I suspect you may be right, Cheryl, about pregnancy potentially shortening the life expectancy of animals in the wild; they are, after all, less mobile and more vulnerable to predators while pregnant. But the shorter lifespan seems to apply to males in the wild as well, so that can't be the only factor involved.
I'm with you on wanting to see natural conditions like pregnancy de-stigamatized; trying to hide one's condition (which never works, anyway) or calling it something else are equally absurd and unnecessary. And menopause as a taboo subject is also pretty absurd. I'd frankly prefer to know that a friend's sudden mood changes are a menopause byproduct than worry that I'd done something to offend. I am old-fashioned enough, though, I must admit, to find that I prefer to see discussions of certain subjects kept within certain bounds. One good friend comes from a family where discussions of one's physical problems/complaints are a common discussion subject at the dinner table; and frankly, I don't need to hear about your digestive symptoms in detail while I'm trying to eat. And since I tend to turn on the TV for background sound if I'm eating alone, I don't welcome ads discussing erectile dysfunction or personal vibrators over dinner; but at least there's a mute button to handle this situation, lol. Not sure if this is prudery or just personal taste/preference, but I do seem to feel that certain subjects are appropriate discussion material in some circumstances but not so in others. I don't try to enforce my preferences on others, just try to avoid situations I find uncomfortable.
Heidi Chronicles: Heidi's BACK!
Wouldn't it be great if there were a mute button on annoying relatives at the holiday dinner table? LOL
Wow, Heidi looks like she's ready to explode. We have a couple like that here, too. 'Tis the season!
That it is, KyWoods
That it is for sure (the season).
As for annoying relatives at the holiday table, I hear about this all of the time. Comedians joke about it, and every holiday season it is mentioned on the media from late night talk shows to the evening news, so I gather it is the norm. Even some of my friends mention that they are not looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner because they know that Aunt Sally will say something sarcastic about cousin Tom and an argument will ensue.
I must be the odd one out because I've never experienced this. Our family dinners were always pleasant. There were never any arguments or people behaving badly, no airing of grievances or interpersonal disagreements, no annoying relatives or improper conversations, just laughter and celebration. I'm not sure what to make of this.
LOL, I guess we've been lucky, too. Of course all but my immediate family lives in New Orleans, so it's always been just us.
My goodness, I never see anyone try to hide a pregnancy or refuse to talk about it, not even teenagers in recent decades! And most people I know will talk about most anything with friends...within reason, of course! However, I once lived in a third world country for a while back in the 70's...now, that was very different. You do have to respect their culture while in another country and watch what you say and do.
If Heidi was human, I wonder if she would dress in the new maternity clothes that are so tight you can see the mom's belly button, or the traditional roomy clothes...
This message was edited Apr 2, 2010 10:08 PM
LOL... I think MS Heidi is a practical gal. she' be comfortable.
in a nice recliner barking orders to her 'kids' to get her eggs and other healthy snacks.
I should add (to my prior post): I'm not in any way implying we weren't a dysfunctional family, just that we didn't argue during family dinners.
Linda: I hadn't stopped to consider it, but there may well be regional differences in these kinds of behaviors (as well as differences among countries as you point out). You could definitely discuss pregnancy by the time I was a teenager. I don't know about before that except, as mentioned, I do recall my mom wearing giant 'mumu' tents, tops and dresses with gathered panels in front to 'conceal' the little bundle. Pregnancy attire seemed to change dramatically after a pregnant Demi Moore posed nude but with hands over strategic areas for the cover of Vanity Fair. After the country recovered from the shock, there was never much left to hide. Now pregnant women can be seen with their bellies peaking out between low rise jeans and cropped tops.
Ruth: I guess none of those topics really bother me one way or the other. For a while there some of the ED commercials were getting a little carried away with the romance. The only mildly uncomfortable moment I can recall from such topics came some years ago when I had setup a video teleconference at work and invited a bunch of stuffy guys in black suits. At the beginning of the event, I was to pick up a program on satellite as part of the presentation. With everyone in attendance, I switched in the satellite feed a few minutes early just in time to play an especially heated Ciallis commercial for the group. But, stuff happens.
I agree that certain subjects are inappropriate at certain times - like one should avoid discussing anything unappetizing at the dinner table. I wasn't advocating changing that sort of thing. At various times in recent history it was taboo to discuss each of the subjects mentioned earlier pretty much anywhere except maybe the Dr's office - as demonstrated by your comment about the times when the 'apron' phrase was used to avoid the word 'pregnancy'. It's that sort of total exclusion of or taboo regarding such subjects that I'd like to see changed (and many have been changed already) - not so that we can blurt out private issues at dinner or in professional situations or other places where it might be deemed inappropriate to do so, but so that we can discuss them somewhere, sometime.
Topics which can't be discussed end up shrouded in mystery, and the people dealing with them find themselves ill prepared and often feeling isolated by society's inability to confront such topics. When we lift the ban on such topics, education, esp in the form of personal experience, flows more freely such that people going through the situation are better prepared and feel more comfortable asking for the information they need. It is for this reason that I am happy to see that we as a society are now better able to discuss these subjects openly.
KyWoods: Heidi strikes me as the pragmatic type. I think Heidi would dress in something tasteful and practical - something that would not inhibit her ability to climb and do her 'job'. Neither the loose tents of yesteryear, which would get hung up on branches, nor the tight outfits worn by present day teens would likely work for her. I think she would probably be able to find something suitable in the more understated styles available for today's professional woman, something neither so tight as to restrict her movements nor so loose as to pose a safety hazard for such an active lady.
ROTFLOL, Terese!
We cross-posted. Now that I'm finally finished with my epic, I see that we both saw the same thing in Heidi. Interesting with all the adjectives available that we both went for 'practical'. That's our Heidi!
And I love your view of her hanging out in the barka lounger with the yearling kids fetching her eggs and such - kind of like she has trained the human to do in real life. ;-)
An Update on Kitty & the kittens:
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The kittens are still noticeably smaller than their mom, and recall that she herself is on the small side weighing only 8lbs. Although they are growing they still read as youngsters vs adults. Although, as you know, I'm not keeping them (ROTFLOL), I've decided to name them Cocoa and Tabby.
Cocoa & Tabby still hang out together like an old married couple. It is all but impossible to see one w/o the other. In a most ironic turn of events - considering, as you know, that they are not mine - Cocoa & Tabby now spend the night sleeping on the rugs beside the front door while Kitty sleeps somewhere else, somewhere near enough that she can hear me when I come outside and will usually show up soon after; however, her bed is not in full view of the door as is that of the kittens. Only a week or so ago all 3 of them slept together on those rugs by the door. Her very recent decision to sleep elsewhere seems to signal a possible change in their relationships.
The kittens sometimes come out in daytime now. They will allow me to pet them when they are eating and show some sign of responding to me when I try to comfort them. One morning when I let Widget out the 2 were on the patio. Cocoa ran, and Widget took off after him thrilled to have something to chase. Tabby took off in the opposite direction but stopped immediately when I said, "It's ok, kitty." He stopped, still on the patio, and looked up at me with a face that said he understood. There have been other similar such examples.
While the kittens are reasonably comfortable with me, they still hide from others. One afternoon when they were in the front yard playing in the flower bed near the door, I noticed Tabby sitting upright behind the trunk of a small decorative tree whenever people walked by on the street. It seemed a rather ingenious idea as he was perfectly visible from the house but completely invisible from the street. On another occasion I watched him slip quietly into the shrubs when a human appeared on the sidewalk.
Lately, Cocoa & Tabby actually seem to be following me around and coming to me. They used to ignore me entirely. Perhaps this new behavior is due to them reaching an age at which Kitty is no longer taking care of them, so now they are starting to see me as the food source. One day when I was sitting on the bench in the front yard - not the one at the door - Tabby came and sat beside the bench. I was quite surprised. He stayed well beyond my reach yet showed sufficient interest in me to follow me out there and sit with me.
The other day when I was giving the 3 of them some really yummy canned food, they were all gathered around the dish. I don't recall now what I was trying to do at the moment. It had something to do with spooning the food fairly evenly between them. Without even thinking, just reacting, I gently held Tabby back - I think to keep him from getting in the way. He was still eating, but I was holding him, my hand around his small back and sides to keep him from moving across the dish to grab the food I was trying to give his brother. It was only after I was through with this operation that I realized I had restrained him (without thinking about it) and he had allowed me to do so. I'm sure the distraction of the food played a part in his willingness to cooperate, but still I was thrilled. After all, this was the one that panicked and ate me up the last time I tried to restrain him. I keep working with them now and again in hopes of getting them tame enough for adoption someday (LOL).
A little while ago when I was out there, I gave them salmon, not canned salmon but wild Alaskan salmon fillet. Yes, I'm still trying to squeeze by on a shoestring. In fact, I've been eating mostly from the food stockpiled in the freezer and pantry, things I needed to eat but usually skipped over in favor of faster and tastier options. It's good to finally be eating that stuff (putting it to use and getting rid of it). While shopping in the freezer one day, I found 2 small single serving size salmon fillets that had been lost in the deep freeze for a few years. Originally, they had been very high quality fillets ordered from a service in Alaska that flash freezes fresh, wild salmon, then vacuum packs individual servings, and ships them on dry ice. Because they are vacuum packed they are guaranteed good for 1yr, but they had been in the freezer for some 3 or 4 yrs, long enough that I didn't feel I wanted to even try to eat them, so I put them aside for the cats.
Tonight I unthawed on of the salmon fillets, cut it into small pieces with kitchen sheers, and took it out to the cats - still raw. All of the cats were sufficiently motivated by the scent to come right up to me. Kitty got up beside me on the bench to eat from the plate of salmon pieces. Cocoa walked back and forth in front of me a mere 8in or so from my legs rubbing himself against the daffodils (near my legs) the way pet cats usually rub on your legs when they are hungry. This was the 1st time I had seen this behavior from either kitten.
While Kitty was chewing and chewing and chewing on a single piece of salmon and apparently getting no where, I held a small 1in chunk out to Cocoa who came up to lick it repeatedly but failed to ever take it from my hand. When I dropped it in front of him he ignored it. Tabby would not come quite close enough to take a piece from my hand but, like his mother, sat chewing and chewing and chewing on the piece I had dropped for Cocoa. Neither cat ever seemed to consume any of the salmon. They seemed to be treating it more like chewing gum.
I took the whole plate of salmon back inside, put 1/2 of it in a baggy in the fridge for later, and microwaved the remainder a minute or two to cook. When it changed color and flaked easily, I took it back out to the cats only to find that while Kitty gobbled it up and even snarled angrily at any kitten that tried to come near while she was eating it, neither of the kittens would eat any. They both wanted some of what she seemed to be enjoying so, but when I gave them a piece, each repeatedly decided it was not food.
Just an aside here but we've now reached the point where Cocoa will come up to me to sniff and/or lick food items while Tabby will come up and sit arms length (his arms) away and bat at the food item (and my hand) with his paws (claws retracted). But, again, neither of them would have anything to do with the cooked salmon even when I dropped it in front of them. I was more than a little surprised, confused, and disappointed by their reaction to the salmon fillet and would eagerly accept any ideas anyone might have as to how to better prepare and present the fillets. All 3 cats eat canned salmon, BTW, but only Kitty was willing to eat (or even taste) the microwaved fillet.
More Kitty updates:
Kitty hasn't been all that friendly lately. She behaves as though suspicious of my motives. I can't imagine why. Is it possible that just as she effects the kittens, so do they effect her? Or could it be that I had overestimated the current extent of our relationship? I guess I went almost instantly from "she's feral" to "she's a pet". Maybe that wasn't so realistic. Maybe she actually needs more time to be sure of my intentions.
She follows me around, sits beside me on the bench, goes on walks around the neighborhood with Widget and me, and tries her best to dart into the house almost every time I open a door. Once inside the house, she vacillates between exploring, food seeking, and following me around. But she hates to be held even briefly. She will allow me to carry her around but is intolerant of just being held and petted. I thought perhaps she just didn't recognize this form of affection, but recently I saw that she is actually afraid when held. When on the ground she will readily take food from my hand - something, BTW, she wouldn't do early on in our relationship (like when she was in the upstairs bath after surgery). She will even take those tiny cat treats from my hand, but when I hold her against my chest while seated (so she is only about a foot off the ground, no height issues), she will not take food. This I recognize as a sign of stress. She still keeps the one front leg between us when held this way as though to push me away. No amount of petting will change her demeanor at such times. Rarely but occasionally if held in this way beyond her tolerance level she will let out that low guttural sound cats make to say, "Ok, I'm really not kidding. I'm getting very angry with you."
I've also noticed that she responds poorly to a commanding voice. Here I'm not talking about holding her. When holding her I always speak very sweetly in an attempt to calm her. Thinking we were farther along with our relationship than is apparently true, a time or two when she came in and refused to come to me (to go out), I spoke not so much harshly as assertively, the way one speaks to a dog to say, "Now I really mean it" when the dog is not obeying a command. I did this maybe twice and stopped doing it when I noticed that it scares her. It does work to get her to go outside, however, as she reacts to that tone by immediately hurrying to the nearest door to demand to be let out. Still, once I realized her response as a sure sign of fear, I stopped using that tone with her. Apparently, I've over-assumed the level of our relationship thinking us old pals now when I still have work to do.
Your description of Kitty's "limits" in her interactions with you really don't concern me. It's possible she just doesn't like being held; many perfectly tame pet cats feel the same way. As for the firm tone of voice, as an abandoned kitty she's bound to come with baggage. It's quite possible that in her one-time home yelling or firm, angry voices were followed by smacks - or by being transported in the car to her dump site. And while most cats recognize the "mean it now" tone of voice and desist the behavior that caused it (at least while you're watching), remember that cats do not innately believe we have the right to tell them what to do. Solitary, not pack animals; they make their own rules, usually based pretty simply on what works versus what doesn't.
Hi Ruth,
Thanks for the feedback/info. I do realize the behavior differences between pack animals vs non pack animals, in particular the fact that the latter don't accept the authority of a leader to tell them what to do. Having lived with cats before, although some time ago, I do also realize (all to painfully well, I might add) that cats don't tend to do as they are told. I recall day after day after day sitting at my easel painting while watching FiFi jump onto the counter and fridge across the room. No matter how many times I yelled at her, I was never able to stop her from this behavior. I was too far away to reach her with a water bottle, and she was always quick to get down the instant I stood up. What caused me concern in Kitty's case was not that she didn't obey my command but rather that she reacted to my tone of voice by becoming very stressed and running to the door to escape.
It just made me aware that although she and I have come a long way, there are still some trust issues, baggage, as you say, left from her bad past experiences with humans. During the time she was on her own in the neighborhood, I suspect that while a few people provided some food many probably yelled at her, threw things at her, and who knows what else in an attempt to drive her away from their home. (You know how people can be.)
With respect to her not wanting to be held, that to wouldn't bother me so much except that even when hungry she will not take food while being held. This makes me think that she is actually fearful when held.
I guess I just have to be patient and hope that in time she will learn that unlike people she may have dealt with in the past, no matter how annoyed I may get I will never hurt her. Sadly, I realize that she may never have the level of trust in humans of a cat that has never been mistreated and dumped on the side of the road to fend for herself and her kittens. (I do enjoy it when she goes on walks with Widget and me though - even though Widget, of course, hates it.)
While trolling through the pantry in search of [nonexistent] junk food, I found a can of whole berry cranberry sauce that had expired 2 yrs ago. Bad, bad, me. The can still looked fine, but I didn't feel safe eating it, so I dumped the contents into a dish and took it out for the raccoons.
OMG! That almost caused a riot out there. When I 1st started serving the stuff, only Heidi and the Lt were there, but 4 more raccoons quickly materialized from the forest and everyone wanted cranberries.
The top 1/2 of the can was whole berries in syrup. I'm sure there is a ton of sugar in there with the berries, BTW. I gave the stuff to the raccoons because I figured the berries would be good for them and even if they weren't motivated to eat the berries they would surely go for the sugar. The bottom half was more like the usual, jelled stuff. I sliced the jelled parts and tossed them around to the yearlings. I also tossed whole berries to them. I left about 1/2 of the berries in the bowl and put them down by Heidi who was eating near my feet; however, the Lt who ate the majority of the stuff quickly ran over, snatched the bowl, and took it back over to her spot to eat the contents.
After I served the cranberries, there was total chaos for quite a while as several of the yearlings kept begging for more and refusing to eat their cat food. There was still a piece of the jelled stuff by Heidi, a piece I had tossed there for her. This caused the others to aggravate her endlessly in their near endless efforts to get the cranberry sauce. Even though she didn't eat it, she insisted that they respect her space and wait until she left to claim anything left behind.
Bottom line, cranberry sauce and cranberries in heavy syrup were a big hit.
Too funny re the cranberry sauce; and yes, the syrup has lots of sugar, or high fructose yadda yadda... Gotta love Heidi for drawing the line about her space, to the point of protecting food she had no interest in. And I get it, it's very important for her to do so.
If Kitty is afraid of being held, it could be the result of many things, including something as "well-meant" as an undisciplined child in her past who held her too tightly and carried her around like a stuffed animal. This is all too common, and is often accompanied by stern/angry adult voices if the cat protests; heaven forfend the cat should defend her right to avoid being squished. Young kids and animals can be an adorable combination and have a mutually pleasant and loving relationship. But if the child isn't taught how to behave gently and appropriately around the animal, the result is a disaster; perhaps the child gets scratched, but the animal always pays a much higher price. It's clear that Kitty does come with baggage and, as you said, it could come both from her former family and from less kind neighbors in your own community. She does clearly trust you, and hopefully her trust will increase over time; but she is still outdoors and subject to the reactions of other neighbors, so the baggage may never be fully unpacked. Your relationship with Heidi is a genuine miracle; unfortunately, miracles are by definition very rare, and Kitty may take longer or never be able to trust quite so much. Ironic, yes, given that Kitty is a domestic animal rather than wild; but they're all individuals who react differently to past experience, and have different abilities to distinguish between individuals of another species. Kitty has come a long way with you, and taught her kittens to accept/trust you, which was a huge leap of faith; just relax and go with the flow, as you do so very well.
PS Cats always know where the water gun is in relationship to the person, don't they? No matter how we try to disguise where the spray of water is coming from, they are not at all fooled. And FiFi was clearly a smart lady.
>>that low guttural sound cats make to say, "Ok, I'm really not kidding.
Charlie does this with me too. I call it his growling. It's usually when "outside time" is over, and i'm bringing him inside.
>>her interactions with you really don't concern me. It's possible she just doesn't like being held; many perfectly tame pet cats feel the same way.
and he's about 18 months now, and he will only 'snuggle' on his terms. He's not a 'lap cat' at all. does not like it one iota. As with Kitty, he will tolerate being carried, but not held for any 'socializing'. he just wiggles away.
Thank heavens he has quit biting. But he will still do the 'snap of the head' like he's gonna bite, guess it's his warning.
My cats that have not liked being pocked up and held have usually come to the point whwere , on their terms and at their time choice, they will decide to come curl up on my lap purring away. this is often when I have just decided that I need a bathroom break or some other such inopportune time, so I just wait as long as I can so as to cherish the rare cuddle moment.
Oh, BTW, my very 1st kitty (I was still sleeping in a crib) was named Cocoa. She was a Tortoushell and would tolerate my "deathgrip" until I fell asleep, then jump out of the crib.
A few days ago I noticed that Tabby is looking a bit gaunt in the area just behind the rib cage. They are consuming quite a bit of food, so I figure he has been sharing with wildlife such as the opossum I found at the front door a few nights ago. This is a very small one, possibly young and not fully grown. I heard Kitty issue that low guttural warning and grabbed my camera on the way to the door as I know some of you like to see these fellas.
I'm trying to keep a better watch over the food dish now. I've been putting the food out late in the afternoon before dark and bringing the dish in once the cats eat. When I give them late night snacks as I did last night I try to stay out there with them. I don't want to encourage wildlife to come to the front door for meals.
Last night while waiting for the cats to finish eating, I noticed for the 1st time that one of Cocoa's ears appears shorter than the other. I looked at Tabby, and sure enough, he too has a shortened left ear. Turns out, the city actually did clip the left ear of each of them to signify their inclusion in the TNR program and that they have already been neutered. Kitty's ears were not clipped in this manner. As you may recall she has a green tattoo on her abdomen to indicate that she has been spayed.
The clipped ears are 'tastefully' done at least from an aesthetic perspective. They amount removed is only about 1/4 in, just enough to round off the point. When I 1st noticed Cocoa's ear, I thought the tip of the ear was just folded down momentarily. It was only upon further scrutiny that I was able to see that the ear was actually clipped. The cut edge is white and shows up as a very thin white line against his dark chocolate coat.
I think the ear clipping makes sense really. If either of the kittens is ever caught in a trap in the future, it would have to be anesthetized before anyone could pick it up and turn it over to look for a tattoo whereas animal control will be able to see the clipped ear with relative ease on the spot (w/o medication) and release the cat. (When the kittens went for neutering I was told they would have to anesthetize them in the cage before they could handle the kitten.) Kitty, on the other hand, should allow them to handle her somewhat and/or they could use a hand scanner to read her chip - although she is supposed to be wearing a collar with ID and rabies tag since she is outside. I still need to get one of those break-away type collars for her.
Hmm. Just a thought. Should I put a bell on Kitty's collar (when I get one, that is) to help protect the birds? I guess one downside is that it would also warn mice. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.
Terese,
I was thinking that Kitty, if left inside long enough, might eventually settle down and sit near me. I rather doubt she will sit on my lap anytime soon though. She comes in often - as in several times a day - but is much too busy exploring still to stay in one spot for very long. One day I put her up on the bed with me (and Widget) while I was reading. Although she immediately jumped down to the floor and headed off to explore, that day she returned to the bed every few minutes to hop back up there with us and walk around a bit before once again jumping down to explore some more. In this manner she does show a distinct interest in spending time with us (as she does when she opts to go with us on walks) but so far shows no indication that she might want to get in my lap even on her terms. Then again perhaps in time.
Kitty never bites or even threatens to bite, thankfully. If I'm holding her and fail to let her go after several stern warnings, when she reaches her limit of tolerance she will start struggling to get free using claws for leverage to climb and/or push against clothing. When my Himalayan (Muffin) got angry he would 'snap' as if to bite me following through all the way to 'clamping down' on my hand with his mouth if sufficiently angry, but would always stop short of actually driving his teeth into my flesh. When doing this he never drew blood or broke the skin nor did these mock bites hurt in any way. I thought of this when you mentioned that Charlie does the 'snap of the head' as if to bite. When executing these Mock bites, Muffin would snap his head around ultra fast. Right up to the point of actually biting down the whole scenario was executed very fast such that it appeared like he was really going to bite.
Ruth,
I definitely know what you mean about small children 'dragging' pets around. You often see them holding the the animal just behind the front legs, the rest of the animal dangling from their grasp. This was on of my mother's pet peeves. She absolutely hated to see this. She taught us that small kittens and puppies carried about this way will often die. We were not allowed to carry our pets in this manner when we were children and too small to carry them properly. If we could not convince the animal to follow us, too bad, as we were not allowed to carry it around.
The one thing that makes me think this particular scenario doesn't figure into Kitty's fears is the [seemingly] odd fact that she will allow me to carry her around even remaining quiet and still in my hands while being carried up and down the tall staircase and to places she doesn't want to go (like the upstairs bath). She is very consistent about this having never shown any resistance to being carried. In fact, whereas she is stiff when I try to hold her, she is amazingly 'soft', limp, relaxed and very 'fluid' in my hands when carried. There may be some other explanation, but it seems as though she understands the point of being transported in my hands but does not understand why she is being restrained when I try to hold her while sitting still. It's like when carried she realizes that she is being held briefly for this relocation effort (and will then be set free again), but when I try to hold her while sitting still she gets anxious wondering why she is being held (if we aren't going anywhere) and what I'm going to do with/to her. Even when put down again she will sometimes get a distinct look and behavior that indicates she thinks I'm up to something, like I'm plotting something.
An interesting thing I've noticed about Kitty's behavior when indoors (garage included) is that although she loves to explore and will climb under things, she doesn't jump up on surfaces (so far at least). She has been in here quite a bit for relatively short periods of time but always seems to stay on the floor. The only exceptions to this are (1) the one time she jumped up onto the sink when in the upstairs bath (this only happened once while I was there that is) and (2) jumping up onto the bed which she now does frequently but only started after I invited her to do so.
The day when I was on the bed reading I put her up there with me. She got down and went off exploring. When she returned she walked up and stood on the floor beside the bed and only hopped up onto the bed after I invited her up. Now, after having been invited up, she gets up on the bed on her own. She never (so far) hops up on any of the counters or furniture. Even when she comes inside in search of food and is allowed to roam about on her own, while she goes to the kitchen, she never gets up on the counters.
Since we pretty much know she was raised indoors, I gather that she was 'taught' to stay on the floor. Of course, I do realize that she will probably get up on every surface she can reach if left in the house alone for any period of time. ;-)
Since she comes inside a lot (but only for brief periods), I put a box of Crystals in the master bath just in case. I guess she must have used it because one day a section of the crystals were stained yellow.
Heidi always insists that everyone stay outside of a roughly 2ft radius around her when she is eating, and this means they must always wait until she leaves to try to eat anything off her 'plate' (actually the ground) even if she doesn't want it. Her yearling kids are the only exception (and young kits, of course). Although she will give them a stern 'talking to' just to be sure they know what they are doing is wrong, she will usually let her yearling kids sneak up and swipe unwanted food. Anyone else will likely suffer an attack well before they reach the food, generally when they are about 1ft inside her zone (and thus still 1ft from the food).
Update on a few names and such from last year. First, Freida is the name of the other mane raccoon mom from last year. Freida was one of Heidi's 08 kits - I think, or maybe a neice - and thus a yearling in 09. Most years one yearling appears to be favored for the 2nd in Command spot. Last year it was Freida. Fredia looks a lot like Julie, one of the adults from 07 I think it was. It was Freida who left her kits for me to babysit last year when they were too young to leave the buffet on their own to look for her. The main kit that Freida used to leave with me was named Buster. Buster lay on the instep of my boot one night for a little while after exhausting himself looking for his missing mom. (In an unrelated note, I recall that one of Heidi's kits last year was named Joey.)
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A few times recently including last night, we have had 2 new (for this year) visitors at the buffet, 2 yearlings obviously siblings, not Heidi's. These 2 yearlings are extremely comfortable with me. One is almost 'Dennis' comfortable. They don't have the excellent manners that virtually always characterize Heidi's kids, so I find that I am a little uncomfortable with them especially with the one who wants to get so close to me - and by close I mean that he would probably touch me if permitted to do so. I'm not so much afraid that he would hurt me as that he might accidentally scratch me, thus I have to make him keep a little distance - which is not always easy. Because of their extreme comfort with me, esp the one, I'm pretty sure these 2 yearlings are Freida's 09 kits. The one that is so very comfortable with me is obviously Buster.
Below is a pic of Buster. While this pic may look like those you've seen many times before of Echo standing upright in hopes of getting a treat, if you look closer you will see that this picture is different in that you can look down and see Buster's feet through or between his 2 hands. That's because he is only inches away from me - and begging for another cookie. If you look closely you will also see that Buster is, in fact, a male.
Buster is slated to be the new Dennis. Although sweet, he can also be a bit annoying because he is too comfortable around me and thus is 'in my face' a lot.
Awww, he's adorable!
Sounds like your kitty is enjoying her new surroundings. I'm sure she'll be exploring for quite a while. What does Widget think of his new sister?
Hi, I've been away from Dave's and most of my gardening for over a year...just checking back in and reading about your new friends and Heidi's reappearance this year...It took me several days to catch up!
Anyway, I haven't rescued cats, but hang out on a cat forum a lot and when the question pops up about how to socialize a skittish cat for handling, we always advise starting very gradually by holding the kitten or cat just a few seconds...preferably just before they begin to struggle, you set them down. It's hard to judge, but if you can catch it just before...so that you are releasing the kitty under your terms, not its, and very gradually (very very gradually if needed), you can try adding a couple of seconds at a time until you are able to hold the kitty for a short petting session. It takes a ton of patience (which I know you have in spades...), but it gradually builds confidence in the cat that you are not going to hurt it and reduces the need for struggling.
I would also advise not to look to collar Ms Kitty right away. I know it's tempting, but as she is an outdoor cat, she can catch her collar in things and get stuck. I've tried most every type of collar. The ones I am using right now on my cats have a breakaway latch...it's has a bump that fits into the other side of the collar. I specifically tried all the collars and picked the ones that had the easiest breakaway on it in case my cat gets their collar stuck on something. I've had cats get a paw or a jaw caught in a stretch collar before and won't use them now. If you do collar her, you may wish to try so under supervision in the house at first until she gets used to it.
For fleas and such, we use Revolution...it treats for heartworm as well as fleas and I think ticks and other parasites. Not cheap, but does more than the other products too.
Laura
I fell asleep tonight and slept right through feeding time altogether. When Widget finally woke me up it was 1:30AM. Feeding time is 10-10:30PM. I was tempted to just forget all about the buffet for the night. Surely by this time Heidi would be gone already. As I headed out to walk Widget and feed the cats, I thought of Heidi so big and so pregnant. I thought of how she needs to eat a lot of food on the last day or so before she leaves to give birth because she won't be back for days, maybe even a week. What if this was the day? What if at her advanced age and size she couldn't find enough food now to prepare adequately for birthing?
Before leaving the house to walk Widget, I flipped on the back lights. If Heidi was still anywhere near the house, she would see the lights and, hopefully, come back to eat. I would check for her on my return. Sure enough, when I got back there was the Lt standing at the back door with Heidi peering in cautiously from one corner.
I'm very surprised that Heidi hung around so long waiting for me. She doesn't normally do that. Maybe because she is so huge now, she felt she wouldn't be able to travel the distance necessary to find enough food. Maybe under the circumstances waiting for me seemed her best hope. I guess she could probably smell me inside the house, probably knew I was sleeping. Except when sick, I'm usually pretty dependable.
So I was able to feed Heidi. Perhaps because of the lateness of the hour, the buffet was overrun with raccoons so much so that they ate ever speck of food that I had with me along with the remaining peanuts and cookies. The only adults were Heidi and the other adult which I suspect may be Freida. All of the others were yearlings.
That's an adorable possum, and does look young; the ears still look a bit outsize, and there are none of the scars most adult possums carry from dogs, raccoons, etc. Possums are a favorite target for so many species, including ours, because while they look vicious when hissing and exposing all those teeth, they are actually pretty wimpy; their default is playing dead rather than fighting. Makes sense to limit access to the cats' food; you surely don't want wildlife congregating at the front door.
Buster is a very handsome young guy, but I can understand being uncomfortable with having him too close; given Freida's "let Cheryl do it" style of mothering, he certainly wasn't taught much in the way of manners or self-restraint.
Kitty may well have been taught to stay off counters in her once-upon-a-time home, but I really doubt the lesson has carried over; heck, most of us are lucky if our cats remember their limits for five minutes, and then only when we're watching. But if you think about how most outdoor or feral cats live, they tend to stay firmly planted on terra firma, usually with hiding places like shrubbery, underside of cars, etc. within easy access. Staying out of sight of predators is vital to their survival; jumping up on things makes them all too visible. Yes, they can and will climb trees to escape; but some rivals like raccoons also do so superbly, as we well know. I'm always amused, and not in the intended way, by cartoons depicting male cats serenading from a perch atop the back fence. While I've seen and heard many tomcats' performances, it's never been from a highly visible height; they're much more likely to perform in a secure and private niche well-scented with their spray. One's porch, for example, or under or in one's car, if you've been foolish enough to provide an open window for access; they rely more on their virile aroma and singing skills than strutting their studly selves to attract the ladies. Even if Kitty were to become an indoor-only cat, I think it would take quite a while for her to become comfortable on highly visible spots like countertops; since she's still spending most time outdoors, the stealth/easy retreat habit is still essential to her.
Oh dear, the late shift sounds like another zoo in the making; hope you won't have to draw that crowd very often! Glad you were able to feed Heidi; at her age and huge size, I'm sure it's a real challenge to find adequate food on her own these days.
I'm glad you decided to open the buffet, even that late. You probably would have had a hard time falling asleep from the guilt if you hadn't, lol.
Cute li'l possum! I haven't seen ours in a long time. Probably afraid of the cats.
To all those who observe the Easter Holiday, Heidi and friends wish you a very blessed day.
Uggggg .. I ate too much. but yummy it was.
Thanks, and yes, Happy Easter!
Tonight I ran out to Bilo to sock up on cat and dog food. They had Purina Dog Chow (Heidi likes this) and Friskee's cat food, 20lb/18lb respectively for $10ea. That's the 07/08 price, so I figured I would stock up. Somewhere around late 08 to early 09 Purina jumped up to like $13/$14 a bag. Other brands had similar spikes. It was a big, sudden and painful price change, jumping up 30% to 40% a bag all at once. We talked about it at the time. Anyhow, I was thrilled to see Purina on sale for the old price, so I stocked up. Between raccoons and cats - including the ones that aren't mine (lol) - and the opossums I end up feeding by accident, the critters around here go through some cat/dog food.
Tonight when I got home from the grocery store, I found that the outside flood light, the main one over the patio area had burned out. The patio light has been out for a year or so. I never could remember to replace the bulb. With the flood light out, too, I had a problem, two problems really. (1) I couldn't turn the outside lights on to let the raccoons know it was dinner time or to see if they were out there on the patio already, and (2) It would be too dark out there at the buffet. Even if I used the flashlight to walk out there, I wouldn't be able to see my hand in front of my face when I got there. While I would feel safe in total darkness with Heidi and the Lt, I wouldn't feel comfortable dealing with all those other yearlings if they showed up. They would be sneaking up close to me on all sides and in total darkness I wouldn't be able to see them. Not good. What to do. I certainly didn't want to let Heidi go hungry, so...
By the time I got the groceries put away, I could see the Lt's face up against the patio door. That meant she and Heidi at a minimum were out there already. Well, there was only one thing to do. I grabbed my 8ft, aluminum, step ladder from the garage along with my flashlight, put a light bulb in my pocket, and went out onto the patio. Naturally, Heidi and the Lt were there and they expected me to come out with my bag of food and head out to the buffet. It was dinner time after all, and that's what I do every night. That's the routine. Raccoons, all animals really, are most comfortable with routines because they know what to expect. With wild animals like the raccoons, any change in the routine signals a reason to be on alert and extra cautious. Remember years ago how the raccoons were reluctant to come in the yard with that big purple thing (the pool) for the 1st time?
So here I was coming out of the door wrestling with a heavy-duty, 8ft step ladder (I'm 5'2" and the door is probably about 7ft). I really expected Heidi and the Lt to take off. I was just hoping they would wait for me at the forest instead of running off completely. Believe it or not, the two of them stood at the edge of the patio while I dragged the big, heavy, bulky ladder out the door, set it up, said "It's ok, Heidi" while climbing up, unscrewed the cover and bulb (which made a high pitch squeaking sound), changed the bulb, replaced everything, and climbed back down.
Can you believe that? Two wild raccoons stood there a few feet away in the open and watched while I wrestled with and then climbed a ladder going up in the air over them. All of these were things they had never seen me do before. And that's not to mention me wrestling with the ladder. I bought the heavier type ladder that meets the higher standard. As a result, while I have great confidence in the integrity of my ladder, I have tremendous difficulty carrying it and even more difficulty getting it through doorways, around corners, and such. I usually end up banging up my fingers and toes when I carry that thing. There is almost always pain involved, so I know my routine for wrestling it around must have looked scary to the raccoons. That's why I am so amazed that they didn't run away. I mean as I was going up the steps I could see Heidi's face, ears erect, at the corner of the patio watching me curiously, like, "What is she doing? That's not part of the dinner routine?"
Oh, and I left the cover off of the light. I figured after I fed the raccoons, I would wash it and then put it back on - to get more light. It's an opaque cover. Without it, the 75watt bulb was super bright out there, and yet when I headed back inside for the food, Heidi and the Lt were standing right there at the door, right under the bulb, waiting for me.
I know. I know. Most of you probably aren't surprised at all. You probably know already that Heidi has become almost like a pet. But I was very, very pleasantly surprised.
I grabbed the bag of food and headed out again & there on the patio were Heidi and the Lt still waiting for me.
On a related note, as you probably know Heidi eats just in front of my feet. She eats at arms length from me. I can reach forward and hand her something or reach down and put her egg beside her food - and I do. While she is eating, I reach down and put the egg maybe 8in from her face. She doesn't even stop eating.
Even though I know she isn't eating junk food right now, I like to make the offer just the same. So the other night when I gave cookies to the others, I reached forward and held a cookie out to Heidi. Her head was down at the time, and she was eating her cat food. She didn't want the cookie, so she ignored my offer as she usually does under such circumstances.
I knew she could smell the cookie, and I knew if she really wanted it she would have taken it. In fact, if I hadn't offered it to her, she would have stepped forward to ask for one if she really wanted it. Normally, I drop the subject at this point, but that night I continued holding the cookie out. "Heidi" I said. And just like that, she lifted her head from her food, put her nose right up to the cookie, sniffed it, gave me the "no thanks" look, and put her head back down to the ground to resume eating.
All of this is pretty incredible if you really stop to think about it. Incredible that she eats so close in front of me each night. Incredible that she knows her name and responds to it so readily. Incredible that she puts her nose to my hand with such ease [or to something I am holding] . She's a wild raccoon, after all. Sometimes I think it's easy to forget that.
Last night there were 6 or more yearlings out there plus the other adult and Heidi. After everyone had taken a spot and settled in to eat, I became aware of something behind me (coming from the direction of the house not the forest). I turned around to see Precious. She had walked up behind me to withing a foot or less. She was so tiny. She didn't even look like a raccoon. I literally turned around to get a better look. She looked more like a little dog or maybe a fox but with a raccoon's face. (And as a dog, she would definitely fit in the toy category. She is smaller than Widget.)
As the others had arrived and the area had filled up, they had taken up all of the available spaces around me including even the spot where Precious usually eats over by the pine straw, so she had sneaked around behind us somehow and was now standing at my back. I put some food there on the grass behind me for her, and that's where she ate last night.
Tonight Precious was there again, and she came right back to her spot behind me and a little more than arms length away. I guess that's her new spot. It's just as well. Behind me she will be separated from the others and will hopefully have less to worry about. The Lt hasn't been bothering her back there.
Ruth,
So far Buster hasn't been behaving quite as badly as Dennis. He hasn't been trying to grab my bag when I'm not looking - yet - but I am uncomfortable with him so close, just because he is so comfortable with me.
There really is a major and very observable difference in the behavior of Heidi's kits vs those of others. And that difference carries over into them as yearlings and adults. It's quite amazing really. It is exactly like the difference between the well behaved and wonderful to be around children whose parents trained them right vs other children. Heidi's kits are like the children who say "yes, Mam", are quiet, and show wonderful manners. The others are often like the wild hooligans you see running around WalMart wreaking havoc.
Heidi can be there with all 4 of her yearlings, and everyone will be eating quietly, staying in their spot, bothering no one. No fighting. No arguing. No begging for treats. A total of 5 raccoons and complete quiet and order. On the other hand, if Heidi and one of her yearlings are there along with just one who is not hers, a total of only 3 raccoons, there will be a degree of chaos. The one who isn't hers will be coming up beside me begging for treats. That one probably won't stand still and eat its cat food. It will run around the area creating havoc while trying to get a treat even though I don't have any out and am not offering any and even though the Heidi's yearlings are eating their food and behaving themselves.
It's really quite amazing to note the difference. I don't think I can even do justice to them in trying to describe the phenomenon. The Lt, for instance, also like cookies, but she will stay at her spot eating until/unless I hold a cookie out to her. Then she will walk over quietly and take it. Occasionally, she might come over to ask for something but even then her manner is different. She will walk quietly up in front of me and stand there. She will stand close but at a distance such that I don't feel uncomfortable or threatened. She doesn't look like she might be about to try to run off with my bag or anything nefarious like that.
Buster, on the other hand, while sweet and adorable, get right in my face. He gets too close so that I feel threatened. He peeks in my bag and looks at times like he might be sizing things up to see if he can grab the bag and run. Unlike the Lt, Buster is pushy. I end up having to 'push' him back repeatedly just to maintain my personal space.
One of the biggest differences I notice between Heidi's kits and others is the way they take treats. That this is always true of hers and frequently not true of others seems to indicate that Heidi must be teaching her kits this somehow although I don't know how. Heidi's kits always take treats very gently as does she. Whether they take the treat with their hands or their mouth, they always do so gently and slowly. They never, ever chomp or snatch or grab. I have learned, however, that whereas I can always depend on Heidi's kits to take treats this way, I cannot expect others to do so.
Others will often chomp at the thing such that I feel lucky if they don't take my hand with it or they will snatch it from my hand raking me with claws in the process. It's not like they are trying to bite me or scratch me, but unlike Heidi's kits, the others don't always take care to avoid biting or scratching. They just grab the thing and if your body parts are in the way, too bad. Of course, I don't continue to offer treats in this manner to those who behave this way.
It's just amazing to note the difference because Heidi's kits always, always take their treats ever so gently. Unlike the others, they are a pleasure to deal with. They don't chomp down on the thing, they gently close their mouth on it. If they reach up with their hands, I don't worry even if their hands touch me because all I will feel is the velvet skin of their hands as they gently close their hands around the item.
Ruth,
Your explanation of why Kitty tends to explore the house by going under things rather than jumping up on them is quite fascinating. Viewed this way her behavior makes a lot of sense.
I'm not certain yet, but I think Kitty is trying to move indoors. She comes in almost every time the door opens. If I'm outside she knows I will be going back in, so she will often camp out at the door waiting for me to open it. Even if I push her away refusing to let her in, she will just wait right there for it to open again.
At 1st I thought she wanted food especially the 'good' food. I often bring her inside for the hi-test stuff. I might give her 1/2 to 2/3 of the can inside and then mix the remaining portion with some dry food for the others just so they get a taste - even though (lol at me trying to believe this) they aren't mine.
But lately I'm thinking it is more than that. She will persist in trying to come inside even after she has eaten 4oz of salmon and 1/2 can of cat food. She used to come in and eat and then go to the door to go back out. If she didn't go directly to the door to demand to be let out, I could go to the door and call her and she would go out. Lately, she comes in, eats, and then starts plundering about the house. If I go to the door and call her she will ignore me. I have to go and get her, take her to the door, and put her out. Once outside she looks a bit miffed.
The past few days she has begun coming in and going upstairs. That seems especially symbolic since 'her room' was upstairs. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. Maybe she's now interested in exploring the upstairs having looked around sufficiently downstairs. Not sure though. The last few days when she gets through looking around she sits on the stairs maybe 1/2 way up or sometimes at the top.