Translation Perils

San Antonio, TX(Zone 8b)

Translation Perils
The following are -- we are assured -- genuine English-language instructions for tourists found in spots around the world:

Sign at a French swimming pool: Swimming is forbidden in absence of the Saviour.

Menu at an Athens hotel: Chopped-up cow with wire through it. (Shish kebab.)

A Polish tourist brochure: As for the tripe served you at the Hotel Monopol, you will be singing its praises to your grandchildren as you lie on your deathbed.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

In a Soviet Newspaper: There will be a Moscow exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

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