did you know

used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned
that most people die of natural causes.


Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make
sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable
plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the
ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the
house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive
anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and
the dead.


Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which
one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the
depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying
in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder
these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they
used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It
pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world
weird. Now the world is weird and people take
Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest
fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the
freezer?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a
car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?