Heidi Chronicles: Have a Cigar

I am so sorry for your loss, it must have been quite a shock.

Laura

************************ HEIDI ALERT ***********************

STILL no sign of Heidi!

She certainly seems to be going for that dramatic entrance this time. I don't know when it is officially safe to start worrying, but I sure feel like I'm getting very close to my limit for not worrying.

Hang in there, Cheryl; Heidi looked great going into the delivery phase, and if karma and positive thinking from all her fans count for anything, she will be fine.

I will be back later to address each of your posts individually. For now I just want to express my most sincere appreciation for all of your condolences.

Cocoa had just begun to show considerable trust for me just days before his brother's death. This one fact made it possible for me to provide comfort and friendship when he needed it. Since Tabby's death, I have gone out of my way to spend more time with Cocoa. He seems to be adjusting quite well. To keep him from feeling so alone, I've been going outside several times each night, spending some 15-20 min with him each time. Kitty has been spending a lot of time indoors. This morning when she woke me up at her usual 5:30AM, instead of fussing, I got up, fed her, let her out, and then used this 'found' time (when I'm normally sleeping) to play with Cocoa.

In an unexpected twist of fate, without his brother around Cocoa seems all the more willing and eager to trust me and interact with me. Perhaps this is because he's alone now and needs a friend. Perhaps it's because his brother, who still distrusted me greatly, is no longer communicating this distrust to him and urging caution. Perhaps the truth is a little of both. Whatever the reason, Cocoa has now accelerated in his efforts to become a pet. My biggest problem with him now is that he make it almost impossible for me to get out the door sometimes because he will get down on the floor and wallow around under my feet so fearlessly that I'm afraid I may step on him.

Last night when I left him the last time, Cocoa was curled up on the dog bed I had put out for him, his arms wrapped around his new buddy, the comfort dog, in a manner not unlike he had previously slept with Tabby. I was actually surprised that the bed and comfort dog had worked out so well for him. I had expected him to ignore them. I felt much better about leaving him out there cuddling with the stuffed dog and sleeping in the dog bed. Here is the type of 'dog' to which I refer (except ours is brown): http://www.sassypup.net/Comfort-Pals-Puppy-Dog-Toy-hear-the-sound-of-a-mothers-heartbeat-p-16389.html

Strangely enough, in his brother's absence Cocoa now seems more energetic, playful, and active. This morning after I finished playing with him and came back inside, I could still hear him out there 'having a blast', chasing toys, tossing them around, etc.

I have been able to pick him up a few times now to place him on my lap (while I'm seated on the porch floor). Although he gets back down within a minute or so, he doesn't show any sign of being frightened. This morning I found that he will climb right up into my lap on his own if I just drag the toy across my lap while playing with him. Once there, he will cuddle up and stay 'forever' as long as I pet him, caress him, and play with him. This is particularly encouraging.

As for me, I doing ok, too. I wasn't all that close to Tabby really. I cared about him and did my very best to take care of him, but as he continued to distrust me greatly ever since I tried to hold onto him that one day weeks ago, Tabby had kept his distance, and I hadn't been able to get very close to him. Although I miss his cute little face and his antics, I am not grieving his passing in the way one grieves for a close pet.

*************** Heidi Alert *****************

Still no Heidi sightings. I don't know what to think anymore.

Oh nuts. What's keeping me from hitting the panic button is the thought that surely you'd see some indication in the yearlings' behavior if something awful had happened to Heidi? I realize that, of necessity, animals in the wild have a "life must go on" attitude; but this is Heidi, the mother of many and the queen of all. Surely there'd be some restlessness or unsettledness showing in their behavior, wouldn't there? [Grasping at straws here and hoping for the best...]

Cheryl, I just read of Tabby's death and am so sorry for your loss. It's good to hear that Cocoa is making more efforts to be friends now that he doesn't have his brother to play with. Sure hope Heidi shows up soon.

Susan

had to wait a couple of days before I could type without crying. Even though never met Tabby and am a dog person, can't help but get emotional over loss of any animal.

Hopefully Heidi will show soon. There may be some thing going on out in the woods and she feels better right now foraging near the kits and making sure they strong enough and big enough before she heads to the buffet.

The one feral cat that ha d tagged me before, I knew ha d her kittens as she was not sporting a fat belly. I don't know how many she has ha d yet, but she did have them up in under my trailer. Was out transplanting on porch yesterday and heard small cry and went to hunting what it was. Found one kitten that ha d fallen out the hole under the trailer and laying on the ground. Hollering for mom.

Put the gloves on and crawled under the trailer and checked it out. Was able to hold it with out too much spitting at me. Not sure how old it is, but it ha sits eye s open , not too far yet , but at least it seems healthy. Took it up to the owner of the momma cats house and told her get a kitten box ready.

Isn't it amazing that they will hiss and spit, even at that young age? Must be instinct. It's cute when they act so big and bad when they're so tiny!
Monday I will try again to catch the one remaining female kitty to get her to the spay/neuter clinic. She is very elusive since I had her in the trap and she escaped before the door shut.
My male patient is doing very well, eating and drinking and using the litter box.

KyWoods,

I was wondering if you ever finished that task. Glad to hear that you are down to just 1, but since it's a girl, you know what that means. If you don't get her soon, you'll be back where you started - needing to catch and 'fix' an entire litter. I can totally relate to the frustrations of dealing with a cat/kitten that just won't cooperate and get in that trap.

My males walked around looking sore for a day or two - actually they looked more 'injured' than Kitty even though she had major surgery. After the initial few days, they were fine. I didn't keep them inside.

Got out before the door closed? Are you using a Hav-a-hart trap. Mine closes almost instantly. I can't imagine anything getting out fast enough.

Have you tried changing things up. Moving the trap to different locations? Trying different types of food? Have you tried can tuna? That worked especially well for me. I figure if they are afraid of the trap, you need to offer them something they can't resist. If you can do so without blocking the door closing mechanism, you might also try covering the trap so it looks different. I can't cover my trap (because of the spring mechanism on top). With Tabby, who had also been in the trap before and been released and who seemed determined not to go in it again, I had success when I moved the trap placing the long side up against a line of hedges (the sides of which were clipped flat). Since I couldn't cover it, I was hoping the hedge would make the one side 'disappear' thus making it look a little less like a trap. It worked.

Wishing you lots of luck.

Linda,

What an incredible story about your cat Teddy. You've certainly had some wonderful cats. Kitten sounds like a sweetie, too.

June,

I'm not sure what a lap rug is. Is that anything like a throw? You know, the small 5ft or so square blanket-like thing for keeping warm in a chair? It's kind of a moot point anyhow. The dog bed is on top of my bed. They don't really need the dog bed at all since obviously my bed is soft enough already.

Originally, I put the little 24" dog bed at the far corner of the bed to define for Widget 'his' space. Training him to sleep in his bed kept him from sleeping on my legs effectively pinning them to the bed by holding the cover taunt. Also, when I needed space, it allowed me to say, "Go get in your bed." Naturally, now that Kitty is sleeping in Widget's bed, Widget is back trying to sleep on my legs. Eventually, after I wash it, I'll try putting his other bed up there, too, next to Kitty's bed. In time, that may also encourage them to sleep together.

Ruth,

Thanks for helping me to stay semi-calm in Heidi's prolonged absence. She is certainly pushing it to the limit this time around. I believe in being fashionably late in order to make the grand entrance, but she is definitely past that now.

Since that frightful incident at the buffet, I've been keeping Kitty inside while I'm at the buffet. It's possible that a night may come when I will be unable to locate her at feeding time, but most of the time it's not a problem. If she isn't already inside, she is usually nearby waiting for dinner and will come running if called - so far.

Sheri,

Tabby always did look more spotted than striped, especially when viewed from above (looking down on his back as that's where the stripes completely dissolve into separate spots. I think his spots were better defined when he was younger though.

Mink! That's it. I was trying to recall the type of fur Cocoa's coat reminded me of. That's it. His fur is short, ultra dense, and amazingly soft, very much like mink in look, feel, and even color. I'll have to look some of those cats up to see how they compare with Cocoa.

As for Elvis, I can relate to the experience of having an older dog. When you've had them that long they are such pillars of the family and yet you begin to realize that time is running short. I truly sympathize. All you can do, of course, is take very good care of him and try to enjoy as much of your remaining time with him as you can. Best wishes for many more great years with Elvis! Some small breeds can live to 20 and beyond.

KyWoods,

I don't think the kids were trying to hit Tabby - not with me out there watching. I'm not even sure if they are the ones who hit him. The way they were behaving, I suspect they either hit him and then slowed down and turned around that way to see if there was anything they could do to help him or they may have come along after the accident, saw him lying in the opposite lane, and turned around to go back to see if he was still alive.

For the most part the people in this neighborhood are ultra nice people who drive slowly on community streets to look out for wildlife, pets, and kids. The ducks and geese are always in the street around here. People slow down and even stop to wait for them to get out of the street. We also have a number of police who patrol the area regularly - along with citizens like Gladys. That's why it's so amazing that Tabby managed to get hit.

Tabby was hit in front of my neighbor's house. They have a million cars over there - 2 parents, 3 teens and all of their friends. They routinely line the street with all the cars that don't fit in the drive (even though they aren't supposed to). I was wondering how (1) a car got that close to Tabby before he could run away and (2) Tabby managed to be in the road w/o the driver seeing him in time to stop (with a 25mph speed limit). I think he probably darted out from between those cars on the side of the street. He probably darted out right in the path of the car. The cars on the side of the street probably blocked his view of oncoming traffic such that when he darted out he didn't realize there was a car approaching. The driver would not have seen him until he stepped out from between the parked cars directly in the path of the tire. I'm pretty sure this was a true accident and the parked cars on the street probably played a part.

All that said, there have been some incidents in the neighborhood in the past few years involving some very bad kids. The police and the HOA are on their trail. They know who the kids are and are itching to press charges against them AND the parents. They just need to catch them in the act and/or get more evidence to make sure it sticks. This small group of teen males has done a variety of despicable things. Thankfully, they don't live in the area near me. They killed turtles and ducks last year. The HOA was furious and vowed to press every possible charge against them if they could catch them. The same kids, who are out late at night unsupervised and who clearly have too much free time, have egged homes and cars near them and even broken car windows to take things from cars. Prior to this group of kids reaching an age to act up this way, we never had any problems in our quiet little neighborhood. So far though, these kids (and their pranks) have remained in the area near their homes which, thankfully, is well away from my house. I really don't think they were involved in this. I really think Tabby died due to an accident that could not be avoided.

Thank you, Marylyn,

I really appreciate all of the support I've received from all of you.

Thanks, Liz,

Thanks to you and Ruth for reminding me that I did do all that I could to make his short life as comfortable as was possible under the circumstances. Before my financial circumstances changed requiring that I avoid all unnecessary expenses, I even fed him canned tuna a couple of times. I bought a 4pk of canned tuna for the cats back then and sat out there sharing the tuna between them. I also bought them Fancy Feast Medleys and some Evo and other high-end brands of cat food. Even when I brought Kitty inside, I would take a little of the canned food out to the kittens sometimes so they wouldn't be left out. I put out rugs for them to sleep on - even though I didn't like the way that stuff looked at the front door (you couldn't see it from the street, so it wasn't a problem for the HOA, but it looked junky if you walked up to the door). I spent my time out there daily sitting with the kittens so the opossum wouldn't take their food. I put spicy micey and other toys out for them and played with them with the fishing pole.

Tabby hated me. He never forgave me for trying to hold on to him that one time and always looked at me with complete disdain, but I do think that I helped to make his life better and less stressful once he and Cocoa moved to the front door (from wherever Kitty had them hidden before that).

I did my best. Thank you.

Thanks, Laura,

I was especially surprised that it happened to Tabby. Just a week or so earlier I had commented that I was afraid Cocoa would get run over in the street. At dusk the kittens seemed to have a daily routine of chasing insects, anything that jumped, flew, or otherwise scurried. I don't know what dusk had to do with it, but that seemed to be peak time for chasing these bugs in the lawn and such. The kittens seemed to really enjoy this very brief interval of high insect activity and look forward to it each day. Cocoa in particular chased flying insects back and forth across the street and seemed far too engrossed in what he was doing such that I feared he might not notice an approaching car. Thankfully, this brief period of insect games only lasts maybe 20min or so after which the kittens settle down and stay up around the front door for the rest of the night.

Ruth,

When I 1st read your post, I wasn't too encouraged by the argument. After all, you are also counting on the one human to recognize and correctly identify the strange behavior that would signal a problem. And since the human has never seen this behavior before and won't know what to look for, it wasn't encouraging initially. Then, as an extension of your words, it occurred to me ...

This is highly coveted raccoon (and opossum) real estate. If the Queen were gone, I should think at a minimum I would see some outsiders, even perhaps some of Heidi's older daughters and sons, coming to the buffet. After all, Heidi as ruler of the area, is the only thing keeping all those other raccoons, Ursula, Cruella, and all of Heidi's prior generations, from coming back to partake of the free food and goodies. They all know about this place. They have dined here in the past and would surely remember the good food. The only reason they don't return is Heidi. Right? So if something happened to Heidi, I should be seeing lots more activity at the buffet. Right?

The other change I would expect if Heidi were gone would be a change in the behavior of the buffet guests. I think some of them might loose their manners and start 'acting a fool' if Heidi weren't coming back.

I sure hope you are right. Heidi is certainly pushing it to the limit here and writing her own suspense novel. I sure wish she would hurry back. I am starting to worry a bit now.

Thank you, Susan,

I sure hope Heidi returns soon, too - and in good health.

Hi Starlight,

It was awfully sad that 1st night, wasn't it. Once I hid the body and Cocoa stopped trying to sit with Tabby, I started to feel a little better. Then when I realized that Cocoa was doing ok on his own and that he would let me play with him, pet him, and comfort him, I felt like things would be better than I had imagined. My biggest concerns had been for Cocoa, but as is usually the case with animals, Cocoa is handling it quite well.

Glad to hear that you were able to rescue the fallen kitten before some predator found it.

Now if that Heidi would just show up.

It's hard when you care about a wild animal. I hope Heidi turns up okay! Nothing you can do, anyway. Just wait...that's hard.

I had to LOL! I thought that "lap robe" was the more common term for "throw", I guess I was wrong about that...funny how regional dialects work. I should have remembered that my sister-in-law in NC is not from there and probably uses terms that her Mass. Mom taught her.
I used throws in each room and on the bed to show my dog where his place to lay was. He would have preferred to sleep on my ankles or the knee area, and that makes for an uncomfortable night for us humans.
I am trying to not worry about Heidi by remembering that she was so fat and healthy when you opened the buffet and that she has lots of other resources and lots of years of experience in living without help. And I am hoping that the weird winter that we all just went through brings out all of the yummiest foods for her.
Well, Here's Hoping!

I'm glad that the bad kids aren't your immediate neighbors. Maybe the kids that drove by were worried that they had hit the poor baby.
I said a little prayer that Heidi is okay and will make an appearance soon.

Sorry, still no sign of Heidi. I don't think I can wait any longer. I think I might have to start worrying now. Still, only 4 well behaved yearlings showed up for dinner tonight.

Oh, Heidi! If only she had a cell phone! Will pray for her some more.

This message was edited Apr 17, 2010 7:57 PM

Good point, Cheryl, about other raccoons moving in if Heidi were gone; and I think it's likely true. I'll use that as a worry averter for a bit...

Cocoa update:

I am completely baffled now. Over the past few days I've worked on picking Cocoa up, 1st to my lap, then to my chest, and now to my shoulder and cheek. This morning I lifted him to my chest where he nestled and cuddled as I petted him and scratched around his ears. Then I lifted him up to my shoulder, where he nestled up against my cheek and cuddled like the tamest kitten on the planet. He could not have been sweeter or more lovable if he had been cuddled since birth. At no time did he try to get down. He seemed as comfortable nestled in my arms as on the floor.

Can someone please explain this to me? Please. I'm serious. What happened here? This kitten was supposed to be beyond all hope. He was supposedly beyond the age at which he could possibly bond with humans. We could never get the 'wildness' out of him, the SPCA rep said.

I wish you could watch him playing with me, cuddling, being held. There is nothing about him that even hints of his former time in the wild. He acts just as if he recalls having been held and cuddled as a baby. In another life perhaps? And where did that 'wildness' go.

I'm serious. I don't get it. Can anyone explain? Have any of you known of an almost grown kitten making this relatively sudden conversion from wild to tame. It was only a few weeks ago, in fact, that I could barely reach down and pet Cocoa while he was eating. 3 out of 4 times this would result in him running away, hiding in the bushes, and refusing to come back. Now I have even passed the holy grail of cat petting - I can reach for his head with my hand coming towards his face and in full sign. That was always the thing most certain to freak the kittens out and send them scurrying to safety somewhere, looking back at me with fear and disdain. Now little Cocoa stands firm, pushing his head into and against my hand as it approaches his face.

Seriously. What happened here? Could it be, if Cocoa really is a bit 'slow' (even for a male), that his effective age was far below his chronological age, and this made him much younger, in effect, than the SPCA folks realized. Could it be that his mental age is that of a very young kitten well below the age at which it is still possible to tame them? Could his slowness have been a blessing in disguise?

The real change in Cocoa occurred very quickly after I started playing with them with that fish on the pole. It was as if he suddenly got it, suddenly realized that predators don't play with you friends do. But he's not that smart, right? Yet that was the moment when our relationship changed. All of the rest of this, everything that has come after, has just been part of learning and exploring the boundaries. The real change was seen in him then.

Whatever the reason, whatever the explanation, Cocoa has suddenly become like putty in my hands. I can hold him and move him about at will. He remains as soft and pliable as any kitten tame from birth. There is no sign of stress in his body. No worry about what I am doing or will do to him. I love it, but I really must tell you that I don't understand it at all.

Hi Ruth,

Good. Then we can work off each other, each scratching the bottom of that barrel in search of reasons to hold off worrying yet another day or so. : )

So, can you offer any explanation for my cat situation? You are a cat person. Can you tell me how this could have happened with Cocoa, that he can now be held and cuddled, picked up, hoisted to the shoulder, nestled against the cheek, etc, etc.?

In case anyone is concerned about Kitty:

Lately all we hear about is Cocoa, right? So is Kitty 'out'? No, not to worry. Kitty just went outside after spending the night in 'her' bed at the foot of mine. (Actually, it appears that Widget is 'out'.) Kitty comes in and out throughout the day and often spends the night inside. She is in a weird place right now. She just doesn't seem to want any interaction with me.

I wish it weren't so. Wish she would enjoy being cuddled. But right now it seems my only function in her life is to open doors at the appropriate times and fetch dinner. I'm letting her have her space. Most of the time she sleeps. I can't help but wonder if her current attitude may be driven in part by the hormonal changes she must surely be dealing with post surgery. So I am patiently doing my job as doorman and waiter while hoping to eventually expand my into other realms.

So, no, Kitty is still 'in'. It's just at her own choice that she is keeping to herself for now. Cocoa, on the other hand, is all cuddly and sweet and eager to hug and play. He's moving forward in leaps and bounds, and that just naturally makes for better story.

Heck yes, by all means let's play off each other, coming up with good reasons not to worry, to help each other and all of Heidi's many fans get through this nail-biting time of waiting for her to reappear as she always does: thin and exhausted but unvanquished.

Yes, there's no doubt that Kitty is going through a lot that can affect her behavior: hormonal changes, as you mentioned, losing Tabby (just because she acts unconcerned doesn't mean she didn't notice), and mainly the physical and emotional exhaustion of a tame cat forced to adjust to life on her own outdoors, mating, birthing, raising and protecting kittens, etc., etc. She has come a very long way in trusting you; but giving her whole heart to a human will take a good bit longer. She has good reason to fear that she will pay a high cost for emotional attachment to people.

Cocoa's sudden turnabout is delightful, and there are lots of factors to consider in trying to explain it. First and foremost, you need to understand that the SPCA is in the same very difficult position all shelters find themselves in: far too many cats and kittens come in, especially during the warm weather seasons, than can possibly be adopted. The only rational way to deal with the problem, both to preserve a bit of the staff members' sanity and to avoid misunderstandings/complaints from the public, is to establish firm rules and to be as hardhearted as possible about sticking to those rules. Working with ferals to try to tame them is incredibly time-intensive for shelter staff, for whom time is always in far too short supply, and their hearts inevitably become invested in each kitten they work with. When ferals in whom staff have invested their time and hearts fail to be adopted, while younger, tame from birth kittens move in and out quickly, the staff goes through the same compassion fatigue experienced by EMTs and nurses who lose their patients, firefighters who can't save everyone, etc. Most older feral kittens and virtually all adults are difficult to tame to the point that will make them truly satisfying to adopters as companion pets; notice that I said most, not all older kittens. All this being true, it is a very wise and sensible rule to tell citizens that they have a cutoff age, beyond which they can't try to tame ferals. But it does not mean that all older feral kittens cannot be tamed; experienced shelter workers know this to be true, but to tell the public this would be entirely self-defeating. The SPCA already knew you were voluntarily investing a good bit of your time, money and energy in trapping this cat family, and that you intended to adopt Kitty - and that time, patience, money, etc. would be needed to get her fully comfortable again in life as a companion pet. They would have been foolish to suggest that you try to do the same with the kittens, given that you'd be inheriting a three-cat family, and that taming the kittens would be a much more lengthy process, and one by no means guaranteed to succeed.

As for Cocoa himself, yes, it is a blessing and a help in this case that he is the protypical simple, sweet and less than genius level male cat. This makes him less likely to remember and hold a grudge, more able and willing to accept life as it comes, and to accept things at face value without worrying or puzzling over them. First he saw that his mother - protector, teacher, mentor and guide - learned to trust you; that she disappeared often into your house and would return looking rested, well-fed and not at all stressed. You made his family members disappear one at a time in the scary cage, but they always came back; the same thing happened to him, but he came back to safe and familiar home ground. You became a source of unexpected and wonderful food, soft places to sleep, gentle voice and endless patience; then you brought games and toys: wow!! His mother allowed you to touch her, and seemed to enjoy it; he tried it, and found it really quite nice. Gradually his mother began spending more time in the house with you, and this probably made him a bit sad; but she always came back, and he had Tabby for mentor and company. Now his brother is dead; and while his mother still comes back to spend time with him, she is much more distant than she used to be. She seems to enjoy and look forward to time in the house; he is lonely; he's learned to trust you enough to allow his simple, loving nature to start to emerge, and you're welcoming that. In short, his simple mind is thinking that being your cat feels good, and beats the heck out of being outside alone, hot and uncomfortable and lonely. He's doing his very very best to win you over because you've become his light at the end of the tunnel; how's he doing so far??

spartacusbaby...you are so right. I've heard the stories of people having to "tame" even purebred cats or kittens which occasionally are not as well socialized as they should be, even raised in a house by a person. The cure is almost always exactly what DreamOfSpring is doing...attention, treats, picking up and petting for short periods of time, etc. It almost always works fairly fast, and with some cats can take a bit longer. Often, it's a matter of a few days to a couple of weeks when we hear back that a breakthrough has been made.

A similar thing has happened to the black & white Casey, who now just loves to be petted and played with (not held much...he only tolerates that briefly). Only he had shown hints of that even before, always was the one that I had hope for. Then when I trapped him and got him and his sister fixed, he changed and didn't trust me for a while. Thank goodness he eventually forgave me for that. The other male kitten also likes some petting, but not so tame as Casey.

Awww, that's a pretty kitty, Linda!
Cheryl, perhaps Cocoa understood that you were trying to comfort him when he lost his brother.

Once again, no Heidi. :-(

There were only 3 yearlings at the buffet, all Heidi's yearlings: the Lt, Joey, and the light colored one. No sign of problems. The yearlings were very quiet and well behaved. I'm pretty sure the Lt and the light colored one are both 'with raccoon'. The Lt, while much smaller than Heidi when she left, is growing daily and now looks a bit chubby for a yearling. She probably has 1 to 2 kits in there I figure. If Heidi doesn't get back soon, the Lt may have to leave, too, leaving no one in command.

Ruth,

Thank you very much for that very insightful explanation. You explanation of Cocoa's situation makes a lot of sense. Actually, the SPCA had even more incentive to reach that conclusion about the kittens because the question was whether I would leave the kittens for them to try to adopt out or take them back to my house as part of the TNR. They weren't so much suggesting that I give up on trying to tame the kittens (should I keep them) but rather that they would have to put them down if I left them (therefore, if keeping them was an option, I might want to do so).

Your explanation of Kitty's behavior was most helpful. She has repeatedly insisted on being left alone (except for providing food and opening doors). These days she won't even come when called - as she used to do. She doesn't want to be held or even petted. I decided to let her have her space and wait for her to come to me if she changes her mind. Meanwhile, I patiently serve dinners and open doors. She sleeps at the foot of my bed many nights, but comes and goes w/o even coming over to 'speak' to me. Occasionally, I may stop and pet her briefly, but mostly I leave her be.

It's a huge change over the cat I adopted. It's like a bait and switch. I must admit to being disappointed. You explanation helped me to understand. Of course. She's like a child adopted later in life. They typically fear that the adoptive parents will get rid of them if they misbehave or even if the new parents get tired of them, so they act up almost as if trying to push the new parents away. I think that very much fits Kitty's recent behavior. I will try to be ever more patient and give her time to realize that I am not going to send her away.

Edited to add that he is doing quite well, actually. A few weeks ago when he was running from me, I wasn't that fond of him, but now that he's being so adorable, he's quite irresistible. Something to take note of for my own behavior. it's the old 'you can catch more flies with sugar...' thing.

This message was edited Apr 18, 2010 4:55 AM

News regarding Kitty and Cocoa:

Tonight I worked on picking Cocoa up when I'm standing upright. He had to stay calm while being lifted from the ground up to my chest/shoulder. I thought this might be the show stopper, but he handled it incredibly well. I picked him 2x (over a period of time). Both times I nestled him against my cheek and hugged and cuddled him for a minute or two before putting him back gently back on the ground again.

Once tonight when I took Widget out, I was standing there waiting with Widget at the end of his leash when suddenly I heard a 'motor' running. I looked down at my feet to see Cocoa lying beside my feet purring away. This was another step forward. Until now, I had always petted Cocoa and played with him up near the door. I wasn't sure if that same level of comfort would extend to other locations where he might recall his days (only a few short weeks ago) of running from me.

I went outside one time tonight to give Cocoa a little of the salmon I had microwaved for them earlier. (The last of the two 2yr old fillets from the freezer.) I had taken the salmon out this morning when I was making my breakfast. While I was cooking it and putting it in a container for the cats for later, I had given Kitty bite sized portions of both raw and cooked salmon. All day she had remembered that salmon, several times trying her best to tell me she wanted more. This evening, I had given her some with dinner and then had gone outside to give Cocoa a little.

While Cocoa was eating, I heard Kitty at the door (inside). I opened the door to let her come out and gave her a big chunk of salmon. When she had finished the salmon, I reached to pet her. As my hand touched her neck and gave her a little 'scritch' behind the ears, she growled at me. Surprised, I withdrew my hand and then tried again. Again she growled. Then she turned to Cocoa who was sitting about a foot away from her licking his paws, and without provocation of any kind, she growled and hissed at him and then batted him with her paw before storming away.

Wow! I certainly had not expected this. As Kitty would not come back to me after that incident, she spent the night outside. Around 3AM when I awoke, I took Widget out and then sat down on the mat to play with Cocoa a few minutes. While we were playing, I looked up to see Kitty lying in the little dog bed I had put out there for Cocoa. Apparently, she had spent the night there and had been there the whole time although I had failed to notice her until this moment - and there I was holding and petting Cocoa maybe 2-3 ft away from her.

I called Kitty, and she got up from the bed, but instead of coming to me, she walked past Cocoa and me. Cocoa was sitting by his dish eating cat food when she went by. She growled and hissed at him and batted him with her paw then ran to the end of the walkway and out of sight. I had thought Kitty was gone. Then after a few minutes I saw her at the end of the walk sitting and watching me play with Cocoa. I called her repeatedly and talked to her, but she would not come back. Then I reached up and cracked the door to the house while still calling her. Seeing the door open, she came running, dashed around us and disappeared into the house.

Yep, Kitty is definitely not happy about having the kid hanging around.

She will most likely adjust. Cats have a way of training us well to meet their needs and accept their terms of the relationship ^_^

Hi Sheri,

I, too, was thinking she would eventually get used to the new circumstances. We humans are the same way really. We all fear change. A situation such as this, whether for human or animal, causes us to fear that we will be pushed aside and loose what we had to the 'new guy'. Really, Kitty is going through the same thing that Widget experienced when she moved in. Like Widget, as soon as she realizes that their is love, food, warmth, and space here for her and Cocoa, I think she will get over it.

Things like this are worrisome for the 'owner', too, so I thank you for your opinion and for helping to bolster my resolve.

Linda,

Casey is a very pretty cat. I notice that Casey has the clipped ear just like my bunch.