Zen Thoughts

Someone sent me these thoughts...enjoy.
Gary/Louisville

Subject: Zen Thoughts

Zen thoughts

Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

A day without sunshine is like, night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

42.7 per cent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

99 per cent of journalists give the rest a bad name.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Remember, half the people you know are below average.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

Monday is an awful way to spend a seventh of your life.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Always try to be modest, and be proud of it.

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle
of it.

Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for
the rest of the day.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning
to others.

Never buy a car you can't push.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.

Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?

Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.