> To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our
>own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to
>make you chuckle.
>
> Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from
>the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children
>After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first
>thing he said was "DON'T!"
>
> "Don't what?" Adam replied.
>
> "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
>
> "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have
>forbidden fruit!!!!!"
>
> "No Way!"
>
> "Yes way!"
>
> "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
>
> "Why?"
>
> "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why
>He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.
>
> A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break, and
>He was ticked! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit"?
>
> "Uh huh," Adam replied.
>
> "Then why did you?" said the Father.
>
> "I don't know," said Eve.
>
> "She started it!" Adam said
>
> "Did not!"
>
> "Did too!"
>
> "DID NOT!"
>
> Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam
>and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it
>has never changed.
>
> BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and
>lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be
>hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what made you think
>it would be a piece of cake for you?
>
> THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:
>
> 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk
>and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut
>up.
>
> 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
>
> 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
>
> 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word
>for word what you shouldn't have said.
>
> 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind
>yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
>
> 6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
>
> ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
>
> Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.
>
>
> AND FINALLY:
>
> IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS
>ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
>
> "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
>
Children in your lives?
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