Great Truths

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
>1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
>2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush
>your hair.
>3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always
>catch the second person.
>4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
>5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
>6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
>7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
>8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
>9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
>10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.
>
>GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
>1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
>2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I
>can get.
>3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
>4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
>5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but
>nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
>6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
>(my favorite)
>7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
>
>THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
>1) You believe in Santa Claus.
>2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
>3) You are Santa Claus.
>4) You look like Santa Claus

Sorry, no credits....just one of those things people pass around.