Random Quote of the Day

So, I've played a game for years called Random Quote of the Day. It started with a comic spoken work routine, I think it was Louis Black, about being in IHOP and over hearing the words "If it wasn't for my horse I wouldn't have spent that year in college." and how comments like that will cause your head to explode if you don't get them out. So, we started collecting the weird things we heard.

Here's an example:
"My dad's raising the money this year because he's going to be using duck tape." My friend's dad still does Easter egg hunts. He started with standard eggs, as his kids got older he went to plastic eggs with candy, then money, that year he was going to use duck tape to make the eggs harder to find.

So, I was wondering if others would like to add their own, and comment on others, Random Quotes of the Day.

If you have an explanation add it, if not the quotes are amusing on their own.