The Explanation

A wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom
making love to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat upset.

'You are a disrespectful pig!', she cried. 'How dare you do this
to me - a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I
want a divorce straight away!'

And Paddy (for it was he) replied 'Hang on just a minute luv, so
at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead', she sobbed, 'but
they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'
And Paddy began-
'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young
lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless
that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very
thin, not well dressed and very dirty.

She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my
compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last
night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.
The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while
she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so
I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer
jeans that you've had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are
too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present,
which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse
my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I
also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't
use because someone at work has a pair of the same.

Here Paddy took a quick breath and continued, 'She was so grateful
for my understanding and help, and as I walked her to the door she turned
to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please.. do you have anything
else that your wife doesn't use?'