Stupid Gardener Tricks

Usually I try to post only the good pictures and pretend I never do anything stupid. But, what the heck, I thought maybe we could learn from each others mistakes. So I'm starting this thread in the hopes we'll all confess our less than stellar experiments. Here's my first "smack upside the head."

For a couple years I had this canna that keep getting larger in diameter, but never got more than about two feet tall. I couldn't figure out what its problem was. For goodness sake, they grow like weeds at abandoned home sites and I can't get mine to bloom???? How lame a gardener am I? And then it finally dawned on me one day this spring. I had planted them right under the drip line of the roof- and we either get no rain or 2" in 20 minutes. So I dug them up and replanted them in two spots in the yard. Picture attached. Deep sigh.

And then there is that whole spring ephemeral thing. Oops. I have planted two plants in the same hole because I forgot that there was begonia in that spot and planted an epimedium there this fall. I think this round goes to the begonia.

Beware the pass-a-long plant. Ardesia swears that I will soon rue the day I planted ONE clerodendrum bungei. Yes, last year I planted one, this year I have 20+. But, they're so pretty...

cool clerodendrum bungei. pretty flower

I remember when I was 25, just starting out with a family, wanting to put in a 'small' vegatable garden I picked up some plants, not knowing how many to plant, not knowing how many I would kill due to having no gardening skills...since they were on sale late in the season and looking very worse for wear I bought 4 - 4 packs each of tomatos, cukes, some zuchhini and egg plant...surely I thought they would not all make it. they already looked pathetic..but thrive they did...I remember vividly the dismay my then MIL showed at why would I want to plant so many tomato plants...needless to say I learned to can that summer and how to create many recipes with zuchhini and eggplant!

I don't know where to start..... There have been many, many stupid gardener tricks over the years. Mostly it has been in planting things that have become invasive like most of the clerodendrons. I have 2 that are great but the bungii and that orangy one were next to impossible to control. Then there are the crocosmia that I will never rid my garden of and the colocasia (the blue green one) and ChiChi the Mexican Petunia, AGHHHHHH!

Then there is the problem of trees growing too fast. I now have shade where I didn 't plan on having it for another few years. Now I have to transplant many, many daylilies into a sunnier spot.

I could go on and on but, by far, the truly stupidest trick I am guilty of is collecting too many plants. My garden would look so much nicer if I had more discipline. There are plants and pots everywhere. My soil needs amending and that is one of those things I should have done first.........DUH

I planted a cute little pussy willow at the corner of the deck..it became the pussy willow that ATE the deck. It is now a mere stump that will be with me forever because the six miles of root under the deck is holding on for dear life!

Those of you that follow the ferns forum may know that recently I have been waging war against some kind of evil looking fern parasite that seemed to be winning the war against my lovely darlings. I used all kinds of homemade (deadly;smelly;evil) brews as well as wild and obscene threats.. I dutifully sprayed morn and night... .... turns out the evil doers were spores.

LOLOLOLOL That one's too funny! :)) I don't think I can even chime in here on the stupid thing 'cus I'm still so new I don't know what's smart or what's stupid, and what I've done on purpose or by accident! :( I'm getting there, tho.....

Speaking of ferns, one time I heard this lady on TV talking about how the Kimberly Queen (Nephrolepes obliterata) fern can handle full sun. Great, says I, and I go out and buy a nice big pot and set it in a sunny bed. Then I noticed it was popping up all over the bed; it had gotten out the drain holes in he pot and was spreading. This was wonderful, I thought at that time. Nowadays I think differently; it chokes out everything in it's path.

What a nightmare that one has been, it's possible I'll never be able to rid my garden of it. How come I always plant thugs?

msgrosie - now THAT is amusing...you poor thing...

Missingrosie: I love the fern spores story!~ Very funny. Thanks for the laugh.

I did manage to kill and Australia tree fern just last year because I was told to be very careful not to overwater it. Poor thing cacked from dehydration. (I have another now that seems verrry happy, and I do water it.)

I'm sure I have many other stupid garden tricks I've pulled off - must've blocked them out of my memory - too embarrassing! LOL.
Deb

Ardesia - the 'obliterata' part might have made me a tad nervous - (smile)

LOL!

LOL The story of my life........ I never stop to think.

ardesia...thats cause you stop to smell the roses and 'think' goes right out the window just like with the rest of us gardeners! LOL

A neat (but impossible)thread, bordersand jacks! So many dumb mistakes, often repeated over the years with different plants...too embarrasing to 'fess up...

Ah come on on Stono, you can do it!

missingrosie- still giggling at the spore story. That is totally something I would do.

I just committed one of my unfortunately frequent idiot mistakes- impulse buy followed by slow death. I'll have no place for a plant so it sits in its little plastic pot on the north side of the house and I'll bargain with it a I pass it by, "Hang on", "I'm thinking of the perfect spot for you", "I just have to prepare the bed/kill the weeds/move the shrub/fill in the blank". And at first I'll be very good about watering it. Sometimes there are a whole bunch of plants in pots awaiting permanent homes. And slowly the herd thins... The strong get planted, the weak get the compost bin.

The other day I had bought some phlox and had them sitting in the middle of the driveway. My husband says to me, "What are you going to do with those?" I thought that was a stupid question so I said rather sarcastically, "Um, plant them?" He said, "Oh, I thought we'd just leave them there 'til they dried up and blew away." You know, sometimes I really understand the premise behind the tv show "Snapped."

Jenny

This message was edited Jul 7, 2008 2:47 PM

"impulse buy followed by slow death" LOL, been there done that (too many times.) One would think the plant police would have hauled me off to the hoosegow by now.

Or, how about when I continue to try plants that I know perfectly well do not do thrive here????

Ha Ha - gave me a chuckle. I do that North Side of the house thing too. It is my holding tank! I also justify the dead plant in the pot desiccating in the sun by saying -- "this is a trial by fire..... a test" Only the strongest survive and if it does..it BELONGS in my garden. If it doesn't..... well then...it is fate.. When I say this to my husband, his eyes bounce and roll.
Borders -- I actually PLANT the thing on the north side -- my husband routinely takes a peek to see 'how much money" (you) "have wasted this week." (SNORT)

Rosie, Your husband must be my hiusband's twin brother. Double snort. LOL

Hey Carolina gardening guys - do you wives do that to you too??????

Ardesia -- I bet the 'guys' ALWAYS plant what they purchase RIGHT AWAY - same day. The engine hasn't stopped 'pinging' and that plant is planted!!! Heck, I bet the roots are already reaching for the center of the earth by sundown. Right guys?!!! (smile)

You guys are too funny, but your confessions are soothing my soul. :)) So, do we gardeners never reach perfection?

I thought I had a mutant Verbena Homestead the last few weeks near the middle of one of my new beds. It kept growing taller & taller and had no blooms, despite my trimming it back; I even tried to root some of its cuttings a few weeks ago.

Well, it was nearly taking over my prized new Black Lace Elderberry again (which is the centerpoint of that bed), so I went to cut it back again over the weekend. When I did, I noticed some blooms near the ground, so I went digging down to see what was going on and realized what I *thought* was the mutant verbena was really a weed. It was so close to the verbena I planted, and the leaves were so similar.....(just rolling my eyes at my stupidity here). I gave it a good yank & pulled up a near tree - ant hill & all. lololol The Verbena came up with it, too, so I had to pull out my handy bug spray & kill the fire ants before I could put it back in. Got stung a couple of times, but they don't bother me too much anymore.

This week I start pulling out the dead plants that didn't make it from the pots, so I can use them again to grow/kill something else. lol

Oh, I feel SO MUCH better about myself after reading all this.....I've done everything you've mentioned above (well, honestly, I do know wnat fern spores look like....hehehe-love that story!). But I have lovingly cultivated worthless weeds for months, waiting breathlessly for that oh-so-special first bloom. And the north side of my house, as well as a large spot under some trees is chock full of plants that need a home in the ground---and some of them have been there 2 years!

Boy oh Boy... NOW I know I'm not the ONLY gardener that wastes money on plants that sometimes don't make it into the ground. I KICK myself and swear "I won't do that again" but oops... another one!

(I know, I know, I don't belong on Carolina Gardening but I could NOT resist reading this thread when I saw the title)

Well psych you are among friends here. Ya'll come right on in and set a spell; we'll share a glass of sweet tea with you.

p.s. we should all be bruised, abused and battered from all those kicks we give ourselves. LOL

psychw2 - of course you do. You belong anywhere you want to. I may live in North Carolina but what comes out of my mouth is pure Brooklyn!! Don't worry about the geography, it's all the same.... the flowers level the playing field (in this thread..that'll be the 'Opps Field') ((Idaho gardens DO have a north side.....right??))

Oh ya, we got a "North side" but it took me a while to figure it out since I am so geographically/directionally challenged! I came an area with ONE set of hills and I rode a horse that knew the way home.

HERE... we live in a "valley" with mountains on two sides and it's just me and GPS to get me home!

Oh yes... another stupid trick on my part today and I got off VERY LUCKY! I bend over to pull the water hose when something brushed against my face. I forgot all about the wasp nest that was being built inside the tin can of my "Welcome Garden Tour" sign! My face was about 6 inches from it. I'm not allergic but I sure am CHICKEN! That scared me good!

I know about being scared. I was weeding without gloves (last time I do that) and I put my hand down alongside the foundation of the house to clean out some dried leaves that settled there.... I reached down and hauled up a huge mass of wriggling baby snakes. I was young then...or the old heart would never have stood it. I had an 'incident' with bees too. If you have time for a most embarassing moment check this out in the Northeast Gardening forum.

http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/850847/

THANK YOU ROSIE! For sharing the "most intimate details" of your misfortune! I seriously laughed for a good long time! THAT was great!

OMG, MissingRosie!!! That story is just tooo,tooo,tooo funny! HAHALOLOLOL! It's so kind of you to share your embarassing moments with us!!

msgrosie - I assume you now put on panties prior to walking outside in your shift LOL so glad you did not impale yourself on your bird!

me too (smile)

live and learn ....... nowadays I pull those bloomers so high that it looks like I'm wearing a lace collar!

This message was edited Jul 7, 2008 8:41 PM

O.k., Bordersandjacks. You're right. Two biggest bofo's are the gorgeous Xanthesoma atrovirens albomarginata, and Sinningea tubiflora (Hardy Gloxinia), closely followed by various species of Allocasia. All impossibly invasive in my gardens, and I've grown to hate them. Even weed killer won't stop them (and I hate to resort to that, but I will!). I felt guilty sending them to Tropicana and Bev, but they came complete with warnings. My secret hope is that they will not be as invasive up there in the 7's as they are down here! I don't think they will be, but I also don't think they'll achieve the striking size they achieve down here in the low country...an unfortunate trade-off...but I'd trade for it. Man, they are a true PEST!

Ah, Stono....you sent me the ever invasive ruellia...and so far it's fine here:-) It's still in the nice spot that I planted it in-knock on wood! I'll keep you updated, though. Wanna pest? Two words...Gooseneck Loostrife and I paid to have it here!!! Looks like the drought knocked it back some last year...but not nearly enough or it'd be gone!
Gotta go get some tissues...too much laughter!!!!!

That's so familiar Stono.

I don't happen to have that siningea so I looked it up in plantfiles and had to laugh, it is catagorized as an alpine or rock garden plant. However, the only entry was from someone in Louisiana who mentions it can get out of control in damp, salty spots.

Oh, I forgot my best faux pax (is that how you spell that?).....I digress....my best mistake was planting not ONE, not TWO, no, not even THREE Salvia 'Black and Blue'........yep, I planted FOUR, because I wasn't sure I'd have enough!!!

Those of you who have this beautiful, hardy plant are now laughing your heads off, of course..............you get the joke. For those of you who don't, just heed my warning.....ONE is all you will ever need in this lifetime! And I say that sincerely, because ONE you will adore and love--its a gorgeous plant. TWO you will not love so much. And if you should, heaven forbid, plant THREE, especially where it is well-suited, well, let me know how you get rid of it, I need some help.

yoteD-
I planted the blue salvia - I am not far from you....are you saying that it will go nuts?
I've got it under a birch tree and was so thrilled that it is surviving with the root competion and the part shade.......

I have 3 of those - Red Hot Sally (?) - still in a pot. Are you saying if I put them in the ground they'll spread? Do they bloom all summer?