White Hair and DUIs

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of
your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
............................................

“What am I supposed to do with this?” grumbled the motorist as the police handed him a ticket for drunk driving.
“Keep it,” the cop advises. “When you get four of them, you get a bicycle.”