings and give them to Chantell to nurse for you next time you go on extended leave.
New Law: The value of a plant is directly proportional to the number of critters that consider it foodstuff.
Law#15: Just when you think you can lose yourself in your garden, your neighbor spies you and comes over to talk and have a cup of coffee.
Law#16: When the weather forecast says it will be a garden day, you mark the calendar, only to find out that you made another commitment two months ago.
Law#17: Whenever you go into the garden to pick tomatoes and herbs, your neighbor sees you and wants to come over and smell the roses.
Law#18: The true value of a plant is directly proportional to the number of supports it takes to keep the flower upright.
Law#19: "Ripe for picking" means "when the birds hit first"
Law#20 "Cute little plants" that win your heat most always will soon win your respect. Go get the shovel.
Ah - quite a few (around 15 or so) - I don't heave the heart to tell him either ^_^
And Chantell is right - he would much rather look after C & S!
As soon as you water the garden, it will rain.
Every walk through the garden leads to a walk through the garden supply store.
Today's garden chores remind you of what you forgot to buy at the garden supply.
Here's one that happens to me at least 5 times a year - if you plant something without marking it's location, you will inevitably dig or pull it up thinking it's a weed.
Sadly...been there done that...esp with bulbs....ugh!
No matter how much time you have you will always have that last minute rush to get plants in the ground before it freezes.
The seeds/paint pen/perlite/pesticide/marker that you put in a safe place will never be found when you need it, only when you don't.
Ditto to Holly - except mine would be rushing to bring the tropicals IN...and then inevitably realizing ONE pot was accidentally left out...praying for my Pigs Ears as I type...ugh
Lots of funnies! dragonlfy's latest, SO true, and extends to much of life! Chantell, I got back up pigs ears for ya.
Every Spring while enjoying the beautiful blossums you make a list of which bulbs you want more of.......
Every fall while planting all of those bulbs, as you search for more planting spots and rub your aching back, you chide yourself on being so foolish!
Poison Ivy will inevitably grow in the beds that need the most attention.
Bulb colors always get mixed up.
When ordering markers, you never end up with the right # of each size or type.
The amount of bone meal purchased is never the right quantity for the bulb planting.
When you finally get all of your markers printed, invariably you can't find all of the plants that match the markers.
Just when the garden and roses are in their final spring or fall splendor, stinkhorn appears.
A garden without a dog is a garden full of chipmunks. For every plant the dog protects, another is trampled, eaten or soiled.
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