To any of you who've been "in the path" to have the track of a hurricane change, and miss you entirely...
Doesn't it feel weird & almost wrong to be happy to have avoided the worst of the storm? I'm sitting here at work listening to my co-workers' happiness at "not getting hit", and it doesn't seem right. It almost feels obnoxious & rude to say (& think), "Gee, I'm glad it wasn't us", when just a few hours up the coast, folks can't even get home to assess the damage. Yes I'm glad I still have an apartment & town to come back to; but I don't feel right saying, "Wow! Sure am glad WE didn't get that!"
Especially after the time & monies spent on gas to evac, board fees for cats & horse, and weekend wasted driving all over God's country just to come back home.
How does anybody else that's been through this situation "get over it"?
It feels weird
yes angelsong, I feel that way also. I cope by trying to pay my good fortune forward.
vossner - See, that's what I'd like to do, but I can't. I've got gas & boarding bills to pay for my own evacuation. All those, along with all my other day-to-day bills...
It's hard to prioritize helping somebody else when I've got to figure out how to take care of myself, first...
i know what you mean. adn this gu9ilt goes clear down to folks who have lost everything, they are just feeling guilty to still be alive and know where their loved ones are.
just cope the best you can, and PLEASE re read the Katirna threads on coping and PTSS!
no joke.
tf
Isn't it amazing how we (especially we women!) can make ourselves feel guilty?? AngelSong (I love your nickname, by the way!), it is perfectly normal and honest to be grateful that the storm didn't hit where you live. That does NOT automatically translate to being glad it hit someone else - of course you aren't! And it doesn't take anything at all away from the grief and compassion you feel for the people who were impacted and hurt by it all. Take care of yourself and your fubabies. By all means read the great thread in the Katrina forum about dealing with the stress. It takes time to heal from everything, including the stress and anxiety- and it wasn't small or insignificant!! - that all of this caused all of us. Hang in there, my friend. :-)
~ Marylyn
Like these guys have said, it's normal to feel relief. Survivor's guilt, even when we're talking hurricane damage and not necessarily deaths, is normal. I think some people, maybe your co-workers fall into this category, tend to talk up a lot when they don't know what else to say or how to deal with those intermingled feelings of guilt and relief.
in addition: "paying it forward" doesn't necessarily mean $. If you can, that's nice. If you can't, there are gillion of gestures that involve no money and make the recipient feel like at million dollars.
AngelSong, ther really is alot of ways to pay it forward. Maybe someone else on DG needs a HurricaneBuddy. Or just send a few cards out telling a few people you are sorry about their belongings,
But so very happy they are safe. There are alot of things that can be done with giving of yourself, time and will really bless someone for years to come.
Maybe you could organize a little fundraiser at work?
Our company is doing a great deal to help both our own employees affected, as well as cities in which we have operations. I contributed to Katrina funds before evacuating, both by donating, and by giving blood. I guess my issue isn't that I don't know how to resolve storefront signs like, "Thank God for sparing us", or similar comments from co-workers. I don't feel right saying, "God, Thank You for keeping the hurricane away." That to me sounds like, "Thanks for sending it to somebody else."
If I lived in an area that hadn't been pegged to get a direct hit, maybe this wouldn't all be happening to me. I just feel really wrong being thankful for being spared. Especially when, just 12 hours north east, people can't even go home because they don't have electricity or sewage running. That could've been me, and by all predictions (until 36 hours before landfall) it should've been me.
Good grief! Never expected to go through all of these feelings less than 12 months from moving here...
AngelSong, I understand some of what you are feeling even tho I am clear up in MO. It is hard for me to eat, sleep in a nice bed, ect. without thinking of how some people not that many hours away from us are doing without those on a regular basis and will be for some time to come. It has always been hard for me to see someone else suffer.