The Day After

I just wanted to check in and wish those on this board a good weekend and also hope that everyone had a good Thanksgiving. Somehow between last year and this year my attitude has changed about the holidays and all that is involved with them. Hmmm.....thinking a bit on this, I have to wonder if gardening which tended to lift my over all mood, is carrying over even when not actively gardening at moment. Not sure what to attribute the better feeling to, but I am glad that I have it.

Maybe having been diagnosed with breast cancer this past summer has helped me look at life a bit differently too. Who knows? For several years the thought of Thanksgiving Dinner and Christmas Day would almost overwhelm me and I looked at every thing as being a chore. I just realized this week that I am not looking at things that way this year. I am thinking of possibly putting up a tree this weekend or one day next week. That is very early for me. I usually just do that the week before Christmas.

I went out for early bird sales today. My Husband, John and myself left home at 5 AM and he stood in line for me until 6 AM when Staples Office Supply opened. It went very smoothly thankfully. There were about 20 people in front of us. The store only had 20 of the laptop computers that I wanted to buy. The store was prepared and had an employee come out a few minutes of 6 and ask people what they were buying. They had two high end items for many dollars off, but only a limited quantity of each. The other item on sale was 32 inch flat screen TV. The employee started at beginning of line and gave out coupons for the laptop and tv. All we had to do then was go to check out counter and they distributed the merchandise there. We were home at about ten minutes till 7.

I was able to purchase a regularly $749.00 Compaq laptop for $399.00. I also received a printer that will be free after I mail in the rebate. So, if the other things I buy for Christmas gifts goes like this, I won't complain.

My 16 year old son, Tucker is interested in getting the new Playstation 3 that just came out last week and had all the gamers standing in front of stores for days for a chance to buy the few that each store was getting. Only problem with this is that it is in the $600.00 range. So, we will have to think long and hard on that one. Maybe I can use it to bribe him for better grades. The possibility of me purchasing a car for him has motivated him a bit, but not enough grade improvement yet.

During the couple of months after my mastectomy, I was getting phone calls from the school telling me that he was either cutting class or flunking out of a class. That isn't good. I wracked my brain looking for an explanation for why he would suddenly decide to become so apathetic. Even though things have changed this last month and I haven't been getting phone calls from school, I am wondering if he was somehow "acting out" due to his possible worry of me. Whatever has this change coming over him, is well received though. A little while back I didn't know if he was going to even finish this school year.

When I was in school, a million years ago, a person could quit at age 16. I was so frustrated with what to do, that I told him to quit because he was wasting everyone's time. This was definitely not what I wanted, but couldn't think of any other idea to help him through his misery. I found that in Virginia no one can quit until age 18, thankfully.

I haven't received another grade report since a month or so ago when the phone calls stopped, but I am hoping and praying that he is doing his homework and class work. Sorry folks, don't know how I got on that topic. I will knock on wood and tell that things are going pretty much okay recently. I love him dearly despite how he is acting.

Sorry about the length of my saga, must have needed to sort some things out and writing always helps. I hope that everyone will continue to have a good weekend. Take care fellow gardeners.

Ruby

Maybe if there has been an improvement, you could acknowledge his renewed efforts in some small way? Like a little note or something in his lunch to say that you hope that he sticks with it? That might help.

Children keep you on an emotional roller coaster. You always worry about them. In the end though what you can do is very limited. They are who they are and they will learn from their mistakes. Just as we have learned from ours....
Teenage years are hard though for everyone concerned. You take care too, Ruby.

Ruby, you scored on the laptop! Kudos to you for braving "Black Friday" - I wouldn't even think of going near "town" today - but then it was so beautiful all I wanted to do was play outside!

Regarding your son - "been there, done that" :) All I can offer is try to let it run its course. My oldest son was a straight A student until he got into high school - have no idea what happened, no drug problems, etc. - although he did have a mountain biking accident his freshman year when he received a concussion and seems like everything changed after that?? In later years (he's 28 now) he told me if I had "pushed" him he would have done worse!!! Guessing you might just need to let him do his thing - he'll be the one that's sorry, not you. It's hard for us, as parents, to accept it but there's only so much we can do to influence them one way or the other, no matter how hard we want to try. I agree with andidandi, if there has been an improvement (i.e. the phone calls have stopped) a small gesture to acknowledge his efforts is about all you can do to encourage him - sometimes it might be just enough to let him know you care without nagging :) Good luck!

Ruby,
What a wonderful holiday message to remind us of!! "Looking at things differently" Thank you!! Wow, what a deal on that laptop!!! Good for you!!! Everyone handles life stressors differently...I think you may have hit it right re your son acting out when in truth was probably overwelmed with feelings of worry regarding your health!! RCN was very wise to suggest your doing something to let your DS know how proud you are of his improvements and mostly that you noticed!!

Ruby- I'm having some similar concerns with my tenth grader. I have nothing in our lives to blame it on. I go thru a roller coaster daily about whether to lay down some laws (which I'm no good at anyway) or try to support. I have no help to offer except I'm glad you are in a better phase, hope it continues for you, and you're not alone. Maybe when you said to quit he stepped back mentally and realized he didn't want to go there. who knows. my dad would probably say it's really about control; when you think about it, how much can you really control a teenage boy? there's only so much we can do to ensure work is done, it really depends on him. But maybe I'm just making excuses for myself....And he's a super interesting inquisitive kid.
We're enjoying the time away from school that's for sure!

Ruby, I'm so glad you got your laptop! We were in Harrisonburg doing some power shopping for Christmas yesterday too. Went to the Green Valley Book Fair, which is open until Dec. 10. They had a lot of garden books, among lots of other things.

Hmmmm.........I have only gone to Green Valley Book Fair once. I might see if I can work in a trip before the 10th myself. Did you buy anything interesting? I take spells with my reading. I either don't read at all, which has been for almost two years now or I read so avidly that I read all of an authors works and wish for more.

The last time I was reading to any extent, i was really involved in True Crime. There are a couple of great authors that I have some works waiting for whenever I can find time in my life to lounge and just read. I have been thinking about how nice it will be this winter when it too cold to do much and spending leisurly hours with words.

Another of my favorite things to read are mystery's. I used to love Mary Higgins Clark. I always thought that I knew what and who done it, but was always wrong. She is an excellent author.

I be that if I had some gardening books with lots of pictures, I could be persuaded to sit a while and peruse it. ha-ha

Glad that you were able to get some shopping done. I hope that you will have a good weekend.

Ruby

Have you read Rita Mae Brown's mysteries? They're set in your neck of the woods. The book fair has a huge mysteries section.

I didn't get myself any garden books yesterday, but they had some really nice ones for great prices. They had a lot of Virginia/Washington area/mid-atlantic gardening books including the Viettes' book. A very nice New Better Homes and Gardens Garden Book for a fraction of the regular price which I was eyeballing for a gift.

I was mostly shopping for Christmas presents but I got myself a couple of Civil War books, they have a huge section of those. A nice selection of regional interest books too. They're downstairs where most of the non-fiction books are located.

I can't imagine any kind of book you'd like that they don't have a huge section of them. They even have audiobooks.

I've seen the ads for the Green Valley Book Fair but never gone. Bet I could get into alot of trouble there! I hadn't read much in years, other than gardening books, but in the past few years I've become a big fan of Jonathan Kellerman and John Sandford books. The thing I love about them is they're such a quick read! My only problem is I read them so fast sometimes when I'm looking for something to read I forget that I've already read them! I'll have to check out Rita Mae Brown and Mary Higgins Clark next time I make a visit to the library.

I see that this has turned into a book thread, but hey thats good.

Have you read Susan Witting Albert's books..China Bayles Mystery.. The books are about a Lawyer, China Bayles, who leaves her profession and opens a Herb shop in Texas. All the titles have Herbs in the name like Lavender Lies, Rosemary Remember, Thyme of Death.

If any one is interested I could start mailing the books out and you could pass them on to whoever wants them next. Actually it's time to clean house. LOL

Chris that is a great idea. I too have some finished books that I would put out there too. Is anyone else in to True Crime? Hubby used to always laugh and asked if I was trying to find ideas for knocking him off? ha-ha. Never!!!

Really cute idea that author has for naming the books after herbs. Some people are so talented.

Take care and have a good week all.

Ruby

You know what hart? I haven't ever read any of Rita Mae Brown's books. Yes, I have a friend in Texas who reads her stuff and comments on all the things that go on in Crozet. She lived about 15 miles from here in the 1980's and 1990's for a while. Not sure where she is living now though. She might still be here.

Rita Mae Brown was the Guest Speaker at my older son's high school graduation in the late 1990's. She just might still be here, but since he isn't with Martina Lavritilova (?sp?) anymore, we don't hear anything about her.

Our area has been home to several celebrities over the years. They say that they like it here because people give them space and don't bother them. Sissy Spacek has lived here for almost 30 years now. My ex husband helped paint her house once upon a time and also painted Jessica Lange and Sam Shephards house when they lived here. Alan Alda supposedly has land here, but hasn't lived here as far as I know. Can't remember any other big names at moment other than all the members of The Dave Matthews Band live here. Dave comes in to my son's coffee shop very frequently when he isn't on tour. I used to go and see DMB at a local night club before they started touring. They played at Trax Night Club every Tuesday for a very long time before they hit it big and became the number one touring band.

I am with chris, i need to get my butt up and go do chores. Have a good one all.

Ruby

As far as I know she still lives there. She's really into horses and fox hunting. In fact, she has a mystery series based on the fox hunting. The cutest ones are the Sneaky Pie series. Sneaky Pie is her cat.

This whole region has a lot of celebs. You can live the quiet country life and still be close to the city, airports, etc.

BTW, if you all start a book exchange, don't forget you can mail books fourth class mail, which is cheaper.

Thanks hart- good thinking.

Ruby

Well, I don't need any reading material right now, I am reading one about discovering Atlantis, and I have another book that I haven't started. But If anyone is interested in China Bayles Mysteries just D-mail me.

Chris