I just got word that my mother has been admitted to the hospital again. Chronic anemia and plain old age. She is ninty and mentally still sharp as a tack, but her body is failing at last. Until this last March she lived alone and still gardened. Granted it was only one flower bed and an assortment of potted plants, but she loved it. Even in the nursing home she had potted plants, until she had back surgery in May and my brother let them all die.
I am hurting emotionally. I know that the docs will give her a couple of units of blood, rehydrate her and send her home. She is not in immediate danger and, by the time I got to Birmingham, I would have to turn around and drive back in order to be at school on Monday. But I feel so bad not being with her.
After I got the call I went out and weeded the new bed and moved a few things into the shade bed. It helped. Not enough, but some. She is the one who got me started gardening. I felt closer to her just being outside with my hands in the dirt.
Thanks for being a community I can share with.
Beth
gardening for therapy
Prayers for both of you during this time Beth :) I plant marigolds every year in memory of my mom, who's love of gardening insprired me as well. Being outside is a great healer and yes working in the garden calms the mind.
:)
Susan
I said a prayer for you and your mom and will keep you both in my thoughts.
Deborah
My thoughts and prayers for you and your Mama, Beth. I'm fortunate to still have mine.........living alone at 86 and she loves it!! I'm sure when she can no longer drive she will move in with us. You are right about the gardening...it is soothing and will make you forget your problems.
I'm praying for God's blessings on your Mama. Baking bread and gardening, the two most cathartic activities I know. It's too hot to bake bread, (really too hot for gardening, too, but I do it anyway.) Your Mama would be proud that she has been instrumental in your gardening!
Beth, I'm so sorry about your mother! Thank goodness you have something like gardening to busy your hands and think solitary thoughts while doing it. It's saved my sanity a few times.
Something about doing repetative tasks, especially gardening, seems to re-organize the brain and just makes it easier to adapt, you know? When I had to learn to live life without my best girlfriend around, gardening made things more gentle.
And you can still share gardening with mom, even when she can not garden herself anymore. My dear friend Janie can not garden anymore either. We talk about all sorts of plants, scents, when they bloom here vs. when they bloom in Toronto (where I am originally from), what seeds I'm growing, how roses smell. We could talk for hours about our common love!
Wishing your mother the best, and to you some gentleness for your soul,
GGG
Beth, May I add my prayers to everyone else's? Glad to hear that she is still "sharp as a tack" and hope you get a chance to be with her soon so you can sit and talk gardening. Like GGG, I find that's almost as cathartic as the "doing" part. Sheila
God bless you both. There is nothing we can do for aging and it hurts... My Mom went three years ago (at 92) and I still miss her every day.
Gardening helps as there is comfort in touching the earth and in seeing - closely - the perfection of nature. The same rhythm is there, as is in us. We can touch and feel it through our hands. When my Mom was in care, I took flowers several times a week and also took flowers to the workers. Everyone was so pleased to see them.
Now I take lilies and roses and whatever is blooming in my garden to older neighbors. It helps me and they are so very, very pleased. You might do the same since you are too far away to take them to your Mom. There is a certain comfort in it.
I'll keep you in my prayers. This is a very hard part of life.
Sterling
Thanks to you all for your prayers and good wishes. Mother and I have found it hard to be apart. We haven't got a lot of family and she and I have always been really close. I miss her.
Beth
...God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature...I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles. (from The Diary of a Young Girl, entry for 2/23/1944) "
Anne Frank, Holocaust victim (born 6/12/1929 )
Thinking of you and your mom today, Beth.