20 ways to keep your sanity...

20 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

5. Put decaf in the coffemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffine addictions, switch
to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling
diamonds".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".

8. don't use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious
face.

11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds
all day at work.

14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't come to their
party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers call you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot
yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go."

20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity ... e-mail this
to someone to make them smile.

It's called therapy
:)


This message was edited Jul 11, 2006 1:18 PM