A message to those of you who have met John....

Someone suggested I write and let the members of the Mid Atlantic Gardeners group know that my husband John's father died recently. Mr. Watts was ninety and we knew he didn't have too many more years left, but as always, it is still a bit of a shock when we lose a loved one.

A few MA folks already know of the death. Mr. Watts died the day before Thanksgiving and was aware the last few days of a hospitalization that time was near. John was able to spend some quality time with his dad two days before the death at a time when his dad was in a good state. He gave his wrist watch to John who I have never known to wear a piece of jewelry and John hasn't taken the watch off since.

The Memorial was on Sunday afternoon at the Chapel of The Presbyterian Retirement Home where he and John's mother have lived for the past ten years. It was very well attended and some of the family had done picture tributes which were really interesting. His dad was an exceptional human being and I really hadn't realized how much so until I heard others speak of the impact he had on them in their lives and when I read his Obituary. Very accomplished man who lived a true Christian life. He not so much professed Christianity as lived it. I know that I personally have a much higher respect for him than previously. I didn't really realize that I was in the presence of such a wonderful person. I told John after the service that I owed his dad much in terms of gratitude for showing John how to love his wife. Many people commented on the true love he had for John's mom.

Anyway......this has been a particularly hard season for John due to also losing a life long friend a few months ago to lung cancer at age 55. John had spent most every spare moment he had the last nine months or so of Jerry's life with him and seeing to completing home projects that Jerry wanted done before he left. John was there for Jerry up until the end.

For most of our twenty year relationship, John has been the strong one for me as I seemed to live from one crisis to another. This is now my turn to step in to the shoes that he has worn for so many years. I hope he knows how much I love him and want to be there for him as he experiences these major losses.

Thank for reading folks and I will relay any and all messages that you folks may want to send. I am listed in the address exchange here if anyone may be so inclined as to send a card or something. We regard so many of you as true friends even though many miles separate us and only rarely do we get the opportunity to fellowship together. Again, thank you to each of you taking the time to read this.

Ruby

(((John and Ruby)))

Ruby, that was a lovely tribute. Here's wishing you peace and comfort during this difficult time and looking forward to a beautiful renewal of spirit and strength in the new year.

Sorry for your loss, sounds like a great man.

(((((hugs)))))))

Yes, Ruby, your post was a wonderful tribute.

Ruby--

I weep in y hear for your, and John's loss.....It is often, only then, when we realize what we "should have" done and did not...
It is so often that we do not learn of how valuable someone is in our lives--until they are not there any longer.
How great it would be that one's children would be imbedded in their souls as to how important their forefathers are to their future lives.

I have never know my Father--as he died when i was only 2 1/2yrs old. I have NO memory of him.
How I wish I did! I know nothing of his personality and his life interests.
My Mother never talked about him. I begged her to tell me something--and all she would ever say was:
"What is there to talk about???" She just could not ever deal with his early death at 36 leaving her a widow at 33.

Then the War years came--and we had to flee our countries to evade the imminent Soviet occupation.
My Mom and Grandmother were so overwhelmed with all the doubts and insecurities in their lives....
We three kids were only 5--7--and 9. NO man around to help! It was very hard on all of us....

OK! Sorry to digress...as usual....

I will hold you and John in my arms and thoughts in a BIG hug to help you deal with this.

Hey! Choose special plant and grow it for HIM as remembrance! Something he especially liked....
That would be wonderful.

Hugs to you both---Gita

I love Gita's plant suggestion. That's something John can think about in a pleasant direction and towards always having memories of Dad close by.
And by the way, don't many of us have daylilies from this man's efforts/ passion for daylilies? I have several. This is a tall, sweet scented, clear yellow from John's dad, via John.

This message was edited Dec 9, 2011 8:47 AM

Oh Ruby so sorry to hear of your and Johns loss. This must be terribly hard on John and I know you will give him all the love and support that you can.
When I look at the lovely Daylilies that you and John have given me I will think also of his father. Thank you. Holly

Oh you guys...you have choked me up with your kind words and spirit of love. Yes indeed, the Day Lilies we share are fruits of Mr. Watts and Mrs. Watts labor. They were member of the American Day Lily Society or some such and traveled often with the group when their health allowed.

Sally....mentioning the yellow one....We had a beautiful yellow re-bloomer bloom the week he died. The Monday before he died on Wednesday, John cut this beauty and put in a vase and took it to his dad's hospital room. John's sister Caroline, who held vigil these last months said that his dad pointed out the beautiful....ooops, it was an Iris, not a Day Lily to everyone who came in the room.

John is napping while I read this, but I will show him the thread later and I am sure he will want to thank each of you himself. Gita, your thoughts are very much appreciated and very wise. Yes, let this be used for any out there who may not have been paying proper honor and respect to others, to try during this season to make an effort to do better.

Here is letting you all know that once again, that we hold so many of you very close and dear to us. Oh yeah, one more tidbit. As I looked a bit up and in front of my desk there are two small vases each with pine bows and a stem of some sort of Orchid which is full of blooms that were given to each person attending the Memorial. I will take a picture and share here. Oh yes, they have a red ribbon tied around the neck.

Again, thank each of you for your kind words and thoughts.

Ruby

So sorry for your loss John, it will take some time till the ache passes to a smile as you think of him. (((hugs))) Ric
When I see day lilys I think of John and his telling about his father's collection. I believe one this was from it.

These too. They are really nice , I divided into several new clumps, and I'll be sharing a few pots next spring from them.

Ruby and John - just seen this, you are both in my heart and thoughts - now I know why John is such a wonderful man, he learned from his dad! I love you both and hope to see you soon - hugs, Becky

Ruby, I just read of the loss of your loved one - know that we love you and are saddened for your family.

Thanks everyone. I haven't checked the threads at Daves for quite some time and am just now seeing this. Thank you to Ric and Sally for sharing the Day Lily pictures here. The two times I have had John read the messages to him on line from folks who have sent messages, he was unable to continue reading due to breaking down each time. Some time has now passed and his dad certainly still comes up in conversation quite often and I know that we have both been impressed with the stories we have heard about his dad that we didn't know until now.

I don't know if Imentioned it here or not but two days before his dad's death his dad gave him a Christmas card with a very nice check in it. Last week I received a card from his mother who in reality is pretty much out things mentally due to dementia. I too had a check made out to me signed by John's sister who is a lawyer and is handling the estate and acting as Power of Attorney for their mother. When I wrote to thank his sister, she wrote and told me that it was Mr. Watts idea that I get a very nice check too. I was stunned for a couple of hours that morning because I never in a million years expected something to come to me personally. Just another reason to know that he was a great man all around.

Due to the gift from John's folks I was able to financially help a few people that I know are in need currently. That felt really good to be able to do it this year. Again, I thank each of you for taking the time to post here. Ric and Holly, we received a beautiful sympathy card from you all and have had it sitting on the tall counter in our kitchen where we see it from all angles in the room. Thank you so much again for everything.

Ruby

Ruby, it couldn't have happened to a more deserving, generous and Godly person!

What a blessing!

Thanks ladies. I am still feeling the awesome effects of it. I was just sitting here thinking how even though we often go through dry periods as far as finances go, the way it has been for me over the years, something always comes through to pull us out of whatever trouble we may find ourselves in.

You cannot imagine my thrill whenever John returns from a visit to the Pharmacy where I have some house plants for sale and he hands me the money from the sale of one of them, or more. It isn't much, but it makes me feel good that someone is actually paying for work my hands have done, plus eventually small amounts add up to large ones.

This morning he handed me another five dollars. This is from his purchase of lottery tickets that he purchased and gave as gifts this year. He bought me one of each of the offerings at the pharmacy and that must have run in to a bit of money. So far, only the five dollar return, but scratching the tickets makes for a lot of fun. I still have a bag full of cards to scratch. It would be nice if the returns would actually pay for what he originally spent. All in good fun though.

Later in the spring after my house plants have gone outdoors to live, I plan to re-carpet the house with the nice check from John's folks. It is something I have wanted to do for five plus years and never got around to doing until now. I will think of who made it all possible each step I take each and every day.

Love and all that jazz to all of you my special friends.

Ruby

...love and all that jaz... That's cute!
Yes, something you'll enjoy everyday sounds nice.

Ruby--

Not to advertise HD here--but they run some amazing rug-install specials.....
Like--$39 install fee for the whole house? Sometimes, it is $69. Of course, you have to pay for the rug.

Just call and ask for the Flooring dept. and let them tell you what is "running" at the time....

Gita

Oh Ruby, I know just what you mean. The excitement over selling something you grew and the fun. I think it is the idea of found money, doesn't even have to be a lot. I use to get so excited when I would cash in my coins, really just a few dollars worth of pennies or nickles but it was just so much fun. We made a haul with junk metal this spring. Really it was a clean up but I think we got about $60.00 with all the cans I have been saving. I couldn't wait to see how much I would make from them. LOL

Thanks Gita, when carpet installing time comes, I will probably check at both Home Depot and Lowes. See who is running the best deal at the time and do that. Only thing I am dreading is moving furniture during the installation. Having sick dog and white carpeting yesterday put a bee in my bonnet. Nah, just another reason to hate the white rug.

Holly, I know, I LOVE feeling as though I am getting something for nothing.....or very little effort on my part. I will soon be dividing up the three Peace Lilies I have and starting some smaller pots in hopes of selling at Farmer Market next year. The one that you and Ric gave me is doing great. As always I am appreciative of each plant that comes my way and I always think of each of you when tending them.

Much love to all today.

Ruby

Hi Ruby & John, So sorry I am so late in getting this to you but as you well know, I am addicted to Facebook. Anyway, so sorry to hear about john's Dad. Be strong as my Mom would have said. We miss you and sometime this spring-summer-fall, we will be up to visit you. Hugs, Judy & Bob Showers

Hi Ruby! Hope you and John are doing well. I haven't been in DG much and was glad to see this thread was still active. I'm hoping ya'all can come to the swap in mid-May. I'm so looking foward to seeing everyone I don't see at the seed swap in Fredrick, Ric

Thanks for checking in Judy. Yep, I too have had times when Facebook took up my Dave's time. At the moment and for some time now, I am usually at Dave's and only very rarely show up at Facebook these days. Oh sure, hope we can get together on one of your trips down, we always enjoying talking with both of you.

Thanks for writing Ric. Oh yeah, we will definitely see about getting to your swap in May. The one we attended there a few years back was wonderful. I really loved your place. My goodness a lot of back breaking work has gone in to making it what it is today. Both you and Holly should be very proud of your accomplishments. Thank you and Holly for the card you sent us when Mr. Watts died. It was a beautiful card with a beautiful sentiment.

Hope to see a lot of you good folks before too long.

Ruby

Ruby, the two of you are welcome to stop over to or from the spring plant swap, too. (One of these days, I'll get you in my guest room! LOL)

Ruby, Bob & I will be there. So nice to see you guys again. Hugs, Judy.

Ruby--

Did you see my post on the "What's Happening...etc" Thread?
I told you that we had Purple passion plants in the little 3.8" pots
There were 3 left---I bought the best of the three for you. These cost $3.67.

Will take good care of it....it has 4 stems which "could" be cut back and new plants started.
If you like...I can do it for you--but the Swap is only a couple of weeks away....

Will bring it for you to the seed swap....Hope you are coming....Gita

Here it is----

Sure thing Gita - No, didn't see your message yet on the what's happening thread. But, sure bring them to the swap and I gladly reimburse you for the cost. Thank you for doing that for me. Yippie!!! I bought two of the PP's at Home Depot last fall. One if doing very well and the other is struggling along. I really love these plants and they were a good seller last summer at the Farmer's Market.

Oh gosh, I will post this on the seed swap thread too, but it sounds like I will be taking home a lot of live plants that day. Any suggestions on not killing them while in the car that day??

Yippie Judy....will be great to see you and Bob again too. So many of the cuttings and slips you brought to me on the first visit to our place last March have given me much delight over the summer and still. Some have flourished and really added a lot of new interest to my houseplant collection. You shared some things that I had never thought of purchasing or asking for in the past but they have actually become some of my very favorites now. Thank you for being such a kind and giving spirit.

Jill, as far as traveling and visiting, our schedule these days is much less than in years prior. We used to visit New Jersey and drive on to Cape Cod quite often and in the past three or so years, not so much. During all the trips north, John and I would mention stopping in to visit with you, but could never be arranged. Now that we have visited and felt so very welcomed, next trips, a stop over for a cup of coffee or a soda will definitely be put on the agenda. At the present there are no plans on traveling north any time soon other than the scheduled trip on Feb. 11, which we are both looking forward to.

You gals are all so super in my eyes!!! Getting excited about seeing everyone soon.

Ruby

Ruby--

There is no "them" it is ONE plant! As you can see i the picture...
Maybe you got the "them" idea because I said you could cut back all of the 4 stems and get 4 more plants.

You say one of yours is struggling. Maybe you should cut off the growing tips and start new plants.
If there are long, bare stems in between, cut those off too and let the original plant re-grow fresh.
This is a good way to rejuvenate plants.....

Can you take a picture of the "struggling" one to show me? You know--a picture is worth a thousand words.

Gita

Ruby, mostly we'll hope we don't have a freezing cold day on the 11th! If the weather really doesn't cooperate, we'll figure something out, like -- plant swap in Critter's front hall LOL instead of the parking lot. For smaller plants and cuttings, think about bringing along a cooler (insulation works both ways, so a "cooler" will also help hold warmth in around the plants)...

Hmmm.....interesting idea Critter about the cooler. I asked John if we could bring along a thermal blanket if he thought that would help matters. He said it may not help, but it won't hurt either. So, if need be, we can take turns going out and starting the car and the heater every so often. I suspect both John and I will be going out for cigarette breaks anyway....so it will be okay. You know what? Maybe it will be another day in the 60's like we have had several of this week. That would be great, wouldn't it?

Alright Gita. I will go and take a picture of the pp and post it for you. You are probably correct about possibly cutting some of it back and then rooting the piece. So far, I have good success in getting them to root in water, not so much on the leaf tips in the soil, but have had a few of those grow in the past too. I just wish the one I had a few years ago were still living and thriving the way it did then. I actually had it bloom for me once, a small orange color bloom which was interesting with the purple.

Ruby

I'm bringing you a few nice clean looking small plastic pots for your many rootings and babies going to market. Just a few, but thats a few less to come up with.
if Swap day is reasonably mild or sunny, those plants will be just fine.
I'm glad you two are planning to come!

sally--

Are you shaming me to bring some small pots also? You know I have oodles and oodles....

Ruby---Would 4" pots be what you need? I could bring some 6" pots as well.
Let me know.....

I am still at work--till 6PM. Gotta finish my seed sorting....been at it for many days and evenings
as time permits...still lots to do.
Yesterday--I had to make a special trip to WW to buy more of those little baggies. Ran out.....
Got 6 packs...They syre go fast!

Bring them on ladies. It sounds as though, without me asking for the first thing yet, that our car is going to be full yet once again. hahaha I absolutely love it!!!

Gita, either or for the size pots will do. We will use them for sure.

Ruby