Inner Peace

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works,
and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives.
By following simple advice heard on the Oprah show, you
too can find inner peace. Dr. Oz proclaimed, 'The way to
achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have
started and have never finished.'

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I
started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house
this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel,
a bottle of Tequila, a package of Oreos, the remainder of
my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake,
some Doritos, and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now. Pass
this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner
peace.