Weight Loss Thread Nov. 25 - Dec. 2(?)

Gee, can Dec. really be that close? Where has this month gone? It has slippped by me so fast I hardly remember it. But it has been a good month too. Lots of lovely days to work in the yarden, open windows for fresh air, put all the animals outside and assure them they will look back soon and long for such lovely warm days, etc. The bad stuff sort of fades into the distance when I remember those. Even the bad days with Jack I can remember the good parts of them. When he was so grateful for all the care I gave him, being able to help him be more comfortable, etc.

I need to get up there and get him shaved, bathed(in bed of course), teeth brushed, etc. With him being 60+ miles away the phone will be our primary contact. I'll have to reluctantly leave much of his personal hygeine care to the staff which is something I have never done before. I usually moved in with him until he came home. I may do more of that than I realize this time too. Holly & Kyle will take care of the animals for me. If there is an area I can sleep at night I'll stay for at least 2 or 3 days during the week. I'll take clean clothes, all my meds, a cooler with ice packs and food, etc. I really prefer to take my own food than to eat out. I'll find out today if there is an area I can stay. Other times, many years ago when he was at this hospital I was allowed to live in his room with him. They had a nice recliner type chair and it worked out very well. I am a fiercely protective person/wife and has always believed it is MY DUTY and JOY to take care of my husband and children. If I move in it will be tomorrow. I have to work tonight.

I called the hospital & tried to talk to Jack but he couldn't hold the phone for long apparently. I ask him how he is and he said "Fine". I told him if he was fine he wouldn't be in a hospital. LOL That is standard talk for us. He always wants to downplay his condition so I won't be too concerned and the doctors won't know just how sick he is. I can't get him to understand that it also makes me look bad when I tell them things he won't admit to or changes his story from what he told me. Our local doctor has come to rely on my reports more than his. The nurse said we have to come up with a code word for them to be able to give out information. Kim, is that a common practice nowadays? I've never heard of such a thing and our little hospital certainly doesn't do it. At least not with people they know as well as us. I guess we'll use our online name. Hopefully the children, pastor, and close friends can use it too. I want the children and pastor at least to be able to check on him and get all the information available. I'll have to give all the names, etc. to the nurse today. I kind of hope he can be transfered to the VA hosptial soon. It is right across the street. They take patients thru an underground tunnel built just for that purpose. They know him so much better over there. His care was transferred from the University hosptials and clinics to VA when the VA hospital was ready for patients back about '73. They use the same doctors in many areas.

I blew it last night before going ot bed and my digestive system is telling me about it this morning. I finished off the 3 large pieces of very heavy rich but sf pumpkin cheesecake as a bedtime snack. I did take 2 of the amalase inhibitor capsules first tho. Today it is back to healthy eating. But, hey, cheesecake is healthy isn't it. Tons of milk products, yes I have to live with the side effects of lactose intolerance and milk allergy, but all that calcium is good for me. I don't remember it being fat free tho. I don't think Aldi's had fat free cream cheese. Oh, well, I rarely do that. Very little lunch. Just not hungry. Breakfast was a couple pieces of sf cherry pie with very little of the crust. Not much crust with the cheesecake either. Back to healthier eating today.

Many long hours. in the van coming up. My back doesn't like that. But it will have to deal with it. Thank GOD for muscle relaxers and strong pain meds. And I do mean THANK GOD. I think of all the poor people around this world who have no meds or doctors to help them thru such sufferings. I know what it is like to have to cope with chronic pain with no help but OTC which many of them don't even have. I picture in my mind the Katrina victims, especially those trapped on that bridge for nearly if not more than a week with no water, food, hygeine facilities, medications that many needed to even stay sane, alive, etc. I just do NOT understand how or why that was allowed to happen.

Well, folk, another glorious day beckons and I must heed the call. I refuse to allow myself to get down and depressed. Sure could be easy some days. As is often said at our church, "GOD is good all the time, and all the time GOD is good.". I know our lives are in his hands and His chilrens steps are ordered by HIM. I have peace about what is going on in our lives right now. Sometimes is it hard to not be overly concerned, but that is the opposite of faith and ties GOD's hands to some degree. It is also emotionally, physically, and spiritually draining, as well as accomplishing nothing positive. So I choose to be faithfilled, keep my focus on JESUS and the directions I feel HE is leading us, knowing that HE sees the whole picture and has it all planned out for our good and HIS glory if we will just let him be in control. All day yesterday I kept singing the chorus of the song The Voice of Truth. It tells me a different story, I do not need to be afraid, this is for HIS glory, and I choose to believe it above all the voices calling out to me. That shortened but gets the point across. I don't know the name of the artist or group who sings it. Maybe Third Day?

GOD bless and keep each of you. Walk with GOD and be assured HE will be walking right there beside you.