HELLOOOOOOO!!!!
I am back with a vengeance ladies!
The past two weeks have been utterly crazy, but I do believe that everything is coming up roses! It has been a true adventure of espionage, lies, videotape, gum, chanting, code enforcers, the Hoa, and digitally enhanced photographs of which I will share with you.
When we last left me, your Tragic Heroine, I had simply had enough with my horrid neighbors. They live with me in a Homeowner's Association, and we all signed on the dotted line agreeing to the HOA CC&Rs when we started Escrow on our homes. I however, have neighbors who think it's OK to grow corn in the front yard and drag mattresses onto the front lawn to sleep. Twelve dilapiadated vehicles all belonging to the same address is an eyesore and a burden. It is not OK to bring a portable bar out to the front lawn and serve beer to grandpa who will eventually pass out with one hand flailed across the sidewalk and the other stuck down the front of his pants. A park bench placed next to the front door encourages neighbors to sit down and chat a while, while a backless office chair by the front door makes everyone feel a little creeped out.
Ahhhh, Multiple Family Residences, the bain of my existance! I know that it costs alot of $$ to live in South Orange County, but if you're going to have 18 adults in one house, try to fly casual, OK? I mean, do you HAVE to drag an old nasty rug out to the driveway and use it to soak up the oil from your leaky cars? No offense to old leaky cars. I happen to own one, but I keep mine parked in the garage, and if I need to park it on the street, I put an oil pan under it! Not my neighbors! They seem to think it's perfectly fine to lock ten bicycles together on the front lawn and cover them with a bright blue tarp. It's also totally cool to leave all your cars on the street on street sweeping day so that the sweepers can't get any of the gutters clean, and then we have standing water and voila! West Nile Virus! And oh- what's up with the carved log chair that looks like a piece of big brown you-know-what and is certainly not outdoor furniture?
Aaarrrgghh! This may all seem like I am being a Mrs. Kravitz, but please do take my situation into consideration for a moment...
#1 I pay $56 a month for my HOA to patrol the neighborhood and enforce the rules
#2 This kinda stuff is just flat out not acceptable in this neck of the woods
#3 We all live on 5,000 square foot lots. That's really small, girls. My next door neighbors are literally next door- about 15 feet away, so when I say I see this junk all the time, I mean it's right on top of me.
OK, so what did I do about all this? That, my friends, you will find out about tomorrow...
