funny senior stories

>
>A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida
>Adult community.
>
>A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench.
>
>After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?"
>
>He replies, "I lived here years ago."
>
>"So, where were you all these years?"
>
>"In prison," he says.
>
>"Why did they put you in prison?"
>
>He looked at her, and very quietly said, "I killed my wife."
>
>"Oh!" said the woman. "So you're single..."
>
>* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
>
>Another two elderly people living in Stonecrest, he was a widower and she a
>widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a
>community supper in the big arena in the Clubhouse.
>
>The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went
>on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage
>to ask her, "Will you marry me?"
>
>After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered "Yes.
>Yes, I will!"
>
>The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their
>respective places.
>
>Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?" He
>couldn't remember . Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a
>faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.
>
>First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he
>reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he
>inquired, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you
>say 'No'?"
>
>He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I
>meant it with all my heart." Then she continued, "I am so glad that you
>called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."
>
>* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
>
>A man was telling his neighbor in Sun City Center , "I just bought a new
>hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.
>It's perfect."
>
>"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
>
>"Twelve thirty."
>
>* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
>
>Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor at the local Medical Clinic
>to get a physical.
>
>A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a
>gorgeous young woman on his arm.
>
>A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really
>doing great, aren't you?"
>
>"Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'", Morris
>replied.
>
>To which doctor said, "I didn't say that, Morris. I said, 'You've got a
>heart murmur, be careful!"
>
>* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *