>> Being a Grandparent...
>>
>> 1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the
>> watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times
>> before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the
>> little one said, 'But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper
>> good-bye!' I will probably never put lipstick on again without
>> thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye...
>>
>> 2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy
>> Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, '62.' He was
>> quiet for a moment, and then he asked, 'Did you start at 1?'
>>
>> 3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed
>> into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her
>> hair. As she heard the children getting more and more
>> rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel
>> around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to
>> bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-
>> year-old say with a trembling voice, 'Who was THAT?'
>>
>>
>> 4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
>> childhood was like: 'We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a
>> swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We
>> rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.' The
>> little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said,
>> 'I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!'
>>
>>
>> 5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, 'Grandma, do you
>> know how you and God are alike?' I mentally polished my halo and I
>> said, 'No, how are we alike?'' You're both old,' he replied.
>>
>> 6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's
>> word processor. She told him she was writing a story. 'What's it
>> about?' he asked. 'I don't know,' she replied. 'I can't read.
>>
>> 7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so
>> I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what
>> color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was
>> fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door,
>> saying, 'Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of
>> these yourself!'
>>
>> 8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept
>> the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky
>> insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them
>> before I did, Billy whispered, 'It's no use Grandpa. Now the
>> mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.'
>>
>> 9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied,
>> 'I'm not sure.' 'Look in your underwear, Grandpa,' he advised.
>> 'Mine says I'm four to six.'
>>
>> 10. A second grader came home from school and said to her
>> grandmother, 'Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies
>> today.' The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to
>> keep her cool. 'That's interesting,' she said, 'how do you make
>> babies? ''It's simple,' replied the girl. 'You just change 'y' to
>> 'i' and add 'es'.'
>>
>> 11. Children's Logic: 'Give me a sentence about a public servant,'
>> said a teacher. The small boy wrote: 'The fireman came down the
>> ladder pregnant.' The teacher took the lad aside to correct him.
>> 'Don't you know what pregnant means?' she asked. 'Sure,' said the
>> young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child.'
>>
>> 12. A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of
>> kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the
>> front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started
>> discussing the dog's duties. 'They use him to keep crowds back,'
>> said one child. 'No,' said another, 'He's just for good luck.' A
>> third child brought the argument to a close. 'They use the dogs,'
>> she said firmly, 'to find the fire hydrants.'
>>
>>
>> WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?
>> (Taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)
>>
>> Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of
>> their own. They like other people's.
>>
>> A grandfather is a man and a grandmother is a lady!
>>
>> Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come
>> to see them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It
>> is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.
>>
>> When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty
>> leaves and caterpillars.
>>
>> They show us and talk to us about the colors of the flowers and
>> also why we shouldn't step on 'cracks.'
>>
>> They don't say, 'Hurry up.'
>>
>> Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.
>>
>> They wear glasses and funny underwear.
>>
>> They can take their teeth and gums out.
>>
>> Grandparents don't have to be smart.
>>
>> They have to answer questions like 'Why isn't God married?' and
>> 'How come dogs chase cats?'
>>
>> When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask
>> for the same story over again.
>>
>> Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't
>> have television because they are the only grownups who like to
>> spend time with us.
>>
>> They know we should have snack time before bed time, and they say
>> prayers with us and kiss us even when we've acted bad.
>>
>> A 6-YEAR-OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA LIVED. ''OH,'' HE SAID,
>> ''SHE LIVES AT THE AIRPORT, AND WHEN WE WANT HER, WE JUST GO GET
>> HER. THEN WHEN WE'RE DONE HAVING HER VISIT, WE TAKE HER BACK TO THE
>> AIRPORT.''
>>
>> GRANDPA IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH! HE TEACHES ME GOOD THINGS,
>> BUT I DON'T GET TO SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS SMART AS HIM!
>>
>> It's funny when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame
>> their dog.
Being a Grandparent
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