Compost Folktails - sometimes gruesome

It's funny the tales that get created by people. Several years ago we ordered a large amount of mushroom compost from a local farm. In "around the water cooler" type conversations about this farm's compost I was told that there had previously been scandal. There were claims of bodies being disposed of and, well, processed into compost. I can say that I subsequently thought twice about the scraps of cloth-like stuff that lay in the batch of compost I actually shoveled onto my beds....

Got any stories like this one?

Remember the movie "Fargo?"...

I thought about that movie the other day when I was wishing for a chipper.

But I wanted it for wood and leaves and stuff. Honest. I swear.

" Garden Solution # 66:
Are you tired of your neighbor criticizing your flower tastes and overgrown hedges? Do his tomato entries always leave you in second place at the fair? Does he let his dog pee in your yard and ruin your hydrangeas? Here the fix! And you can turn those cat and skunk holes in your yard into much-needed nutrients. Bloodmeal has high nitrogen, bonemeal has high phosphorous, and carotin is nutrient-rich protein. All you need... "

Hello? Is this the Sheriff's Department in Clifton? I'd like to report a disturbed citizen...

Hah! So funny! Love it! Grinnin' here!

Dear Clifton Sheriff I know a garden that is out producing others in the town. I'll help you dig up the evidence under the plants and assist in evaluating their growth in my garden. I loved it when the Fargo sheriff heard the guy GROANING trying to STUFF the pieces into the shredder.

I love it, Soferdig & Zeppy.

Infomercial announcer number two:
" Do you remember the day you just finished planting that big annual bed, which happened to be the same day that the neighbor's kid got a new remote control truck with dirt-kicking capabilities? If you call witin the next ten minutes, we will send you (for free!) our little handbook including forty different games to lure those kids into becoming beneficial to your pansies! -Like hide-and-go-seek in the feeder chute."

Announcer number one:
" That's right, Phil. But did you also know that it can be used to grind down branches, leaves, and other plant material?"

Number two:
" No Kidding!?"

Number one:
" That's right! Wood can be turned into mulch in a breeze, including that gaudy heirloom furniture from your in-laws."

Both together:
"Great!"

I was going to post this on it's own thread but I think it fits in quite well right here! Be careful where you roam.

I found this sign while on vacation in Niagara-on-th-lake Canada.

-Kim

Kim, what is that handsome gesneriad to the left?

I need to make one of those signs...

That would be a Mac's Stop Sign, I didn't want to transplant until after it bloomed. As you can see in this pic there are serveral more flowers still to open.

-Kim

Ah well, you guys crack me up. No, this was a commercial operation so mob or gang related, right? Folks probably thoght about the bodies because of the bits of cloth etc....LOVE the compost sign!

Linda

Hm. There was a local man who made national news when his wife and little girl dissappeared. He gave the usual "Please help me" teary-eyed crap on the news. I can't remember if it was bits of the wife or the daughter that were found in the landfill after volunteers combed it for weeks. I got rather tired of hearing about it, so I forget how it ended. They looked like they were the perfect, church-going family who lived in the desirable side of town. When a friend bought woodchips from the landfill's compost site, I tastelessly joked that the scraps of cloth meant that ol' Mr. Blagg got smarter with the disposal of the second family member...

Say, what do you folks reckon are those cloth-bits in the compost? Mowing-serviceman hankecheifs?

I bought a rental house 4 yrs ago and went to work on the yard. It was all dug up and covered with weeds. After rototilling the entire 2000 sq ft yard I found 84 socks nothing else unusual. I guess thats why the dog door came out of the laundry room. Wouldn't you start wondering if the underwear gnomes were having too many children? I think that is what you are finding in the compost material. UNDERWEAR GNOMES LIVE NEAR BY!