The Purina Diet

I was in the checkout line at Wal-Mart, and (since I have 3 dogs) one of my items was the biggest bag of Purina dog food they had

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of me and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet. It says on the package that the food is nutritionally complete so even though I had had a problem before that I had lost so much weight that I was going to try it again. . The way that it works is to fill your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the dog food. I told her no; it was because I'd been chasing a car down the street when another one hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack as he staggered out the door laughing.