JanuaryHOPE for the New Year!!

Good Morning everyone!!

Ladies I think that we should have the luncheon at Charlotte's and I'll try to take the day off to be there. I'll tell you what's up in this post....

Oh Genna I am so glad things have worked out! Whew!!!

Well my house WAS ok, it still isn't bad but we replaced the locks last Wednesday morning, took my next door neighbors out to dinner and he broke in about 2 hours after we got the locks changed. Called the Sheriff, he came out and wouldn't even take a report because he said, and I quote "Even though the Decree says he has 5 days from the date that it is served to him to vacate the property it's not recognized in the legal system until it's at least 60 days old, but usually it takes 90 days for the decree to take effect." I about hit the ceiling, a divorce decree that's signed by a judge doesn't take effect until 90 days after it's signed???? I don't think so. Anyway, he took almost all the rest of his belongings, including the refrigerator. He still didn't punch holes in the walls so that's a good thing. I had to pay my attorney and now my savings account that I had to prove was mine in court is gone to him. Funny, now he says he'll finish this bs for free, court again and all. He knew exactly how much I had in savings and he took it all, now I have nothing to fix the tile in my house, which now would be the perfect time since nobody is living in it, I owe last years taxes on it and now current taxes, and I am sick sick sick. When my attorney gets in from court this morning he is going to call the Sheriff's Chief and see what's up with not taking a report as that IS breaking and entering, then we're going to call the Prosecuting Attorney who I know personally and keeps swindling out of doing anything for me, then we're going to call the court and get another court date for the break in, the $5000.00 Dave owes me, and my quick claim deed.

On a much better note, since the lease is up on my apartment I went to the apartment's office on Sunday to see what my options are, I don't want to sign another 6 months but I don't want to move to the house either. They said that I can sign a 1-4 month lease since I've already done a 6 month lease. Knowing my savings is depleted I went to work yesterday evening and worried sick that since I am a temporary seasonal employee and the 'season' is over I can be let go at any minute. The store manager was closing last night and I told him what was going on, he seems to always be interested in my drama and loves to talk, we were both straightening up a shelf and since I can't handle this stress any longer I asked him if he was going to keep me on, he said Oh Definitely, if you'll stay. Then we started talking about pay... he said that the seasonal job expires in April and I will become a permanent employee at that time, I don't remember what pay he said lol I think it's $11.00 an hour. I asked about full time since I like that job better anyway, he said that right now if I was to go full time I would be at $13.00 an hour, and in April they're all getting raises up to $14.00 an hour, but there are no full time positions available right now. Now that's some ok money there, so I told him that when a full time position comes open I am very interested!! Even if I stay part time, knowing I have a job there for as long as I want it is a HUGE weight lifted and I can keep my apartment so I can fix then sell my house. I wish I would be able to go permanent this month, I really need that raise (part time seasonal temporary makes $9.00 an hour, I make $9.50 because I run a cash register and it pays more,) but beggars can't be choosers.

This message was edited Jan 22, 2013 10:12 AM

Sarah I had never thought of a tens machine. Thanks for suggesting it. I will call Dr. Alberty and check. I have 2 already if I can locate them. My oldest daughter, Terrie, had TMJ at 21 and after a 100 splints, braces and 2 surgeries they recommend PT and the first thing in PT was the Tens machine. We bought a cheap one at first but after seeing the relief that she received we bought a more expensive one. The Dr. told Jim once he heals that he must put on a SPF 15 or higher sun screen all over his body, everyday and if he is working out in the sun more often. I know you don't know my niece, Mary but her ex-husband, who is Jim's sister's son, just had his arm amputated right below the elbow b/c of skin cancer and this has put a fear into Jim. TG!!!

Genna I am so happy for Yall!! This was indeed an answer to all of our prayers!!! I hope that things continue to work out!!!

I know this gonna sound like bragging but we are gonna be 74F Thursday and 75F Friday. Mary & I spent all afternoon in the backyard Sunday just soaking up the sunshine. Mardi Gras is well underway here. My azaleas and lorepedulum are beginning to bloom and the lawn is green. Spring is almost here. I generally get my 1st sunburn for the Fat Tuesday parades and that will be Feb. 12 this year. Actually other than a day here or there we have hardly had a winter.

Hopefully you can get all this mess behind you soon Christine!!! Don't blame you for not wanting to move back into the house.

I'll start a thread some time today for the luncheon on March 9.

Jeri we did a cross post. My daffodils are up several inches. We have had weird weird weather. It has been very warm here also except for a 12" snow! and then a day of sleet and ice last week. But my back yard is still a disaster!!!! I have a huge pile out front and still the back is covered in limbs that need to be taken around. It's going to take me a couple of months to get the mess cleaned up. I'm going to have to take down a metal arbor that goes over a concrete table and benches. I did look at it and it is bolted together so I can take the bolts out to dismantle it. But the whole thing is covered in Carolina jasmine and Confederate jasmine so it will have to be cut way back.

I'm so sorry Chrissy!!! My divorce from Mikel was cut and dry. By giving him $5000.00 I received my house and furniture and car along with the payment books. I never even went to court or met with Mikel or anything. The lawyer handled everything. BUT when Mary & Allen divorced we had a real education!!! Check with Lowe's you may be able to finance the tiles and get any pointers you may need on how to do it, to boot. Then you could do the work now and then execute the American way, pay later.

Whoo, I am waaay behind. You ladies were correct--my digging party was in January, 2011--not in 2010.

Big hugs to all you who have been or still are sick.

Christine, sweetie, I am sooooo sorry for all the troubles you have gone through because of your ex's stupidity and just plain "ornery-ness" (and that is putting it nicely). Big hugs to you, too.

Jeri--so glad you finally have a diagnosis for Ashley. Now, hopefully, the docs can help you and Ashley to manage the condition. You certainly have a lot on your plate right now. Keep us posted about Jim.

Genna: what a relief about Leigh's job! I know you feel as if a giant weight has been lifted off your shoulders!! I sure hope everything works out ok for Jessi's surgery.

My hubby, Al, had minor surgery last Thursday but he was just in the hospital overnight. I brought him home late Friday afternoon. He had a "roto-rooter" job done on his prostate gland and will be in fine shape once he recuperates.

Jeri and Elaine: you can send some of your excess moisture up my way. We were more than 14 inches behind in rainfall at the end of 2012. :(
Fortunately, we have missed any snow and/or ice--it has either been south of us or to the north of us but we sure do need some rain!!

I hope I can make it down to the luncheon on March 9th--will have to wait and see-- but it sure would be good to see all you ladies again.

This message was edited Jan 22, 2013 11:05 AM

Sounds like you need to make that luncheon a work day like Crissy!

That's a great idea, but the problem is I have the house and an apartment, so I have two water bills, two electricity bills, rent, the taxes on the house are past due, plus now I owe this years, I make $12.50 at my state job and $9.50 at my part time job that I'm getting about 15 hours a week at. Plus I have a student loan payment that's about to kick back in, and that's $278.00 a month, I've tried to refi it and it's very difficult to refi a student loan, not to mention my cell phone bill, cable, and food.

I have probably 250 mean and harassing texts that he's sent me the past 6 months plus a few voice mails, he listed the marital property for sale on Craigslist twice, sold a bunch of stuff in a couple garage sales and I have no idea what, my ATV was stolen at the shop and we got a check for $1800 he was supposed to split with me, he forged my signature on the check and stole the money (which is legal because we were married, even though in a divorce litigation,) he moved a woman and her 13 year old daughter in before I had moved out, his 2012 Honda Civic Coupe disappeared the same day his leg was severely burned and he told the insurance company I stole it but he never did file a police report and I am still dealing with that, I have had to fight for my savings account, retirement accounts, the house, all the vehicles, everything in the house, he was going to clean me out and he would not settle at all, no matter what we tried, so we went to court, he didn't show up, his attorney got beat up by the judge then relieved from the case at the attorney's request, said that no matter what he told Dave to do he would do exactly the opposite, and he lost his ass. Then he posts on facebook that I'm a mook and a theif. And it's obviously still going on, so I guess you can say I've been through complete hell the past 6 months. Now I'm wondering how much I'm going to have to pay to get rid of the piece of (*&(&.


This message was edited Jan 22, 2013 11:33 AM

Crissy I know it seems unfair but when Mary and Allen divorced. Allen didn't fulfill one judgement. The jails are so full that there was no place to put him so they always gave him another chance and he had no intention of settling it. The last time they went to court his attorney tried to drop him for non-payment and the judge wouldn't let them. I know it's little consolation but he has to live with himself and face our maker one day and that won't go so well!

Or as I put it "what goes around. Comes around"!!!

Here is the link to the thread I just started for the luncheon on March 9.
http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/1295020/

You reap what you sow....................... some people unfortunately you NEVER get to see them when they reap it, but I have watched some people get theirs and it has not been pretty if you know what I mean.

Crissy, could you not possibly apply for a different state or federal job and get better pay? Praying that you are able to get all this resolved quickly! Sounds like he is going to be hard to get rid of..............

Genna

I have an aunt who did this same exact thing to me and my mom when my grandfather passed, she made the judge feel sorry for her and my grandmother and she got everything except the house. Wiped me out. After they won the case with me her husband said to me and my mom, "Now that we got this we're going to sue my brother!" He passed away shortly after and I don't think he ever got to suing his brother and she doesn't have the guts to do it herself. She is now 76 years old and in VERY bad health, diabetes, blood pressure problems, liver issues, bad knees, thyroid, all kinds of nasty stuff. She lives on a couple of acres that they built two apartments on, plus 3 garages, nobody will rent the apartments because she's screwed too many people over in the town of 200 people she lives in, plus she can't sell her house and move to something more manageable because she has a reverse mortgage (guess my grandmother's belongings weren't worth so much after all) so she's stuck, so yeah, what comes around definitely goes around, I am a firm believer in karma. One of her four kids comes over and helps, but she's in her mid 50's herself. My mom still talks to her, I don't have time for the hatred she shows toward me. That was in 1997 - 2000 and to this day she has not asked about me, which is perfectly fine!

THANK YOU CHARLOTTE!!! Sorry to interfere, thought it a good idea and fun but it's just not safe out there yet, and no telling when it will be.

Genna I have tried getting a different state job for 3 years, been on bunch of interviews, nada, and there are no fed jobs that I can do at the moment, everything is veteran nurse this and Psychiatrist that, I can't do that. I just need more pay and I have tons of experience doing a lot of things, nursing isn't one of them LOL

Crissy, I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this jack-axx for this long and are still dealing with all these problems. I believe in karma too, and what goes around will eventually come around. I'm glad from your posts it sounds like you're taking things in stride. Good luck to you as you walk through the rest of this muck and mire. At least your landlord in the apartment is sympathetic and will let you stay on until things get straightened out.

Genna, I'm so happy for you and Leigh! At least you won't have any worries about moving or selling your house for a while. God is so good! I'm sure you will be sleeping better this week. Now you can concenterate on other things.

Marilyn, give Al our best and hope he is resting ok. Wish I really could send you some of this moisture!

Waving to everyone!!! Just got through cleaning the house with my DD and I'm dead. Jim cooked a roast and gravy with potatoes, onions & celery. I made rice, mac n cheese and cornbread. Jimmy & Rebecca came up, Chris & Tori showed up and Terrie and Bre was here so the only one missing was Cameron.

Jeri, in my last post, I meant to say I wish you could send us some of your warm weather! Sometimes there's nothing like those spur-of-the-moment family times!

I have buds on some of my early blooming daffs. And we have a bird family, wrens I think, that have nested in our garage. Earl says there are eggs in the nest already. I don't know what we're going to do when we go skiing in a couple of weeks. He usually is home and leaves the garage door open all day. We see the pair fly out every morning.

I don't have a 'landlord' per say, it's owned by a management company and they go by the book that whoever wrote, they wrote that they will allow a 1-4 month lease.

Oh no Elaine, that's not good. You may need to hire a bird sitter neighbor to come over and open and close the door LOL

Marilyn hope Al is feeling better today!

A shame you can't consolidate those bills Crissy. It sure would make it easier on you. I think with that stress off of you it would be a whole lot better.

Elaine if I could box and sell this weather...we'd all be rich!!! LOL!!! After so much rain we are ecstatic ourselves!!! It is still too wet to even cut the grass. Is there a window in the garage? If so I'd just crack it a little and the little mother will find her way in or out. For security just place a dowel over the raised part and the top. The window won't go up any higher.

Marilyn, Jim had that done years ago and he said it was awful. Tell Al he has our sympathy for sure!!!

Thanks, Jeri. Al has a good friend who had it done a few years back and he told Al that once it was all over, he will be feeling good as new. Right now I am having a hard time keeping him from doing too much or lifting heavy objects, like firewood. Al is not the kind of guy who can just sit around and be a couch potato. He has to be doing something all the time. Right now he is out in his shop re-loading shotgun shells, which is an okay thing for him to be doing because he can sit down and do it and not have to lift anything heavy. He goes and shoots every Wednesday (but not today) at the gun club between here and Mountain Home. He is mainly into "black powder". We go back on Friday for his post-op check-up and to get the catheter removed. I don't know how long it will be before Al can drive again. I guess we'll find out on Friday.

Christine: What a jerk!! Charlotte is right in saying that "what goes around comes around". He will pay for his actions one way or another but the sooner you can let go of the bitterness toward him, however justified it may be, the better off YOU will be. ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Christine)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Elaine: I hope you find a bird-sitter. :) Enjoy your ski trip! Personally, I don't like the cold enough to voluntarily go out into the snow, etc. I would much rather be on a warm beach somewhere. :) but I am sure you and Earl will have a great time if that is what you all like to do.

Fortunately, we have had a very mild winter here with only a few days below freezing and no snow in our area. We are in an "up and down" cycle right now. Our high yesterday was 32F and the high today will be in the mid-50's but the high tomorrow will be back down in the 30's. Talk about yo-yo weather.
I, too, have buds on my daffodils. It sure does make me long for spring!!

Yes you ladies are very correct, but I have to go after the money he owes me and the damage he did to my house when he broke in after the time to vacate was past. I'm broke, working two jobs, and have a house that is too dangerous to live in and an apartment to take care of and pay the bills for. I can't let him get away with forgery either, that's just messed up. I have asked 20 people what they're opinion is, all the women say let it go and all the men say to go after him, funny how it's split like that.

Jeri I know it, but I'm told that's not the way it works. I've heard that most attorneys want the money up front and in full, but what happens if we don't have that kind of money, and I'm not even sure if that is true.

Box the weather up! It's been warm here the past few days and I thought that it was supposed to get cold last night, but we're back up to the mid 50's so maybe it's tomorrow, they can't tell and I quit listening lol!

Crissy, Mary was able to pay so much down and then some each month. They may even take it on contingency that they get a % of what they collect. Don't give up!!! Where there is a will, there is a way.

I agree with Marilyn, try to let go of the bitterness as it will eat away at you. But I do agree with you that you should go after what is rightly yours!!! Sometimes we just have to stand up for what we know is right!!!! Also no one else is going to fight for us - we have to do it ourselves! Like Jeri said if your attorney wants all his money up front then shop around and see if you can find one that will take it on contingency or let you pay it out! Hang in there!!!

Jesus said turn the other cheek, but He didn't say to lay down and let a steam roller run over you! You do have to fight, even if you end up losing you will know you tried. I have been throug divorce and tried very hard to split all of the household items, even down to the towels and washrags. Six months later I was wishing I had taken everything, and left the whole house empty !

Marilyn forgot to say that I hope Al recovers quickly. I of course have not had the same surgery he did! But I had the mesh sling inserted to lift the neck of my bladder about 11 years ago. I was having problems with leakage when I lifted heavy things or coughed or sneezed. Anytime you have surgery in that area I think it takes a while to fully heal. A sensitive spot! The surgery was a piece of cake. I didn't even have to spend a night. Had the surgery in the morning and they sent me on my way by 2pm! But it took me over 6 months for things to settle down and get back to normal! I had begone to wonder if I had made the right decision to have surgery. Having a catheter in for a week caused lots of problems in itself! Caused me to have a UTI and took a long time for that to clear up. My doctor had said he could go back and make some adjustments if I felt it necessary after the surgery. But I felt I just needed to let things settle down and give it some time before I had any additional surgery. It did heal and everything is great (no additional surgery) but it was a very long 6 or more months!!!

Asking for prayers again............... Leigh talked to who will be his new boss again yesterday trying to find out some more details .... did he have any idea when he would report to LR? how many months he might have to stay in LR? when he would go to Dallas for his training etc?? And the guy told him "I might have to crawfish on what I told you, not sure you will be able to go back to SO Arkansas!"..... we are devastated! IF we had to move, at least he could have kept an inside position! Now, he is moving to an outside position where he will be out in the elements all day every day - will have to have a lot of specific stuff - such as certain boots, certain shirts, slicker suits, insulated clothes, etc..... and to top it off the guy had told him on MOnday there was a clothing allowance to cover most of those things - now he says well, there is just a discount on the shirts that HAVE to be ordered thru the company! NO help on any of the heavy coat, boots, slickers, etc...... I am just appalled that he mislead him so on Monday! There is NO REVOCATION of this job acceptance unless he is ready to go out the door. I know he ONLY took this job because he thought it was a way for me to stay in Camden and us keep our house and him get back there soon....................... now, I feel like I have been the cause for him to be banished to outside work when at least IF he was going to have to live in LR he could have been working inside! Please pray................ i am so upset I didn't get any sleep last night and neither did he!

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Genna and Leigh)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
What a roller coaster ride! Prayers for comfort, peace and encouragement for both of you!!!

Christine, I didn't mean to imply that just because you should let go of the bitterness that you shouldn't get what is rightfully yours--you should definitely pursue your legal rights. Have you checked with legal aid to see if they could take your case? I know they have strict guidelines as to who is eligible but it wouldn't hurt to check into it.

Charlotte, When I had a hysterectomy back in 1986, the doctor poked a hole in my bladder. As a result, I had to wear a catheter for six months so I am very aware of the medical problems, not to mention the inconvenience, that wearing a catheter can cause. However, I managed to continue working every day, after the initial 6 week recovery period. Fortunately, I worked in a one-woman office and the bathroom was nearby. After 6 months, my urologist decided that the bladder was not going to heal itself so he went in and closed up the hole surgically. In 1997, I had to have bladder repair surgery again for the same reasons that you did. No, indeed---wearing a catheter is definitely no fun!! Al will hopefully get his removed when we return to the doctor tomorrow.

Genna so sorry!! You all are on a roller coaster ride!!!

Marilyn you sure have had bad luck with doctors doing things to you!!! Poking holes in your bladder and didn't another doctor cause a serious problem do to with your "heart"?????? Can't remember exactly what you said before.

Sandra I'm wishing right now that I had taken everything and not try to split the stuff. He's impossible to work with, is a big time bully.

My attorney isn't the best there ever was, he's pretty clueless about some things and not as smart as he thinks he is, but he's not the worst either. It's expensive to switch attorneys at this point, we have the decree, I won everything I was asking for and some that I wasn't, we have to get Dave because he keeps trying to get me. One of my coworkers had to pay $5000 up front to switch after getting her decree because her ex wouldn't leave it alone, and she had to switch as her attorney was dropping the ball and didn't have paperwork ready for her on time, and that was the cheapest she found. My attorney will fight, and wants to fight, for my rights. When my aunt was taking everything me and my mom had an attorney that refused to fight, wanted to settle everything, was a big turd and in CA you can't change attorneys in an estate case. I know this isn't an estate case but at least he wants to fight. Me and my mom lost that case and we ended up paying my aunt's attorneys fees and he wouldn't take payments either. Doug says we're going to finish it and he's going to do it at no charge, so that's fine with me!

Oh yes, I know about the catheter thing too, when I was 7 I had one in for 3 months due to major surgery I had to have from a birth defect. They are horrible!!!

Oh Genna!! How horrible!! If I were him and if I could, I'd bail out of that job and find a different one, they're just promising him crap that they can't do, his boss is probably still full of crap.

Oh Genna, so sorry they did not tell the whole truth, you shouldn't feel it is your fault though, a husband is supposed to do what is best for his family and Leigh knew that and that is why he took the job. Things will always look the darkest right before dawn, maybe a new day will soon appear for you.

Unfortunately Genna some times people make promises (actually something they would like to be able to do) but they don't have the authority to deliver. Sounds that might have been the case here.

I realize that - but if the guy had said they might eventually be able to move him that is one thing, but to say that "as soon as you are trained, I am moving you to Camden and you will cover the entire SW section of the state for me" ...

I have literally been sick to my stomach over this. I just hate that he has taken a job that will put him in bad weather, more dangerous conditions, and force him to move...... ALL other jobs that would have been offered would have been inside jobs! I just can't even express how bad I feel. I am trying very hard to believe that it will still all work out because I felt so sure that was our sign from God - if it was, I know it will work out. IF we misread it, it is going to be a long three years! We didn't get ANY sleep last night - so today we are mentally and physically exhausted.

Has he been with them long enough that he could go ahead and take retirement and then maybe do something like teach again?

Genna do you think once things settle down that Leigh could choose something else there at AT&T?

Not sure Jeri..... they have to have "time in position" which is a year normally before they can apply for anything else. They have said there is some form he can fill out so that IF any position comes open in South Arkansas that he would have first shot at it because he had been surplused from this area - well, first shot assuming no one else who has been surplused had more seniority. But, the likelihood of something opening down here is extremely low...........every person who has retired or moved from down here in the last several years has not been replaced.

No, if he can not draw his retirement with AT&T until he is 65 because he does not have 20 yrs in with them.

I am trying hard to remain calm - not very successful at times - but I just have to keep believing that God has a plan and it will all work out as it is supposed to. Just at times I go into panic mode - not looking forward to living alone....... :( Might have to sleep with a gun on my nightstand, but I will make it thru it. I appreciate everyone's prayers......

Genna, still praying something else, like maybe an inside job, will come through. At least he will have a job, and maybe with time, he will be able to make a transition to something else. Neither of you should feel guilty. Like Charlotte said, the guy probably mis-led you with some promises he was not authorized to make and now has had to back down. Try to stay positive.

Crissy, same for you. We know you're doing your best. Hang in there and fight, girl, fight!!

Genna it will be fine, hang in there, everything works out the way it is supposed to even though we don't see it at the time. And things could change again too, this happens a lot.

Dave got served yesterday and tried to run from my process server. Where he's living I guess there is a long dirt driveway, I was worried that Dave wouldn't answer the door because I used this same server when I served him with my decree. Well my server was coming up the drive and saw Dave and his boss sitting outside. When Dave saw his truck he ran inside but his boss didn't. The server told his boss that he knew Dave was home because he just saw him run inside, so he had to reluctantly go get him, and he was served. What's really odd is I haven't gotten any 20 page length angry threatening to sue me whatever texts, I haven't heard a word! I'm worried because when he gets quiet is when he's up to something really bad.

Jeri, just to clarify -- a nerve stimulator for gastroparesis is different from a TENS.
The stimulator is an implantable device and the TENS is external. Still, be sure to ask your physician about it. Not sure if insurance covers it.

Looked out the window this morning and my neighbor across the street is moving!
Such a nice little family - hope the house sells to someone good like them.

On a happier note -- My oldest son Walt, who works for Baldwin & Shell Construction has been promoted from project coordinator to manager! My youngest son Lee has set his wedding for June in St. Thomas, US Virgin Islands.
That should be a good trip. So Kim Duckmother, you won't be the only one going to paradise this year - LOL!!! I'll have to stock up on SPF 50 sun block for sure!!!!

The front yards in my neighborhood were filled with Robins, soooo . . can Spring be far behind?

Sarah congratulations on Walt's promotion!!!

Yes, Sarah, congrats on your son's promotion---and on the robins!!! Wow, a wedding in St. Thomas---wonderful!!

Charlotte, you are correct in saying that another doctor caused the problem which led to my open heart surgery but in his defense he was trying to do something to help abate the problem with the incurable lung disease==but only God could do that--and He did, for which I am very thankful.

Genna I will just repeat what the others have said and which you already know. You have a lot of faith and you know that even though you and Leigh are experiencing some very stressful times right now, that God will never leave you nor forsake you. Prayers for peace and encouragement and stress-free sleep for you both!!

Christine--the same prayer for you!!