TIME TO BRING IN THE PLANTS

I posted this article last year when it was time to bring in the plants. Folks enjoyed it so much, I thought I would post it again. Enjoy!
Gary/Louisville
ALWAYS THOUGHT GREEN SNAKES WERE OK?

Green Garden Grass snakes can be dangerous, Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes.

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during
a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to
protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little
green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it
had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the
sofa. She let out a very loud scream.

The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the living room
naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake
under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to
look for it.

About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the leg. He
thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted. His wife thought he
had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance. The attendants rushed
in and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out.
About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the
Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the
stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is in the
hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she
called on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He
armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the
couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down
on the sofa in relief. But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between
the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed
and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor
man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive
her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the
grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and
slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned
goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it
needed stitches.

An ambulance was again called and it was determined that the injury
required hospitalization.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor
lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he
had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a
small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.
By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled
the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were
about to arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain how it
all happened
over a little green snake. They called an ambulance, which took away
the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch. One of
the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and
hit the leg of the end table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell
over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a
fire in the drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out the flames
and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog,
who startled, jumped up and raced out into the street, where an
oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police
car and set it on fire.

Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire
house was blazing. Neighbors had called the fire department and the
arriving fire-truck had started raising his ladder as they were
halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires
and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a
ten-square city block area.

Time passed - both men were discharged from the hospital, the house
was re-built, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with
their world.

About a year later they were watching TV and the weatherman
announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if
she thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

She shot him.

Author: Unknown