I CAN - tell us what you CAN do #2

The other thread was getting a bit long so I thought a new one was in order. Same thoughts and feelings. Just a shorter thread for those on dial up.

This morning I finished weeding a 5 X 20+' bed of iris that is also somewhat of a pet cemetary. The Miners Lettuce stalks were probably thumb thickness and they must have been 3' or more. But with all the rain the soil was still kind of soft tho not so muddy it wouldn't shake off the roots. I really need to put something in that bed that will look nice the rest of the season without being a threat to the open air the iris need. I have dozens of a Live Forever Sedum I can put over there so that may be this afternoon's project. There are 2 nice rhubarb plants in one corner I wish would spread out more. And put more bean seeds in a couple pots. The others seem to have disappeared.

GOD bless and keep each of you.

I hope you don't mind, I'm going to post a link to this thread from the #1 and "coming from" link here too. http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/804306/

Thanks psych, wouldn't want to lose anyone.

Yes, thank you. I don't know how to do that so I always have to pray someone else who does know how will jump in and do it for me.

I just finished a round of my TENS & ice pack then a few rep. of some of the exercises for my left shoulder. Now it really aches. I did one cabinet door and part of another one before all that and now I think I'll tackle a couple more doors. I't kind of hot outside but not enough to close windows and turn on the AC.

GOD bless and keep each of you.

How are we going to get the rest of the gang over to THIS thread?

I don't know Carrie, I know there have to be more than just us that have ideas and helpful ways to get it done. Dave's could be THE place for accessible gardening info.

I posted that I had made it and Psychw2 gave them the link. Maybe we need to dmail each of them about it.

Oh, I thought we meant others on Dave's Garden that we haven't met. Perhaps the others were busy and haven't been on in a few days. I know when the weather is nice Dave's is #2, outside is #1.

I did mean the others on this thread. But I know what you mean Cathy, both outside being #1 and DavesGarden being THE place for accessible gardening!

I can cut grass on riding lawn mower so spouse can spend his time doing things that I can not do. I can do it even when 100 degrees and humidity thick as soup. I do not love it but can do it. I grumble and complain about limitations with fibromyalgia until I see others with more problems and I stop and count my blessings. We are starting to build new house, pray that I have the strength to be of some use to spouse. He is a blessing He is big and strong and I get jealous because he can work all day and come home and work on houseplace. I wish I had half his strength. But Thank God he gave me a better half who has it.

Oh scraps, I hear you. Division of labor - from each according to ability! DH is such a gentleman he won't always let me do the hard things I can do. I'm so beat, I'm not making sense.

Carrie, you are making perfect sense.

Today, I can finish planting the corms, bulbs, tubers, etc. that I brought home in spent soil from Powell Gardens over a month ago. I know what some of them are but others are a mistery. I laid many layers of very wet newspapers and a piece of mobile home skirting on my winter squash bed to keep the weeds down & the moisture in the soil.

I raked up some of the grass that Holly had mowed and put it over a layer of bunny poo in the one of the dryer tubs that has several eggplant plants and one mum that use to be struggling to survive. That will help keep the moisture in and fertilize them at the same time. I have other containers I need to do that with.

GOD bless and keep each of you.

My Sweetie just plumbed the bathroom sinks. He made changes in the way they were routed to give us more room under the sink as well. This is always the kind of task that is difficult because it involves getting up & down off the floor. He can NOT squat because the artificial leg has NO movement in the ankle. He replaced the nasty old-fashioned counter top with a used Corian and two beautiful cast iron porcelain cover sinks with matching brass hardware. We had mismatched sinks with cracks & mismatched faucets prior. It looks so nice! We are both so pleased with it.

Now I have to get with the program and prep & paint the walls, make the new Roman shade. We have the flooring bought and the new tall toilet.

Carrie, when you say you do the things YOU can, I understand. When I said I'd clean up, he said "am I a chauvinist?" "LOL, NOOOOOOoooo, its something I can do!" I do not have the skill set my husband has, and with his disability or not, I am the one looking for "things I can do!". He is such an Angel and I am VERY lucky.

Understanding here, too. I don't last long, but let me do what I can do. Today I've been cleaning off the bookcase in the kitchen. Clean a shelf, rest awhile... I'm through the first layer of books and grandkid stuff. Cookbooks are going on the plant shelf for the summer. And I finally found a place to donate my daughter's wedding dress that she never ended up using, so it left in the mail, now that took up a ton of space in the closet. Spent 2 hours on the phone with the computer company. I finally saved up enough for a new one and it arrived dead. They are sending a new one.

I'm counting my blessings today, the little city where my daughter lives has flooded. She lives uphill thank goodness, but it is really sad. Her sitter's family is moving in with her. What a mess.

Cathy, getting rid of clutter is a major time-saver, although it feels SO overwhelming. I swore this is the year that we're holding a yard sale. If nobody claims it, I'm selling it, and that includes children!

Our prayers and thoughts are with your daughter and her sitter!

We can all PRAY. That is one thing everyone can do, anytime, anyplace.

I CAN put the bottom doors back on the kitchen cabinets. Only 3 more to go. I'll have Kyle put the upper door back on. I'm going to leave doors off the cabinets for the pots and pans over the stove and the ones for the dishes, glasses, etc. Nothing but in the way for me. Also makes the kitchen lighter looking for some reason. Especially the one for the dishes because that use to stop the light flow. Now light can flow thru that area and let me see everything in it anytime and be able to reach items I had trouble reaching before because I had to reach around a door.

I CAN wipe down a couple really dirty door frames too. And make phone calls regarding the flower beds at the church. I hopefully I will be able to go to the church work day tomorrow and work in the flower beds.

GOD bless and keep each of you. I really mean that.

I CAN fill out form after form after form to get my husband and my daughter into and through college. Somehow this one year we made too much for Pell grants we were counting on. So I'm filling out a "Parent Petition to Adjust Expected Family Contribution" to see if DD's hippie college might reconsider. I'm afraid DH's school is way too bureaucratic to ever take special circumstances into consideration.

Carrie, I HATE paperwork so if you handle that stuff at your house, God Bless YOU!!! Sorry to hear you have to jump thru more hoops to get some of the money you were counting on.

LOL, I didn't say I enjoyed it, only that I could do it when necessary! LOL!

Fill out the papers for your DH & we'll all agree in prayer that GOD will move them to help you.

Paperwork isn't my 'thing' either. It doesn't take long for my mind to be spinning and my head feels like it is floating somewhere away from my body.

I notice people using the term "DH" quite a bit....My DH did this, your "DH".......what is a "DH"? LOL I guess if I had one I'd know.....maybe Dear Hubby??? Oh how I avoid the ice packs, but my shoulders and knees are absolutely screaming....didn't even go to church this morning and that is truly rare........I am soooo over this fibro and the constant battle with "Arthur".............

It can be "dear husband" or "darling husband" or "darn husband" or "dreadful husband" - generally, the second word is husband (or wife or daughter or whatever makes sense in the context) and the first word is an adjective that is known only deep in the heart of the person using it. I usually think "darling" in my head.

Welcome, to DG, Birdie. You'll love it here! Who's Arthur?

My husband has something chronic. Is there anything that MEN get? It's not MS - I've got that. He get's nausea and vomiting periodically, like once every month or two, night sweats, sores in his mouth and nose, chills, joint pain, nerve pain, weird stuff. He already has regular arthritis, and he was tested for rheumatoid but it was negative. He's 56, and he already has no appendix or gallbladder. Last night he was having severe pain - I guess it was in his right side ribs.

He's one of those kinds of men who, when he's sick, is SUCH a baby, but then is too macho to do anything like go to the doctor about it. Maybe because he has no health insurance until 8-1.

Anyway, I CAN be a pain in the butt to every member of my family about their health!

Carrie

Carrie, your description of your husband's problems is perfect for a liver disease of some kind. Make him an appointment for 8-1!

No, no, a LIVER disease? Your liver's not on your RIGHT side - is it?

Birdie, by the way, DG is Dave's Garden - sorry. We must be so annoying. http://davesgarden.com/guides/articles/view/549/
Might be helpful (she says, not humble at all).

Hey Carrie, no sense being humble! Its a VERY helpful article! I remember when I first got into computers, I had a computer geek buddy that I asked all my "dumb" questions of. What does LOL, BRB, etc, etc mean??? Hey, I'm a little more experienced now and can even GUESS what some of the "new to me" ones mean. So TTYL!!

Thanks! It's just in my bio, I say I'm learning to be humble, but every time it seems easier than explaining everything, i trot out that article.

BTW, the series of DG 101 or intro to DG articles is finally continuing. Next up is an article about keeping your DG journal (by someone else - so that I can learn how to do it)!

I know I don't use ALL the features available to me here on DG. I have used the tutorial but its probably time to do it again to see whats changed or been added.

What would all of you recommend for a small walk way that didn't break the bank?

I am redoing our humble little "front" yard. It's only about 14 x 30 and is adjacent to our sidewalk out to the main part of the fenced in yard. Currently I have a U-shaped walk planned. I had planned on just mulching it ALL, flower bed and "walk". I explained to my husband I intended to mulch the walk in the front, and gravel the big walk.

He asked if I had seen the interlocking rubber mat that was on display at the hardware store. They "loosely" resemble cobblestones in dark brick red. They are NOT cheap. My husband has a prosthetic leg and uneven surfaces are very dangerous for him. I love the look of flagstone but even if we could afford it (we can't!!) I'm not sure it is level enough.

Soooooo whatta think? Any suggestions for me? He does not normally spend ANY time in the yard/garden, its not his thing. If I had a comfortable chair and a safe walk, MAYBE he'd come out occassionally. ~ Thanks,
Pat

I've opened a new thread with that question: http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/876596/

Yes, Carrie, the liver is on the right side of the body. It is a very large organ so the pain can extend from nearly the armpits to the groin. And pain in the middle or left side could be caused by the liver just hurting over there. Please do get him to a doctor quickly. There are also other gastrointestinal problems that can cause what he is doing. I'm sure he will be put thru a large number of tests including colonostopy(rectal one) and endoscopy(the stomach one). If nothing turns up have him tested for hemochromotosis. It is an uncommon liver condition and is rarely tested for. They will be checking his feratin(?)levels to see if he has too much iron in his blood. The only treatment is to donate a pint of blood periodically. My DH had it pretty badly.

Arthur is one of the 'Itis' brothers. You know, arthritis, bursitis, etc.

OH, we know Arthur, I just always called him Artie!

Yep...sounds like the same "Arthur " that battle with !
Any advise out there as to how to "fis a soil problem...I'm in NC....ya know....hard red clay....dries insto bricks....houses are make of em...lol anyway, I would amend w/ some sand, good bit of peat. some aged Horse Manure, god broken down mulch & till it all together to about 12" for planting of a new garden.....this is exactly what was done for my frond woodland shade flower garen 12 years ago...that gets mulched every fall naturall y when a big old Pin Oak Moltss.......er. sheds.......er whatever you call it ...oh yes lol....Fall ;-) Anyway....lasst week a person working for me worked my back yard in sone areas that I had marked .......BUT .wht was dond was some kind of dry old disrt w/ lots of sand, broken rocks and a little dk black stuff (??dirt?, but is so very sandy, won't even begin to sclump. and then the clay underneath was not even broken up at all. I cannot even get a shovel thre it....This was a friend "helping" me .....But I have about a$500 worth of plants yet to be planted with summer boiling down fast and soon upon us .......As a dissabled Veteran, I have limited funds and limited person capabilities, so ....HELP!! ANY BRAINSTORM IDEAS OUT THERE?? What should I do??

Depending on the depth of the stuff the friend added, you may be able to add more horse manure or steer manure and mix that slightly, leaving the clay untouched. I don't know... I have not had the clay challenge!

THE CLAY CHALLENGE! It sounds like a new reality TV show? Here in New England, we usually have the gravel challenge instead!

We have clay, too, only it is tan/gray colored. Everyone laughs at me because I bring leaves INTO my yard in the fall and spread them, then mow. Well, husband does it, I point to the bags lining the street when we go bag collecting. Some we pile up then mow, and I bag them back up for spring mulching. Punch a few holes in the bags for air and drainage, roll them over every now and then. Lovely stuff come spring.

Cathy, I have used leaves for years to attempt to amend this black gumbo we have here. We have gold and grey clay here too if you go down very far. Gravel and rocks too. Contact your city department of streets, etc. or whoever picks up the bags of leaves on the curbs. See if they will deliver them by the truck load. Around here they even drive 15 miles out in the country to get rid of them in my yarden. And one of our trucks holds about 50 bags of leaves.

Another way to use the leaves is to leave them in the bags, tear a hole or open the top if you can, add some ammonia water to moisten. Don't get them really soggy tho. Toss around every day for a couple weeks, then use as the planting medium for lots of seeds and plants. Use newpaper or other solid material to hold the bags of leaves in place and conceal what is there. Even something like old sheets, rugs, etc. Study lasanga beds and see if you can do this on your soil. Somehow it sounds very possible and even desireable. Birdie, make use of your own leaves in this sand if you can, and call your city too. Maybe some of your neighbors will be willing to deliver theirs to you to get rid of them. Any grass clippings availabel? They are high in nitrogen, rot very quickly if they are kept very moist, and are great for what you need.

We did a 10x4 lasagna bed last fall. It was about 5 feet tall at one time, down to about 18 inches now (inside concrete blocks to keep the shape). I added no dirt to it, just planted this spring straight into it. My veggies are huge, twice the size of the neighbor's on the other side of the fence. I had to get out the step ladder to tie up the tomatoes.

I'm convinced. In fact, I just mentioned to my DH that I would like another one, just not as wide. It had cardboard, newspapers, leaves, grass, hay/straw, bunny poop and food stuffs from the kitchen. I never turned it, but I did water it some when we didn't have rain for weeks last fall. I've just now had a few weeds start, but they pull right out.

There are lots of threads on the composting forum about lasagna gardening as well as a few good articles from DG writers.

I CAN drive my sister (doesn't drive, visiting from Italy) to visit my cranky father in this I-feel-like-I'm-gonna-pass-out heat we're having!

I CAN still use my riding mower, keep gas in it by myself, know how to clean the blades if something gets wound up in them, run my weedeaters, change the plastic 'string' on the Poulan myself tho sometimes I have to have my DIL start it for me if it has been sitting a couple weeks without being run. I CAN still use my big lopers on weeds I cannot pull out by the roots.

Carrie, I feel sorry for you that you are caught in the middle of this family issue. However it isn't your fault or your sister's fault that your father chooses to be in a foul mood most of the time. But remember that he is likely living in his own private hell and doesn't know anything different to do. By now it is so engrained in his personality he would have to have behavioral modification training to be any different and even that may not help much. I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Yay about you and your mower, that's great!

Yeah, that's usually what I conclude about my father too. He's been miserable most of his life. He still has bookshelves with "How to Get the Love You Need" or "Letting Go of Your Inner Demons" as books, along with 2 (two) copies of The Joy of Cooking, even though can't read and can't cook. But he is still so sour! Who needs fire and brimstone - he's got life!

I appreciate your kind thoughts and words. . .

Carrie, to be trapped in an unhappy mind is miserable!!! HOWEVER, people can change but its like the joke says "How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?" "ONE, but only if it wants to change!" Thats true of people too. He has been this way so long he probably can not even convince of any other way to be.

Protect yourself by reminding yourself that this is his private hell and it does not have to affect you more than you let it. Count YOUR blessings and wish good things for him.

Yup. Plus he is still recovering (I guess/hope) from a very debilitating couple of strokes. But thank you, you're right that I need to protect my sanity and my happiness!

I'm extremely disabled, and basically, I'm a pretty happy person. He WAS able-bodied, unhappy and depressed, but independent! Then he had these strokes. Now he's unhappy, depressed, extremely disabled and dependent! I don't think he'll ever be "happy". (He's still hoping to fall in love.) But I CAN still be happy, strong, beautiful, in love with my DH, adored by my DDs, independent (sort of).

Did I tell you guys about the stupid driving test thing? I passed, no surprise, but I was pretty anxious for a long time. (Dropped a size.)