When insults had class....

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
--Winston Churchill


"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow


"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)


"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx


"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-- Mark Twain


"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-- Oscar Wilde


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... If you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

Churchill's response: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend
second, if there is one." -- Winston Churchill


"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
--Stephen Bishop


"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
--John Bright


"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
--Irvin S. Cobb


"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
--Samuel Johnson


"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating


"He had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter Kerr


"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
-- Mark Twain


"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-- Mae West


"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde


Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your
coffee!"
Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!"