At the new seniors home

The time came for me to make the move to a care home. I knew it was for the best and that my family would visit often without having to worry that I might fall or be injured while alone at home. The place I found seemed almost too good to be true. The cost was low, the rooms were private, the place was immaculate and there were plenty of attendants to see to all my needs. The common room was filled with patients who were smiling and talking. There was even a group of bridge players that welcomed me into the game. I was just certain I had found the best spot on earth for anyone in my situation....

Sitting at the Bridge table this afternoon I leaned to the left a bit. Instantly an aide appeared and gently leaned me back. A few minutes later I leaned to the right and again an aide appeared and gently leaned me back.

When my son came to visit a few minutes later I had to tell him we would need to find me another home after all. Why? he asked in panic. I explained that although in every other way this place was great BUT They won't let you fart!