Things I learned while visiting the Southern states:

A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South .

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South.

If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words.

It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.

'Jaw-P?' means, 'Did y'all go to the bathroom?

People actually grow and eat okra.

'Fixinto' is one word.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two.
We do like a little tea with our sugar.

The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning, 'Did you eat?'

You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is.
You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

You measure distance in minutes (sometimes hours).

You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

All the festivals across the state are named after
a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.

You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and Ketchup.

The local papers cover national and international News on one page,
but require 6 pages for local Gossip and high school football.

You think that the first day of deer season is a National holiday.

You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm.'

You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, Still summer, and Christmas.

Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as
'goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World.'

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good stew weather.

Fried catfish is the other white meat.

We don't need no dang driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.