Fun letter to Santa (maybe ... if you can get the URL)

If this URL will work this is a fun (adult) letter to Santa, here goes:

http://members.aol.com/frogiearno/dearsanta.htm

edited to say --- I think this works, but if you post results on DG make sure it's "clean", Thanks, Jill

This message was edited Dec 12, 2005 10:43 PM

Too funny-

Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Victoria's Office party. It was Sandy who spiked the punch with too much Mike's Hard Lemonade. I can't help it if I drank 3 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like cucumber and green tea.

I thought it was funny when I put April's camisole on my head and danced the tango on the Hunt Board while singing `Do They Know It's Christmas'. I didn't mean to break Victoria's tv remote and don't know why Victoria would accuse me of Felony Theft.

I don't remember calling Skipp's wife a flamboyant rooster---even though she looked like one with green eye shadow and blue lipstick!

And when I threw up on Danny's husband's face, it was only because I ate too much of that key lime pie.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Hummer through my neighbor's Mud Room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a interesting frog and have me arrested for kidnapping!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all slithery and slimy. And I'm really not to blame for any of this wonderful stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and patiently yours,
Lauren (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 150 bucks!

Ok kid, here's my goofy letter:

Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Dawn's Office party. It was Mary who spiked the punch with too much margaritta. I can't help it if I drank 4 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Cinnamon.

I thought it was funny when I put Cathy's Jeans on my head and danced the Happy dance on the Recliner while singing `Imagine'. I didn't mean to break Dawn's Computer and don't know why Dawn would accuse me of stealing.

I don't remember calling Mike's wife a colorful Sheep---even though she looked like one with Blue eye shadow and Aqua lipstick!

And when I threw up on Denise's husband's Knee, it was only because I ate too much of that Lasagna

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Crown Vic through my neighbor's Closet. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a square Squirell and have me arrested for murder!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all loose and high. And I'm really not to blame for any of this low stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and tight yours,
Jill (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 3 bucks!

looks like I'm cheap and easy --- lol!

Oh my sickness, haha.

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Rhonda's Office party. It was Gary who spiked the punch with too much Coke. I can't help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like lavendar.

I thought it was funny when I put Michelle's hip hugger jeans on my head and danced the Polka on the computer desk while singing `Underneath Your Clothes'. I didn't mean to break Rhonda's car starter and don't know why Rhonda would accuse me of assault.

I don't remember calling Jacques's wife a hairy horse---even though she looked like one with lilac eye shadow and pink lipstick!

And when I threw up on Donna's husband's ear, it was only because I ate too much of that Wunder Bar.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Black Truck through my neighbor's laundry room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a stinky squirrel and have me arrested for jay walking!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all furry and scary. And I'm really not to blame for any of this big stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and slowly yours,
Erynne (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 2 bucks!

Hey I'm cheaper than you and slower apparently!

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Missy's Office party. It was Nancy who spiked the punch with too much tequila. I can't help it if I drank 47 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like rotten eggs.

I thought it was funny when I put Becky's thong on my head and danced the Macarena on the couch while singing `My Sharona'. I didn't mean to break Missy's razor and don't know why Missy would accuse me of murder.

I don't remember calling Dan's wife a putrid pig---even though she looked like one with red eye shadow and orange lipstick!

And when I threw up on Julie's husband's navel, it was only because I ate too much of that coconut.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Eclipse through my neighbor's kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a huge monkey and have me arrested for burglary!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all annoying and lazy. And I'm really not to blame for any of this loud stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and extremely yours,
Mary (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 13 bucks!

Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth


Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Stephanie's Office party. It was Tanya who spiked the punch with too much tequila. I can't help it if I drank 63 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like bacon.

I thought it was funny when I put Jane's sweater on my head and danced the foxtrot on the couch while singing `Jungle Boogie'. I didn't mean to break Stephanie's DVD player and don't know why Stephanie would accuse me of assault and battery.

I don't remember calling Don's wife a weird cow---even though she looked like one with yellow eye shadow and green lipstick!

And when I threw up on Teresa's husband's leg, it was only because I ate too much of that guacamole.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Buick through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a freaky horse and have me arrested for theft!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all bleak and pretty. And I'm really not to blame for any of this short stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quickly yours,
McGlory (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 12 bucks!

This is just blatantly silly! Thank you so much! I sent it on to friends. What a riot!

Oh yeah! I'm no longer the cheap one! LOL!

Oh Moby --- My Sharona! What a riot (bring'in back those memories!) And now you know how "old" I am, LOL! And visa/versa!

Glad you all are having some fun with this one! My mailbox is full at work at the moment but you can bet I'll be passng it around at the office after I clean out my e-mail! I think I'll even send it to the GM.

This message was edited Dec 13, 2005 5:20 AM

Dear Santa,

I tried to be good, but at 56 years old, I'm a lost case!

Drop my share of gifts at someone else's house. Being bad all year is more fun.

Wanda the troublemaker

This is fun - I have to admit to forwarding the link to a few poeple.

Here's mine

Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth


Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Kim's Office party. It was Bill who spiked the punch with too much vodka. I can't help it if I drank 12 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like vanilla.

I thought it was funny when I put Kim's sock on my head and danced the marimba on the couch while singing `Frosty the Snowman'. I didn't mean to break Kim's Palm Pilot and don't know why Kim would accuse me of Robbery.

I don't remember calling Mike's wife a Short Pig---even though she looked like one with pink eye shadow and orange lipstick!

And when I threw up on Marsha's husband's neck, it was only because I ate too much of that broccoli.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my truck through my neighbor's bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a obnoxious dog and have me arrested for kidnapping!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all damp and dirty. And I'm really not to blame for any of this rotton stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and slowly yours,
Stacy (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 25 bucks!