Things do always seem to go a certain stormy way in my life. My parents are visiting us right now, they arrived 2 weeks ago, my dad and I were working quite hard in yard to put plants in etc. when my father suddenly last Tuesday started feeling not well and acting real strange. Thursdaymorning my reg. docter send us immediately to hospital and after hours of tests they came back with alarming results that my dad's heartbeat was only averiging between 31-40 p/minte!!! The only thing that they could do was Pacemaker implant!!! No travel back home. Friday he had his surgery already, all that went well, however since local aneast. did not go very well it was decided he would get a full aneast. But he is still not quite awake! We're somewhat panickstricken and hope that doctors are right in thinking he needs time because of his age (84). We see progress so prob. they're right.
The backyard renovation will be on "backburner" for a while. I hope to be posting some pics in few weeks, when Dad gets home. For now one of us needs to be in hospital 24/7 because Dad speaks no english, so we're somewhat sleep deprived (there is little bed in his room) and exhausted. I will be back. Have fun yarding.
Later. Tuliplady
Storm in my house too
Oh Coby, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's heart problem. Atlanta's a good place to be though with all of the specialists in the area. He'll be fine and back helping you in the yard I feel certain of it and I'm praying for his full recovery. Bless you sweetie. I understand the strain you are under.
Thank you Deb, hope you are ok too right?
No, my dad won't be doing anything yardwork for at least 6-8 weeks! Which I'm sure he's going to complain about from here till end of world! But they will be staying here untill he can fly back. Last night he was still quite unresponsive and cannot recall his name, he knows he is with Coby (me) and he remembered my husband's name. Which is progress, saturday he knew of no husband! We have been married for 18 years, so that sounds not so good when some one doesn't remember that. We hope there won't be permanent damage.
It was storming like crazy here yesterday and all of last night. Still quite windy but sunny.
Coby, you and your Dad will be in my thoughts and prayers this week! Life can sure throw us some unexpected curves! Take care of yourself too. It is so difficult and uncomfortable for the caregivers in a hospital 24 hours a day. I wish they would just move extra beds in for the NON patient in situations like that. The truth is that most of us are over fourty when this happens to our parents and we can hardly function sleeping on those pitiful excuses for a cot! Which hospital is he in?
Janet
Coby, is your mother able to stay at the hospial with your dad? Can she speak English?
Coby I am so sorry to hear of your father's trouble. Hope things get better soon.
Coby, I too am sorry to hear about your dad. I'm sending good wishes your way. Deb is right, Atlanta is a great place to be for heart surgery. I'm a nurse and agree that it will take a little time for him to get back with the 'program'. Patients his age are often confused and disoriented after surgery. The hospital normally has access to translators, even by phone set up. I know it's not the same as you being there 24/7, but if the need arises they are equipped.
Best,
Laurel
Coby - Love & prayers for your Dad, Mom, & you, too. Please keep us posted of needs you have - in my experience, DGers are the best! Many hospitals have what they call "Hospi-tel" rooms, where family members can stay when their loved one is in for an extended time - you're still moments away, but can get some much-needed rest as well. Might be worth checking into. Samantha
Bless your heart Coby. I'll be praying for your dad and your family.
Brenda
Coby, sorry to hear about your dad. Hope he gets out of the hospital soon and can recuperate at home. Please take care and our prayers are with you and your family. Becky
Aaaawwww, you guys....all you do is make me cry!
Dad is in Northside Hospital which is literally 6 minutes from our house. No my Mom can absolutely not stay with him her english is not good enough and he speaks no english at all! Northside does not have the little family rooms but they have pullout chairs. In the CCU it was a fairly large one (room too btw) but yesterday he moved to regular room with an even shi*@#er pullout bed. Since he slept through last night and was a little better today, we decided we don't need to be there all night. There is a sort of nurse guy who has been spending the nights sitting next to him, which is very helpful to us. We needed to be there since there are no translators Dutch.
He still does not know where exactly he is and certainly not why...it is the strangest thing.
Thank you all for your good thoughts and prayers. I hope to be bringing good news tomorrow.
Tulip
Waiting to hear good news Coby.I know your dad is in good hands.May you be at rest too, we are all pulling for you and your dad.Mike
Justy wondering if there's a way you could make your dad several "I need" cheat sheets. Like a sheet of notes in both Dutch and English that could help him communicate with his nurse. One for I need to go to the bathroom, another for I need a drink of water, etc. He probably could point these things out, but maybe if your mom was the only one there with him it may help her? Just brain storming with ya. This has me so worried. I know they are experienced at this sort of language barrier, being in an International city like Atlanta though (hospital staff, that is).
This message was edited May 13, 2008 1:59 AM
Coby, his restful night is a very good sign. Wishing him a speedy recovery.
I have spent most of my nursing career at Northside and trained in ther CCU/ICU.. Great hospital (if I say so myself :)). Those pullout chairs are not great though. Northside does have translators available in the Family Centered Care Unit as they subscribe to a service. Can't imagine it would be just for that unit. I have seen both on site and phone translators in use in the past year as I was there for some specialty training. If they have no one who speaks Dutch on call for the hospital, they are able to set up a three way phone system.
Laurel
My father went through all of that and took some time to recover his faculties. He was younger than your father too. 78 and he said some rather strange things while recovering. He is doing great now.
Tulip:
Prayers and wishes to your Dad and your family. We'll keep you in our thoughts.
BB
Prayers and good thoughts for you and your family, Also remember to take time to care for your self, draining yourself is very easy to do when you are concerned for a family member.
Oh Coby, just saw this, so sorry about the situation. Will they be able to stay with you for his recovery?? If they have to go back to (Holland), I hope they can find some one there to help take care of him, or at least come in everyday and check on them, It might be too much for just your Mom.
Best wishes for all.
PJ
Coby? What is going on, sweetie? We are all here and praying for you and your family. I hope we hear from you soon. Bless your heart, this has to be hard! Tell your Mama and Daddy that we are all on their side, asking blessings and healing to be theirs!
Goodmorning all,
I've seen yr messages and they made me feel warm. Thank you all very very much.
My dad is home (well..my home of course), last Thursday we were allowed to take him. He finally came out of the narcoses on monday evening!(he went into surgery Friday at 4.30pm). He opened his eyes somewhat, did recognize us but was totally confused where he was. His vital signs were ok on wednesday, he started eating etc. and walking some too. But we find him still very subdued, sometimes mentally not present and almost zombie like. Just sits there and stares at TV! He speaks no english AND at home he NEVER watches tv buts reads. He can't seem to concentrate on reading. He still sleeps a lot too and is very emotional. As soon as he hears that somebody send an email or calles he starts to cry.
So, other than being very busy with everything I am also quite worried. And then there is my Mom of course, whose normal state is worried but now even worse! I am glad the sun is shining today so I can go out and maybe have Dad do some light work.
I just hope this is all normal behaviour for a 84 yr old guy who has never! been sick or hospitalized.
I will keep you posted.
Laurel how are you doing there in Cleveland, apart from being upset with people "repairing" one thing but destroying 2 at the same time! Hang in there.
Love to all, Tuliplady
Coby, I am so glad to hear from you. I am sure it is difficult for all of you, seeing him so upset. Bless his heart, it must be very freightening to be in his position right now. I think is is very "normal" for someone his age. When you get a scare like that, it makes you realize how fragile life really is, and at that age, I think it really upsets them. He sounds like my Dad. He acted so young for his real age and never thought of himself as an elderly man. At age 70 he was playing tennis with men in their 30s. He had a massive stroke, at age 84, and thank God he didn't live long after that, it was just heartbreaking to see him so helpless. He hated it! I will pray that your Dad will find his strength and return his normal self soon. Take care!
Janet
Hospital stays tend to make you feel depressed and gloomy. So glad your dad is home where y'all can bring out some laughter and smiles for him and your mom. Getting out in a breezy sunny area should help him snap out of it. I agree with Janet, now that he's home, he'll be back to his normal busy self soon.
Coby, Thanks for the update. Dad sounds like he's doing great. This is all normal for his age. Your dad's emergency medical event plus surgery often results in something like post traumatic stress syndrome. Janet said it well. The physical insult to the body adds to the situation. Factor in the loss of control. Men, in particular, have an especially bad time with that which is why they can be such difficult patients (and why I specialized in high risk maternal/child nursing ^..~).
I am back in Sandy Springs. We have a wedding tonight at Serenbe. The chimney guy called yesterday with a $33,000 estimate on tear out and replacement. Took my breath away. That does not include the roof or the tree cutting and clean up (the tree is off the roof, but all over the ground around the house). Let's hope the adjuster is 'feeling the love'. I didn't think the damage was that bad.
L
Coby, so glad to hear your Dad is at your home. At least he can talk to someone who understands him. I think any hospital stay can cause confusion and make people depressed. I'm sure he will be back to his normal self soon. Hospitals can be scarey even when you can understand what's going on. I hope you had a good day outside. It sure was beautiful, perfect temperature.
Laurel, Good grief 33K. Can you get another estimate? Will the grout contain gold or silver??? Is he going to use the existing rock or replace it with italian marble? I hope your adjuster is savvy about fireplaces and stone masonry. Good luck.
Becky
Hi Coby:
Glad to hear that your dad is home with you. Being around people you know and love is a very important part of the recuperative process.
Laurel:
33K??? Did your eyes pop out???? Hope you have a stand up insurance company.
BB
I answered in the storm thread as this thread is about Coby and her family.
Hi Coby. Hope your family has a great day and your dad is improving.
Laurel
Hi Coby
Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about your Dad today. Hope he's continuing to improve. I'm sure things must be a lot easier on him now that he's in familiar surroundings. I can't imagine how frightened he must have been at a strange hospital where he couldn't communicate and didn't understand what was going on. I'm sending my prayers for his recovery
~Susan
Any one heard from Coby? I dmailed her and didn't receive an answer. Hope things are alright.
Just a little up date, it's been really busy here and I was exhausted!
My dad had his second check up and all (technically) was fine. Pacemaker is doing good etc. However my dad is still not him self, very confused and restless and couldn't remember a thing longer than 5 minutes or so. Very sad! My mom became more and more unpleasant and irritable and finally we had a major meltdown after which we decided it was time for them to go home. Next day I called insurance comp. and the airline, Dad very happy he went back a week earlier than planned. He was just very homesick, didn't sleep at night (very restless too).
I needed 2 days to "decompress". If anybody has a high maintenance mother they'll understand.: It's too cold, it's too hot here, what time is dinner, it's too spicy, where is Ashley, who is she with.....etc etc...you get the drift?
Dad has been checked out by his doctor back home already and next week he has appointment with a cardiologist, hopefully he is resting more now. Doctor was just very concerned that he lost a lot weight, about 12 Lbs in just 4 weeks! So he is on a "fatty" diet. Well, being back in dairy country Holland should not be problem. I am hoping that in few weeks his mind is healed too, besides the soccer world championships are going on so he's very happy about that!
Coby
Coby, So glad you are all able to get on with your lives. Hopefully time and a soccer championship that goes his way will mend things. I had a high maintenance mom too. Anxiety, I'm sure, just made things that more difficult for all. Take a deep breath and grab a trowel.
Laurel
That would be the best medicin I could think of, and could teach both of you about high mainteance mothers.I ask DW if she would have married me if she had met my family first, and she really had to think.Mike
Laurel/Mike,
Yes I did pick up some garden stuff but of course that too lead to more complaints frm my mother because it WAS hot!! But I could ignore THAT just be "alone" a bit but her complaining about me being in the heat I could not get away from!!!!
My DH can do no wrong with my mother EVER!!! mind you he is really nice, calm and friendly, besides he can literally fix/repair anything under the sun so.. ..who wouldn't love a son in law like that?
I sure hope I won't become like that when I get old, Lord have mercy.
Mike, how are you doing? I loved your memorial garden for Heidi. It's doing well?
Hi Coby:
Glad to see you hanging in there
BB
Coby, glad to see things have settled down in your life. I too have a high maintenance mom so I feel your pain, boy do I ever!
Brenda
Coby, just saw your thread. so sorry to hear about your Dad, but glad he is recovering. Saying prayers for him and you. Hope you are getting some rest.
Hugs, Elaine
I could write a book on high maintenance Mamas! LOL I am glad you have found some peace Coby, it just gets more difficult for me!
Man
I thought only guys thought like this
I love my MIL :-)
LOL Bronx. I think the women just expect it, so we don't talk it that much.
My husband and I are from families where our Mamas birthed and raised five children each, with very dominating husbands. Both Dads are gone and we miss them dearly. We tease now, that our Daddy's may not have had it as easy as we thought!
We admire our Mamas for all they have done and just agreed that for the past few years, THEY deserved to be the ones that were demanding and high maintenance. They both served our families all their lives, so we think now they feel like it is their turn. LOL
Either that, or they are taking all those years of living with our Fathers out on us...lol
Either way, I think sometimes we take them more seriously than we should. They are in their eighties, and alone after sixty years of marriage, and it must be very difficult. So we try very hard to have patience and hug them even when they are not acting huggable!