my 18 year is really getting under my skin

For the past three or so years, my son has become sort of a person that I don't know. I really question his judgement and his refusal to listen to advice from those who care and are also more experienced in lifes challenges. I put more energy in to him getting out of high school than he did. After screwing up every chance at high school and was no longer very welcome at the school, he went in to a program last year that enabled him to get his General Equivalency Diploma. I was finally able to make him see that he needed to either sign up for community college or get a job at that point. He chose getting a job. Well, now it is about six months later and he just quit his job a few days ago.

I told him a week or so ago that if he didn't have full time employment, that he also no longer had a place to live here either. I am sure that I am going to find sticking to the threat rather difficult, but I feel as though it is necessary. I have been dealing with chronic illness for about 25 years now. During the time he was pulling his antics in high school, I was in the middle of dealing with breast cancer, which is under control at this point. I also had other less serious health issues too, but exerted a lot of physical and mental energy where he was concerned.

I hear so many others complaining of much older children still doing these sorts of things. I truly do not feel as though I would be able to live with the frustration of the whole situation for too long and daggone it, I don't deserve to have to. My physical disease will stay quiet and not give me too many problems if I am able to maintain a very low level of stress in my life. I begin getting ill and unable to recover very quickly with each added stressor there is.

I love this child dearly and very deeply, but cannot take this ride with him. I am not the only person on Dave's who is dealing with this sort of thing and I am hoping that we can somehow band together and give each other some support as we come up against issues that are not easy to resolve. I am also hoping that some others who have successfully dealt with this issue will come to our aid and give us some tips on how to keep ourselves from spiraling down along with the youngsters.

Anyone? Thoughts? Anything?

Ruby