This is just too funny!!!

Trois just sent me this and I thought you guys would get a kick out of it if you haven't seen it.
Josephine.


These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour

__________________________________________________

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

__________________________________________________

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

__________________________________________________

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns ,Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )

A: What did your last slave die of?

__________________________________________________

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

__________________________________________________

Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

_________________________________________________

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

__________________________________________________

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ...
oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

__________________________________________________

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )

A: You are a British politician, right?

____________________________ ______________________

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.

__________________________________________________

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

__________________________________________________

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

__________________________________________________

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

__________________________________________________

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male popula tion? ( Italy )

A: Yes, gay night clubs.

__________________________________________________

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.

__________________________________________________

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help? ( USA )

A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour..

__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )/SPAN>

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first..
__._,_.___

That is hilarious...but oh so true,ROFL!!

Ha ha ha! very funny ...but you would be really surprised to hear what many tourists expect to find here.

In Austria they sell a T shirt that says

No we don't have kangaroos here!

It seems many people mix us up with Austria
thanks for sharing :)

LOVED IT-made my day thanks !
Emelle (from NZ,but an honorary Aussie sometimes)

People sure do have strange concepts about Australia:)

Well done. Thanks for sharing!

LOL!!

That was GUT WRENTGINGLY hilarious!!!!!! Thank you. Me no can spell too guud.

I would like to point out that I understand the kangaroos on the streets and highways do not smell too good but can be cooked up into a jolly good stew.

Don't worry about the kangaroos hopping down the street, they will usually get out of your way, it's the campfires we cook our dinner on that are hazardous to travelers. Also it's not only the drop bears that can fall on you from trees, we have the world's largest ants here too They climb trees and are very aggressive and will chase you, so wear your running shoes when visiting.
You made my day , it's good to have a laugh . Jean

Very funny! milk is illegal?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I watched an episode of I'm a Celebrity get me out of here! anyone heard of it? ...it was so funny the UK celebs were so fightened of our basic bities ...I think that they must not have any nasties over there.hey LApalms I forgot to say that most Australian gardens on the outskirts of Sydney don't have lots of gum trees and some of the others you mentioned because they explode into fire when the temps hit over the ton! ...something to consider after your fires :)

Don't they have our trees in LA???? some of the reasons for their bushfires.
I have passed this on to several lists and has had a great reaction. Thanks for the laugh.

I can feel some sympathy for
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )

I had the distance problem in reverse in UK. Trying to work out where the town of Windsor was we estimated according to out perception of distance. Had gone through several villages before we realised we had missed it.

also feel sorry for this one.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA )

It is really hard to work out directions in a hurry when you travel to Europe. At least I could not do it automatically particularly in hilly terrain.


Liz

I don't know about in the street, but there are certainly Kangaroos over the street!

Is that why you have a fence and a gate? The Q's and A's were very good. Have you any more?