This is hilarious!

"If your dog thinks you are the best,
don't ask for a second opinion!"



A Dog Tale for Monday Lunch -- it'll make your day seem a LOT better....... by comparison. Sent to me by a friend who breeds, shows
and runs Siberian huskies. It came across their Breed Wire...


Put your coffee down & swallow before reading...
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Me and the girls (my packhiking sammies and my min-pin, who
could be the first packhiking min-pin ever) have seen some incredible
things when we go packhiking. The story is somewhat graphic in nature, so
I've left a lot of that kind of stuff out. Use your own imagination.



We were hoofing it through the Cleveland metroparks with
about two miles left on our ten mile hike, and we came up to a picnic
pavilion area. Off to the left were several portable toilets, porta potties,
and one was being used in a very unusual fashion. There was some sort of
training cart parked next to the porta potty, with four Siberian
husky-malamute looking dogs in harnesses, all hooked to one gang line (I think that
is what it is called). The gang line was probably 20 feet long, and went directly
into the door of the porta potty. The dogs were not hooked to the training
cart at all, so it appeared they were out on a port o' let sled riding
mission. I can only assume there was no way to anchor the cart and dogs while
the driver was taking care of business, so she got the brilliant idea to
just take the gang line into the porta potty and hold on to the dogs while she
accomplished her goal.

You are probably thinking the exact same thoughts I was when
I saw this little set up: Recipe for disaster. And of course this
story wouldn't really be worth typing if it ended with the woman coming out
and driving off with her dogs into the sunset.

I am fishing for my digital camera to take a picture of the
porta potty-pulling team when my dogs yank their leashes, almost
toppling me over.
A squirrel has decided to stop nearby, pick up a nut and
chow it while my three dogs watch. So far the four sled dogs haven't seen
the squirrel, but it is only a matter of time, as my dogs are doing the "If I
wasn't on this leash I would kick that squirrel's a##" dance.

Sure enough, the potty pullers' heads all snap to the direction of the
squirrel, and they all appear to get the same idea as my three straining at
their leashes. My dogs see those dogs spot the squirrel, and
some sort of dog tribal hunting nonverbal communication thing happens, as
every one of the seven dogs on either end of the field realizes that its
pretty much a race to see which of the two groups can get to the squirrel
faster. My dogs redouble their pulling efforts, and the four dog sled
team reacted as one, and lunged full steam for the squirrel.

The porta potty sort of spins about 30 degrees and rocks
like the dickens. Luckily, it doesn't tip over, but kind of rocks back and
forth a time or two and then rights itself. Well, that is just unacceptable to
the sled team, and they give another huge yank. The porta potty spins yet
again, and from inside some sort of human screech occurs.

The screech seemed to slow the sled dogs down and they
settled into a nervous stand. At this point the squirrel decided the dogs
weren't going to get him so he started doing some kind of "na,na,na can't
get me" dance, infuriating the porta potty pullers. If you ever wondered
why dog sleds are built long and low to the ground, as opposed to small
and tall, like, say --- the shape of a porta potty, you need no longer
wonder if this is a design flaw.

Anyhow, the pulling and barking started up again. The porta
potty did its best to stay standing, rocking heavily back and forth. The
dogs, sensing victory, forgot completely about the squirrel, and started
timing their pulls with the rocking, and of course triumphantly gave one
last tug and yanked the porta potty over. For some reason, they just
stopped pulling after the port potty settled on the ground.

(I'm not sure what happened to the squirrel at this point, although if he
was anything like that insurance commercial where the two
squirrels make the car wreck and high five each other, then my guess is he ran
off into the woods to get his friends so he could show them what he'd
accomplished.)

From the port potty came a series of cuss words unrepeatable in this story,
so I figured I'd better see if I could help. The porta potty unfortunately
had landed face down, meaning the door was now the bottom.

I tied my dogs to a tree, and ventured toward the porta toilet. I asked if
the occupant was OK. She said yes, in a lot more colorful and verbal way
than just yes, but for the purposes of this story we'll just say she said
yes.

The port potty hadn't fared as well. You could tell it was hurt because
there was a lot of blue fluid leaking from it. I told the woman that I
would have to roll the port potty on its side to get the door open and she
should find something to hang on to. Well a couple good shoves later, the
thing rolled 90 degrees and the door was exposed.

The door opened and out crawled a blue mama smurf, covered with the blue
blood of the dying port potty. Her dogs came running and decided she
needed a bath. About this point she realized that step 10 in the bathroom
process entitled "put your pants back on" had been skipped, so she
disappeared back into the port potty.

Well, she was in absolutely no mood to talk about her ride on the wild side,
which I didn't blame her, so she got the short version of what had happened
outside and I spared her the indignity of having to recite what happened
from inside. I helped her hook her dogs back up to the cart looking thing,
and off she went, glowing blue as she went drove down the path and back into
the woods.

I can't imagine what all the other visitors thought as they walked serenely
through the park and were passed by a [deleted] off blue smurf and her merry
band of blue-tongued dogs.
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