Gigi's Memory Garden 2

This is the continuation of love and support as we witness the progress of Sue's daughter's memory garden.

We came from here: http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/1253573/#new

Thanks for the new thread!

Sue, please know we pray for your comfort daily!

(((Sue, Savannah, Austin (Tim, too)))))

I know everyday is a healing day. Keeping you close in thought and prayer as always.

I always seem to remember the good memories, maybe those are the ones we are suppose to remember and not the bad times. There was a recipe for a casserole made with lima beans my son said he loved, but for the life of me I just can't remember one. I think of that often, maybe someday I'll find it. (((Hugs)))

Just too hot today to even think. Walked out the front door into what felt like a 350 degree oven. Poor plants need water so I'm going to have to go out and help them out a little, before the temp. goes any higher.

Samigal, I just googled lima bean casserole, and there are lots of recipes to choose from. That sounds good--I may have to try some, too!
I just sent up a prayer that you are having a good day, today, Sue.

thanks
today was good.
sold our chickens at the auction
cleaned out basement
cleaned other animal cages , rabbits and show chickens .
swept floors
grocerys
paid bills
ate some grapes
thought of Gigi today in a good way.
Honestly i keep thinking she will call me , every time the phone rings. My heart stops for a moment in hope.... crazy huh ?

Sue, when my Mom passed I kept picking up the phone to talk to her, it took me quite awhile to get over that. But you can go to a quite place in the garden, and have a conversation with her, she is listening!

Wow, what a busy day you've had, Sue! It does feel good to get a lot done.

And the best part was that you thought of Gigi in a good way!! The happy memories will soon outweigh the sad Sue....

Tim was home this saturday and left today, honestly i think prisoner get more visit time then we do ?? oh and speaking of prisoners ...... guess what we passed on the way home from Marysville ! ???? yes yes yes. The Womens Correctional Facility aka prison !! .
SO me and the kids rolled down our windows as we drove by and smiled and gave a big wave and hello to . Karen Cook and Candece Forney. Then we joked about going to visit and what kind of food to bring for them and what flavors choices of food.... savannah said worms w/ puke and austin said ... poop w/ fingernails flavor.... you don't want to know my flavor of choice MUwahahahahaha
yes its s demented thing but it felt good. To actually see there new home.

LOL Creative cooking!

lol i know right :)

Sue , i've been reading this past hour .No idea this was going on . I can't begin to imagine your pain . So sorry this happened to you and Jessica . Don't know what else to say except my heart is heavy for you.

thank you digger, i appreciate your kind words.
well this morning was a bit teary eyed. I dreamt of Jessica . I couldn't find her ? i kept screaming " where are you " then i woke up... i hate those dreams.
so it was an emotional morning, but then i got to work and things went well.

Only time will dull the sharp edges .Will never go away , and it's a shame only you can live this nightmare . Loving thoughts , my dear .

today is rain.
i was thinking of funny things jessica used to do
she loved jokes, had many joke books she had a mouse and a giraffe joke but i just can't remember it. One of her fav's.
some funny things she used to do.
we went to the zoo and there was a manatee exhibit ... she yelled back to me. " Mom wow they got white whales here !!! " , the big sign for Manatee Exhibit was right above her and a sign right in front of her too. She just got so excited it was pretty funny. She could always laugh at herself .

These are the memories to treasure Sue. You should write them down when they occur and then read them back to yourself when you are down and having a bad day. "Gigi's Journal" sounds good........

Sounds good to me . Lots of good and happy times .

Thanks Ky!

Sue,
It does sound like survivors guilt, but it also just a heartbreaking situation. Let it play itself out. The wounds are fresh and healing is going to take a long time.

I agree with Taters,
She is there anytime you need her to be.

I am so glad you and the kids could vent. Love the kids menu!

Quilter,
''Gigi's Journal'' is an exellent idea! The twins would love to read it too.

Sue,
I always think about you and send you a hug. I say special prayers when I water for my neighbor. They have an upstairs deck and a nice view of the sky. I really feel a bit closer when I say prayers there.

These are things you have to work thru alone, but you have an awful lot of us standing behind you every day, hugging you and your kids and praying for the family.

Keep busy, but cry when you need to.

A mourning cloak. First one I've ever seen.

thank you everyone
yes i have been journaling . i started about 30 days after her murder. I would sit in her hammock in our backyard. I would swing, write, cry , pray, wish. Talk to her . I have not done it in a few weeks. i feel guilty about it.
another thing she did one time
we are at Home Depot . she was 10 ?
she found a office chair. The kind that spins and has a leaver to control the hight of the chair. SOOOO she called me and called me. I was in an isle looking at some paint . I looked over and ROFLLLL.......... ok ok i crack up when i tell this story
she is spinning around in the chair and has it lowering down. she calls out...... " i 'mmmm meeeellllllllting " LOLLLLL and i see her sink behind the desk
her and i were rolling on the floor at Home depot cracking up !
i m surprised we didn't get kicked out for making such a racket. She kept doing it over and over as i lay on the floor laughing . I know right ? crazy girls !

Oh Sue, that is a precious and happy memory of her!

i can't hear her voice inside my head anymore ?
when our children are alive . their voices are in your head . you know the sound of their voices..... hers is gone :(

It will be back, Sue....probably when you least expect it.....

yea i guess so. ? she just seems to be slipping away
so i worked in her garden today
tagged plants with my new tags
tried to catch the mole that is digging in Jessica's garden
got some daylilys planted in her garden.
yanked some daylilys out , put them in new location
yanked out a viburnum that got eaten down..
yanked out a weigela . getting a new one
relocated hen and chics in her garden too
was going to plant iris , crocus and some gladiolos
oh i have tons of them and will bring some to the RU. they are either red or purple.
then talked on phone to a friend for a few hrs
that is the low down
made pizza for dinner

Sounds like ou have been busy! Your garden will be so pretty next spring!

i sure hope so
the white butterfly bushes are really big !
i should take pics and post them
i m just batteling this stupid depression and i just don't have the " get up and care about it " that i used to have
but its raining tonight so my new plants i put in the garden are getting a good drink.

Still sending hugs and prayers.

Sue , it's another timeline you're going through . Your interest in tomorrow will return . Just slower for some than others . You have a lot of horrible things to put in the background . Those thoughts will always rear their ugly head . Be as positive as you can and think of tomorrow . Jessica is back where she was before she was born and is warm in Gods arms again . I wish I could hug you .

I get to the point that i m tired of this process. i want to be happy again. but then you feel guilty cuz that person is dead and gone. its such a vicious cycle ... uhg

I know , and no one can help you . Give it time , have faith in tomorrow .

Praying that you will heal very soon, Sue. Once in a while I think I hear my son's voice and when I'm having computer problems I ask him why he couldn't have stayed with me longer to help me out. He is the one who introduced me to this new way of life.

i know i should be patient. ITs just so hard to stay strong for the living, I just get so tired .
To keep my cool and hold back tears when i m at the grocery store or with my other kids . I have to stay focused on them too. i can't forget about their needs and wants too. Its not fair to them if i curl up and sleep.
thank you all so much for your kind words and keeping me focused on faith.

We are always here Sue no matter when you need us or just for someone to listen. My prayers are constant....

Yeah , funny , here lately , Sue , you're about the first thing I think about , before I even get out of bed .
This is for all that have lost a child . (me too ) . It's been almost 60 years and I still get teary. Can't help but wonder, ' what if '?

Sue,
I can't imagine the struggle you're in. I hope someday she can send you a sign that she is so very happy now. I'm sure she is sad to see you so heartbroken. It's all going to take time. Always, ((((((HUGE HUGS)))))) and prayers.

wow thought i posted some pics on the thread the other week ?
well apparently i m just finishing stage 3 of the grieving journey. so i m entering stage 4 of the grieving journey
very complex as new emotions have run in my brain and my heart always conflicting wtih one another, gets a bit irritaing at time LOL
halloween is a constant struggle as it was her fav time of year , she was a halloween junkie and loved all the ghoul and gore that came wiht it.
*sigh* i just can't do the gore part . its to fresh still.
i did decorate her garden in the spirit for her
i hope to do this for each season. i want to put a living christmas tree in her garden but i hope i can still get one in ? decorate it with bird treats .
today snow ! yikes

Love the decorations Sue, and I know Gigi does too!

SUE! Did you get that much snow?????? We haven't had any!

I still think about you most every day . Hugs

What a great Halloween display! I just know she is loving it!