“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” — Henny Youngman
“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!” —Brian O’Rourke
“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.” —Stephen Wright
“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” —Dave Barry
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” —Benjamin Franklin
The value of a drink
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