Lea,
Sorry to hear what's going on with your Dad. Reading your post I had flashbacks of my own Dad and going through the very same thing you are. He may not like being hospitalized, but you're doing the right thing for your own well-being. Do you have any other siblings or family that can visit and stay with him while he's there? That would give you a break once in a while. The tests may show something simple that needs to be done to make him feel better. But, be sure to talk to the doctor and ask him what all the tests are for and what the results show. Ask him not to give your Dad any "needless" tests.
In my Dad's case, even after his veins collapsed the lab technicians (just following orders) insisted on trying to get blood causing him a lot of pain. After watching Dad cry and begging them to stop I finally intervened and stopped them from taking any more blood. It was pointless because I knew what was happening to him. Sixteen hours later he went to Gloryland.
Sorry, didn't want to get morose on you, just issuing a word from experience. I wish you both well and a speedy recovery for your Dad.
This message was edited Dec 27, 2008 10:07 AM
Cottage Garden Seed Swap & Chat #20
hi all
you guys were all in my thoughts these past few days. SW im glad you got better and Lea i am sending well wishes to your dad.
We were not able to get my mom with us for christmas as she two hours north of us and had alot more snow.
I finally mailed out the envelope on dec 24 when we were able to get out and help my MIL with the christmas preparations and we dropped by the post office on the way.
Right now we are having a storm ..rain and wind this time around. the snow is going to disappear not right away but in a couple of days time.
Heres to hoping that the big storm did not affect you guys in the midwest.
pam
>>Heres to hoping that the big storm did not affect you guys in the midwest.
Pam -- which big storm?? LOL.
it's been unbelievable.... lots of snow [though not as much as our friends to the north] but we probably got a lil over a foot in a few days... then we had ice/freezing rain [though not as bad as our friends to the south] and now we have thunderstorms and intermittent poring rain. Most of our snow is now gone - with the warmer temps and rain ... so flooding will occur -- just luckily not where my house sits... i'm sure we will have a bit of flooding in our village, just not as bad as in Sept.
I am sooooo ready for Spring, it's not even funny.
Wishing for a bit of sunshine for everyone.... if the weather is crap... just hunker down as ... this too will pass.
Lea -- I'll be sending good vibes in your direction ... Hoping your dad gets his strength back and can come home.
Lea, I'm adding my prayers for you and your dad also... you got some good thoughts from folks above, especially about remembering to do what you need in this situation even if it's not to his liking... it's hard to remember to take care of yourself when you're worried about somebody else.
My mom (who has had a rough time every since back surgery a year ago) was planning to come down with Dad for a visit next weekend, but now we're not sure she'll quite be up to the trip, so I decided to stay a couple extra days. DH is holding down the fort. My box will go out as soon as I get back, possibly Monday afternoon but more likely Tuesday. :-)
That means there's one more chance to let me know if there's anything you're especially looking for...
critter, just before I clicked on this thread you popped in my mind! I was wondering if you'd made it home yet. Glad you got some extra time in with the folks :-)
I was reading the article today about Leopard's Bane and they sound like a great plant. Do any of you have seed for them?
Neal, if nobody has seeds, take a look at Hazzard's (under "D" perennials), http://www.hazzardsgreenhouse.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc? It's quite likely that I'll be placing an order... I'm toying with the idea of doing a co-op for basils and herbs, just trying to decide if I'll be up to another round of packing after doing the pepper seed co-op. They also have a couple of peppers that HPS doesn't have. ;-)
If I do a herb co-op, I think I might simplify it... instead of everybody picking only what they want from a list, I'm thinking it would be easier to see if 20 people want to sign up and then just split all the ordered packets 20 ways. By the figuring I did yesterday, we could get 10 kinds of basil for $5 per person, including the shipping and packing. Or for $10 per person, we could do more like 25 or so varieties. Most of the seeds I was looking at come in bulk packets of 5000 seeds, although some are only 500 or 1000, but even so that should be enough seeds per packet (when divided 20 ways) to allow us to try a lot of different things.
Sending out the same packets to everybody in the co-op would simplify things on my end... if people get packets they don't want or can't use, they can just pass them on, or let me know to keep them and send them along in newbie packets or send them to somebody like Starlight who's filling envelopes for storm survivors.
What do you think? Would a "flat rate" co-op work? It's a lot of seeds for $5 or $10. I think Suzy's group order worked similarly last year.
Jill - I like the idea of that co-op - let me know if you decide to go ahead with it.
Lea, keeping you and your Dad close in our hearts and prayers - hope you're able to take care of yourself through all this :-)
We're watching college football bowl games and waiting for the bad weather to hit us. Had a septic company out yesterday to rod the lines, but the guy they sent is an idiot and he didn't really do anything - sort of shrugged his shoulders as he really didn't want to do the work that was required to get our lines cleared. So, I had him call the office to arrange for them to come out with a little camera they can send down through the lines to find out what's wrong and where - knowing good and well that the person he'd have to talk to is the owner of the company, and his mom! They're coming on Monday so I'll get a chance to let her know what I think of the shoddy work her son does. In the meantime. we're keeping our fingers crossed that if we do get water in the basement that we'll still have power so I can run the shop-vac and try to keep it as dry as possible.
Lea, thanks for the report on your Dad. Please keep us posted. I've been worried about you and yours. Men are the worst patients, except for Dr.s and Nurses. LOL!
I am one of the "sandwich" generation. I have two boys at home still, although they are almost grown up, and I take care of my mother too. She is a retired nurse and stubborn as all get out. I have often debated with her on the subject of her mini-strokes. Finally, I just told her, that if she didn't care enough about her own health or it's impact on her family, she was just going to have to live with the fact that if she fell down, or had another stroke, I was going to call EMS, regardless of what she wants. I have brothers and sisters and my own heart to answer to.
Many good suggestions were offered here. I have spoken to Mom about what her wishes are if she needs to be hospitalized. She too forgets. It drives me crazy, the role reversal. I loose patience with her more than I should. It is not easy to honor our elder's wishes in regards to home vs. convalescent care. Know what your options are, consult your Dad on what he wants if coming home is not an option at this point. Most of all know, that you are not alone. A lot of us are going through the same things on our life journey. We are all here to help you. I hope and pray that your Dad has the opportunity to regain his strength, and adapt to his new schedule.
Not being morbid, but I am so grateful that my own Dad, passed so quickly. I was reading up on the type of Liver Cancer he had. If they had caught it in time, the treatment options were terribly invasive, with no guarantees of success. He too hated hospitals, but when he could no longer function due to the pain, it was the best way to show our love for him. Sometimes there is nothing else to do but ease their passing. It gives me comfort knowing that from the time he was hospitalized until his passing 6 days later, he was always surrounded by family, love and laughter. He was given pain medications, so he wasn't hurting. It was a gift of love, and I don't regret it.
You can only do what your heart and the circumstances dictate, Lea. My prayers will continue to be with you in this time of trial.
pam-sue and gemini_sage, Thank you, I feel most blessed. The Blue Angel Orchid blooming when it did was a lovely Christmas present. It is still surprising me. I discovered today that it has a beautiful aroma. It smells kinda like Grape Hyacinth only much stronger. Dad's user name here at DG is Trois. I derive a great deal of comfort reading the threads he started and seeing the photos he posted. I'm totally blown away by how many people have posted on his Memory Garden Thread, and how many people have viewed it too. So many people have reached out to me in my grief, and made me feel a welcomed member of the DG community! : )
I do hope that everyone is coping well with the weather. We have been having some unseasonable freezes. I have been running around covering some of my frost sensitive plants. On the bright side, it should be good weather for winter sowing! : )
I would be interested in joining a herbal seed co-op. I was commenting on Christmas day, how much I enjoyed being able to use my own Bay Leaves for seasoning. Tastes so much better. Good idea critter! : )
star, tcs, wind, thanks for all the tips, and inviting me along on this journey! I am learning so Much! : 0
I am having a great time and making new friends all over the country. : )
WIB,
SW
SW - we cross-posted, but glad we did. Both my parents passed after their own very trying situations, and it was nearly impossible for my sis and I to not only watch but try to help them deal with everything while not taking away their ability to decide for themselves. It's a very tough and narrow line, but you're right - one of the glories of DG is that we are support for each other. I miss them desperately, but I don't wish they were still alive as I quite honestly know the cost would be much higher for them than it's worth. They are at peace - it's my own acceptance of being without them that's the hardest now.
dryad, you are so right. Sometimes, I'd almost give my firstborn (he can be really irritating) for one more conversation with Dad, but I am comforted knowing that Dad wanted me to go on and live, love and learn. His death is part of the natural cycle. In some ways I'll never stop missing him. I am coming to terms with him being gone. Probably because so many of you have allowed me to cry on your electronic shoulders. In time it will become easier.
I am reminded of the Bible Verse, and the song, "There is a season and a time for all things under Heaven"? Not sure about the precise wording. You know the song, Peter, Paul and Mary recorded it in the 60's. The point being, that when the Creator deems the time is right, your sorrow for your parents will be replaced in your memory with all the beautiful things that you remember about them, and in time, become the jewels you hold dearest. I know a lot of us are missing those loved ones no longer with us. You are not alone in this and neither am I.
Dad always encouraged me to take time to smell the roses. I was so busy then, that I assured him that even if I didn't have time to smell the roses, I took the time to play with the kids and the kittens.
My advise to everyone is do what makes you happy! Find things to laugh about, and people to laugh with! Never pass up a chance to smell a flower, play with kids and kittens. Dance as often as the opportunity presents and it's ok to dance all by yourself! Sing even if it drives your kids nuts ('Chelle), it will make your heart lighter and life's travails easier to cope with. Not every day will be easy, but tomorrow IS another day. Resolve to forgive yourself, and be kinder to those who drive you crazy. If nothing else, it will leave them scratching their heads wondering what the heck is wrong with you! : )
Most importantly, Thank the Creator for the many Blessings we have. I Thank the Creator for all of you! : )
Ok, enough of my soapbox for today!
Be of good heart!
Walk In Beauty!
SW
Lea,
Sent you a D-mail , you are in my thoughts don't post much but have known you for years , I know you will make the right choices maybe Hospice would be able to help, I know you have done the best you can and I know you want what is best for him. Mom was my hardest but made a promise to my Dad no nursing home and thank the lord when my health started failing he took her home !!!!!!!!! My Dad was awesome , He was so passive and sweet unlike the person he was before he became sick guess that was a blessing also. I pray for your strength to make it thru this passage. You are stronge!!! And also loving Hang in there girl, You will do the right thing..
Thinkig of You,
Carolyn
Jill -- do post back what you decide to do with the Herbs... i too may be interested... gotta have yummies for the "cats"
... and i have noticed all the parsley that i planted for the "cats" the bunnies are enjoying this winter.
Singing Wolf ,You are an awesome person , I have seen many of your post and you are so inspiring for others , wonder if our forfathers are connected . You don't know but now you do that you have touched my heart many times. And I would like to thank you, you have showed that life is a blessing and we should all grask it and hold on. I have been doing nothing since My son took his life 2 months ago but between you and Ella my bestest friend went out today and repotted plants,
Thank You Both,
Carolyn
((((Carolyn)))) I can't seem to find words for you to express my sorrow at your loss, but I'm glad you got some dirt under your nails today.
Thanks,Critterologist,
I follow Ella around on here cause I introduced her to Daves , she will agree, I am not a commenting person on her but read as much as I can sure learn alot . Have known some on here for years but am silent , I have a lot of heart and try to please but sometimes it is misunderstood, have known Lea since my mom was sick and Lord knows I know the pain in trying to follow Gods cammandmunts (ms) Honor thy mother and father so being the only caretaker they had I know how hard it can be . My blessing have been flowers, which my mom loved , My dad was a gardening man if you couldn't eat it you didn't need it. Trying to do the Veggies has been a problem cause he said that all that sun made him sick but I keep trying , he gave to the neighbors and they all remenbered my son had a green thunmb and he was getting the nap of it , had closeyour with my parents but he gave up and took his self away at 38 and it is very hard , Ella has been a blessing sending me Brugs to grow and seeds to keep me going. and have something growing and in bloom even now so know am being told its okay just hang in there.
Thanks,
Carolyn
Aww, Carolyn, let me give you a Hug!
You have dmail.
I'm so glad you chimed in. I had to laugh. Flowers are a luxury! If you can't eat it you don't waste water or time on it! We always had a kitchen garden when we could, growing up. : )
I've come to hate mater worms, but my chickens love 'em!
Are there any plants besides the Brugs you'd like to try this year? Do let me know, and if I can share you know I will. I bet (sucker bet) my fellow piggies would too.
In NAI society everyone is a part of the circle, even those who sit on the side lines at the Pow Wows and watch the Dancers are part of the circle of life. If we didn't have them, who would watch the Dancers? When I first started going to the Pow Wows, I sat on the side lines and watched. I learned, and when I felt comfortable and welcomed I jumped right in. Sometimes I got the terrible "foot in mouth" disease, but I apologized, learned from my mistakes, and went on with my path. Don't ever be afraid of making mistakes. Those are our best lessons. The ones we never forget. Don't let mistakes stop you from learning either.
Always a balancing act! : )
WIB!
SW
Hi LeBug, we had a house full tonight and three special seniors in the bunch. My mom (77), my girl friend's mom (83) and her friend (87). I've been thinking of your dad, I hope he feels better xoxox. Blessings to him and to you for being there for him :)
Critter, a basil or herb co-op sounds very interesting :)
Singing Wolf
I hear you Loud and clear, but doesn't the dancer's clear your mind , Love it when I get to go to the stands of my native family and get the herbs they so relyed on to take care of them , thats why I am still here , living off the lands , my native family!!! they where awesome!!!!
Carolyn
Carolyn,
They are still with you, girl. At least their knowledge passed on to you is, and so are they through you! : ) And you'd better share with us too! : )
For me, both singing and dancing are all a part of praying, and giving thanks. Kinda like planting extra seeds for the wild ones! : )
It's all connected, kind of like the internet connects all of us.
WIB,
SW
Mornign everybody!
PanSue. Your seeds arrived yesterday!!!!!!!! And MyGypsyRose your stamps arrived too. : )
At least the popping noises have stopped for now. not feelign like I have to duck anyways. LOL
Carolyn... Glad to see ya posting. Miss Shy! : ) Probably alot of folks wish I was not such a motor mouth. hehehehhe She may not be much of a poster, but she has ears an dshoulders that are as strong as rock to lean on too.
Carolyn has been with the piggie s since the first swap and all through the cottage garden too and through this swap. If ya need to try adn start some seed and especially if ya need to do cuttings and woodies, she is the lady to ask. A definate green thumb she has for them. I bug her daily about somethign or other, and the things I constantly fail at or are afraid to try, she will start for me.
CannaGirl... This monkey ball ya sent, do you happen to know is it also called the potato vine? Need to make sure if it is an invasive or not. Potato vine was the only other common name of a plant I coudl find for it.
critter, even though I've been trying to restrain myself from ordering seeds (knowing I'm going to be overwhelmed as it is, lol), I would be interested in the herb seed co op. I will at least show restraint and won't order any ornamental seed, only food or herbs, LOL. I'll hold out on the Leopard's Bane till I come across someone who has saved seed :-)
SW, I've so enjoyed your posts and getting to know you :-) Your words come from the heart and it shows. Thanks so much for sharing.
Carolyn, its very good to meet you! Thanks for joining the chat and sharing. My heart goes out to you, the pain of such a loss is unimaginable for me. You're in my prayers.
Anyone do Heucheras by seed?
how long until they are nice and 'big', or do they stay small for a long time?
I've been flipping thru BlueStone's catalog, and i'm 'itchin' for some chartreuse and deep purples...
Aaahhhh SW!! Your notes to us are so profound and full of love - you make me cry. In a warm fuzzy sort of way. ^_^ You have touched my heart in just the few weeks I've known you.
So tell me SW, did Carolyn give your name away....Ella?
chelle ... Ella is Star.
Ella is Starlight. :-)
I'm debating between doing a small, quick co-op just for basil seeds from Hazzards (maybe 200 packets to make from the bulk packs) or including more kinds of herbs ($10 per person for a 20 person co-op turns out to be probably a 600 packet repacking job. It helps that a dear friend just offered to come over for a seed-packing get together!
I appreciate the positive feedback!
Neal, I do think one of those packs of Leopard's Bane would be lovely for doing some direct sowing "out there"... maybe we could split a pack of one of the shorter ones ('Little Leo' I think was one name) if when I order.
Jill, i'd think what ever is easiest on you.
Hi folks! : )
I guess I've been kind of wordy myself these last few days. I've been in a contemplative frame of mind, and I appreciate your patience in letting me get it all out. Carolyn's grief and that of some other DG'er's really got me thinking about how I am dealing with my own grief. I think it's such a subjective experience, but there are some commonalities that talking to all of you helped me get straight in my own mind. Thank you! : )
'Chelle, I always speak from my heart. I don't think anyone gave my other name away. I have been known to some as SingingWolfStar. Names are mutable, and I took part of a friends' name as part of mine after her untimely passing. Ella, Stella, and Astrid to mention a few, are names for star. I'm sure my fellows gardeners can come up with a few more, wait I just thought of Estrella, another variation of Star. How about it folks?
Critter, count me in for sure! Do you need baggies for seed? I'd be happy to share some of mine. I also have small paper envelopes that I bought by mistake a couple of years ago. I might store some of my seed in them, but I have way too many, let me know if you can use some, ok? : )
I'm really glad you have someone willing to help you sort and repackage the seed. Put on some good music and you'll be done before you know it! : )
I just got back from our new SuperTarget. Did you know that if you ask, they will have someone help you carry out that heavy stuff? I bought two huge bags of potting soil, and I'm going to force my teenagers into helping me move them into the green house so I can be ready for planting. Then I'm going to attack them milk cartons and make me some mini-green houses for winter sowing. : )
I think I'll use an awl for poking the drainage and vent holes, and I've got some plastic lanyard (like string but for crafts) that I can use to keep the top on. I love recycling stuff! : )
So what are you all up to today? BTW, it's 58 degrees outside here, sunny with clear blue skies. Still too cold!
WIB,
SW
>>and I've got some plastic lanyard (like string but for crafts) that I can use to keep the top on
SW ... for this, i use old twistie ties... like from bread bags... i'll use a hole punch for making holes near the 'cut' ... i know i have a photo somewhere... either on Daves or my other [main] computer. If i can locate it, i'll show ya how i do that with the containers.
and.. yes... i too love to recycle old things.
found the image http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/fp.php?pid=3185118
See I think my problem with the jugs was not cutting them high enough. I looked at your picture and it looks like the plants have much more room for roots to grow down. : ) I am going to try a few for fun. : )
Evenign folks!!!Been cloudy and rainy on and off here today bit not bad. can definanetly feel the chill in the air coming again. Rommorrow night will be freezign temps again. Sunscreen to snowsuits.
I going back through all the threads and all my dmails again for swap for third time. I must have been half a sleep the one night when I was copign stuff, cuz I have no idea what "yellow spam" is and means that just what I wrote on my peoples oinkign lists. I know if I made that error I must have another one somewhere else too. : )
I gonna need some tubes of preperation H if I keep sittign at the puter for so many hours and so long. LOL
I am big timein to workign and saving endangered plants and growign them adn then tryign to get them to out to other folsk to try and cultivate.
I have a very very limited few seeds of an endangered plant. I gona grow a few of the seeds here, but am looking for somebody else who might have conditions to that coudl try and grow a couple of these seeds.
Google Helianthus schweinitzii. It is an endangered and rare Wild Sunflower. If you think you can get it to grow in yoru area, let me know and I wil send ya couple of seeds to try. The only thing is if ya get them to grow and bloom and make seed, I ask that if you will send me back a packet of seed of them, so I cna continue with my endangered and restoration work. If you grow these seeds and you get seed, besides giving me seed, you have to understand that you cannot sell the seeds you get. It against the law to sell rare and endangered seeds. Just want ya to know what ya getting into.
Glad you posted that photo tcs, you just saved me some work! : )
I'll just poke them with the awl (like an ice pick but not as long), and then cut them and leave the handle above the hinge. How clever! Oh, your hole punch idea is a good one too, but only my kids know where they disappeared it to. I don't. : (
I'm not sure, but I have a very similar flower that I grow here, that looks a lot like the Helianthus schweinitzii. I am not sure what it is. However, I do have both clay and decomposed granite soil in full sun locations. I'll have to search for the pictures I took this past summer. It got pretty well froze back this last week.
WIB,
SW
Ella, I found some seeds in my stash that a couple of piggies had asked for, but that I didn't think I had enough. However, here they are. Would it be okay for me to mail them tomorrow to you to include in the piggie swap?
Lea, I know you and your Dad are going through the hardest time of life, now. I can't say more eloquently or substantially the words that Ella and SingingWolf and others have said - just want you to know you're not alone and am keeping both of you close to my heart.
Jill, the herb coop sounds wonderful - must research tea and medicinal herbs...Leopard's Bane sounds like something I'd be interested in, too. I don't mind if you say who volunteered to come over and help sort, bag, label seeds, etc. Ya think we'll have enough time to fool with seeds with that piano sitting there? lol
Regarding Ella, preparation H, and Jill's herb coop - did y'all know that comfrey leaves are supposed to make a good alternative to preparation H? I can see that Jill's herb coop is going to be vewwwwwwy interesting. lol Couldn't resist getting silly...after churning out 370 packets for the piggies and mountains of seeds for some other causes...Ella's remark just seemed to ring a few bells, here.
Ya know, with my glasses off, just about anything yellow kinda DOES look like yellow spam. Ya had ta say it, didntcha, Ella? rofl
(oops - crossed posts with SingingWolf)
LOL.... hehehehe Thanks for th echuckles Blue. Ya sure send em on. We got the last four piggies from bad weather that we waiting on and the it will be pack em up and move the piggy troughs on out.
Ok, I searched my computer over and I think I found it, but I'm not sure what it is. I'll have to ask my brother. He is the one that brings home the natives. This one grows best in or near water. The seeds are really stickery, if you brush up against the plant they cling to the cloth, and are really hard to remove. It is probably a different kind of Helianthus.
Ella, witchhazel works well too. It's the main ingredient in Tucks! LOL! : )
I can just see you making a warm compress using the comfrey leaves and applying it to the affected area. No wait, I don't want that visual. : )
WIB!
SW
Singing Wolf. great. Hopefulyl he wil know th ename of the one ya have. Ya wanna try and grow out a few of these?????
Hahahhahaha I don't use no leaves, no more, ever unless they a hickory or an oak leaf. A friend and me both got a major case of posion ivy from a " doing it like the bears do in the woods" Most embarrrasing time of my life at the docs. We didn't knwo what posion ivy at the time looked like. I sure do now. : ) Couldn't sit down or wear pants for quite awhile. LOL
Oh, the tails we could tell about poison ivy...oops - tales - couldn't resist this one, either
Didja know that poison ivy was introduced here sometime in the 1900s as an ornamental for its beautiful fall foliage? On purpose? I'll bet the folks who did that couldn't even spell the word *habitat* let alone analyze how a plant might fit in within a different ecological system - or not. grumpgrump
sorry - poison ivy was brought to America in the 1800s - if my memory is correct is was some time around 1872 - plus or minus a few years
This message was edited Dec 28, 2008 10:12 PM
I just wanted to pop in say that I would also be interested in a herb co-op.
Hope everyone had a good, safe holiday..we saw too many accidents on the road when we left to visit family:(
Hi Star, I think I could get Helianthus schweinitzii to grow in my area if you want me to try it. NJ is sort of close to the Carolinas where it seems to grow best. I love plants with purple/burgundy stems :))) The only thing is, is that we do have Jerusalem artichoke and other Helianthus in the area....if cross pollination is a concern I may not be the best candidate.