Why Parents Drink
A Mother passing by her son's bedroom
was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was
picked up.
Then she saw an envelope, propped up
prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Mom' With the worst
premonition she opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the
letter.
Dear Mom:
It is with great regret and sorrow
that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I
wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real
passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not
approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight
motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But
it's not only the passion... Mom she's pregnant. Stacy said that we
will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack
of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many
more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact
that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for
ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for
cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will
find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't
worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm
sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your
grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son Paul
P.S. Mom, none of the above is true.
I'm over at Dustin's house. I just wanted to remind you that there
are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center
desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.
