DON'T Mess Around With Granny!

This may not be the "correct" forum for this thread, but I've looked everywhere, can't find one, so here goes:

This is a light hearted tribute to my DGM who died a few months ago. This is NOT about sadness of grief; we've done all of that already. This is a collection of just a few of my more amusing memories of her, and I trust you'll agree that some are doosies. (Now don't think that I'm laughing and poking fun at her. She was a wonderful woman, I loved her dearly, and this is but a light-hearted celebration of the unique person she was - along with a laugh or 2 at some gaffs and faux-paus. So 'nuf about sadness, on with the merriment! ; )

And feel free, along the way, to share any of your own memories of your grandmother or someone else, for that matter. Share those amusing annecdotes. Just feel free to interject things anywhere. We'll sort them out later. : )

Now to truly appreciate the humor in the scenarios to come you need to know a little about my Grandmother - just for a place of reference - because part of the humor to come relates to the seemingly atypical behavior of such a simple and law-abiding woman. So here is a, hopefully quick, synopsis of Grandma:

She embodied many of the strengths of her generation. She was a simple, unsophisticated, infinitely hard working, strong, trustworthy, responsible, and good hearted woman born to a struggling farming family. She was one of 13 kids. After she learned to read, write, and do basic math, her father took her out of school because he needed a farm hand, but due to the protests of her DGM she was allowed to attend school 2 days/wk for a few more years.

She kept a spotless house, raised 3 healthy, happy children, coddled numerous grands, and tended a multi-acre garden. As mentioned, she was not at all sophisticated. She loved to tell (with a girlish giggle and sheepish grin) about the time when she, already a grandmother, went to a restaurant and drank a little champagne. It was as though she had done the naughtiest thing imaginable. Her other favorite story was about the time she went to see the Best Little @@##!$% House in Texas. Whenever she talked about that she covered her mouth shyly and laughed like a 13 year old girl as she alluded to the scandalous and shocking things in that show - she could just never believe that they would say and do such things, much less put them in a show.

Now, a brief break (for our sponsors) before we resume to finish the intro.